In a society where we place a shape, color, size, and name to beauty it has distorted the self-esteem of many women in the world. As I become more of an ambassador for my own personal beauty I realize beauty does not have a specific appearance. Beauty has to be defined on our own terms not by the majority in America. When I think of beauty I began to think of the eclectic style of Erkyah Badu, Solange Knowles and Rihanna . These women have set their own standard of what beauty feels like and look like to them. It feels amazing to go through a journey to find what fits me as a woman because in this journey I am finding my beauty. Many African American girls struggle with the idea that their dark skin, dark hair is not beautiful because they are faced with the idea that pale skin and blue eyes are the ideal beauty. White women struggle with the illusion of being curvy is considered to be fat when curves are the epitome of womanhood, the gratitude of beauty.
Beauty has no name, shape, size, color or texture however it is the hidden secret of what a woman holds inside. When we can tap into our own inner beauty then we can unlock a glow that can radiant externally. I look at women such as Lupita Nygon’o who has been such an inspiration for women of color because she has broken the barriers of what beauty could be if we look beyond the surface. We are raised in a society where it is encouraged to change the way we look to be accepted by the world but God created us in his image; perfect. In the May issue of Essence Magazine Solange Knowles stated, “As women we have the choice of how we want to look and how we want to feel and that’s the beauty of being a woman.” We should not allow society to have a voice on how we look, feel or define our beauty. Many women deal with low self-esteem because what they see in magazines. However, Beyonce Knowles song Pretty Hurts discuss the standards society places on our beauty but we have to be willing to understand beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. It is time for us to look in the mirror and remove the mask of the wrong self-image of who we are to kindly replace it with an image of how we define beauty. Beauty has no face it is truly established by what we say, see and speak about ourselves. Let us strive to replace our negative views with positive affirmations of our own personal beauty because in the end beauty truly has no face!
Essence Magazine May Issue
Often times people never embrace love because they believe they never deserve it. ~Stylicia~
It has been a little while since I have written on my blog however, life can sometimes be consuming but in my consumed state growth was happening. I learned some important life lessons that have challenged me and made me a better woman. In the last five months I have noticed a difference in myself and recognize the woman I am becoming daily. I realize in my growth process I was confronted with the issue of learning to no longer be scared of love. For so long I have been accustomed to dodging love, making excuses and believing I did not deserve to be loved. I spent many years believing I was not worthy of someone loving me because of my imperfections. Every romantic relationship I had ended up with me being alone; this was never the picture I painted or fantasized about. However, this year I got tired of doing love my way and told God I would give my love life and dating life over to him. I made a decision to focus more on my dreams and aspirations to live my life more abundantly. I am a firm believer you can have it all the career, the man and the prosperity but it will mean patience is defintely required for the journey. Once I made a decision to stop looking for love and let love find me I became a happier soul. In my journey of living life abundantly I realized today I was no longer scared to love, the fear of love was no longer a fear. I was no longer scared to be transparent or vulnerable and love the man that will be compatible for me.
I had to learn the truth about the power of loving myself unconditionally. When you understand that love is attracted to you because it is who you are then love will not be hard to attract. As the months slip by in 2013 I am becoming more aware of how beautiful love is and can be. As a woman I have learned the secret of attracting love from a man is learning to love yourself and treat yourself with respect and unconditional love. I never felt like love was as close to me as it is now in my life. I understand who is the ultimate source of love—God. God is love. Love is fulfilling and incredible when you understand its power, its virtue and how much you deserve love. I started to affirm myself by being aware of how much I needed to love myself before anyone else could love me. Today, I challenge you to look at love differently and challenge your love walk for yourself. Do you love you for all of who you are..whether good or bad? What are the negative things you are saying to yourself about love? Do you fear love? If you answered Yes to any of these questions today is the day you tell yourself “I Deserve Love”. It’s time to break up with the false fearful image of love and affirm to yourself boldly: “I am love, I deserve love, I will not rush, force, manipulate or be deseparate or needy for love. I will be patient with love and prepare myself for love by loving myself first.” The best example of love is godly love when Jesus died on the cross for you. Understand love is patient, kind, and all other things 1 Corinthians chapter 13 discusses. It is time for you to get a better realtionship with love by understanding you deserve to be loved.
Love Yourself First Then Love Can Love On You…..
Personal Challenge: Write Yourself a love letter!