The Beauty of Being Yourself

beauty

In 2003, I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like myself. I had to confront the fact that who I was pretending to be was making others happy but making me feel unhappy. My world was falling apart because I was collapsing on the inside. I had no clue to who I was because I spent too much time running from myself. If you ever felt like this it is time to face the inner turmoil and heal.

As an ex-people pleaser, I realize how saying yes was my favorite addiction. It was hard for me to say no to people because I desired to make other people like me. However, I realize making others happy cost me a peace of mind. It takes courage to step out of the crowd and be different. Our differences are what make us beautiful, flaws, and all.

Here is the link to listen to this episode on The Inspirational Corner Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WowJvLuKyuI

 

 

The Journey…

Journey

I can attest to the colloquialism of life that it is a journey not a destination. Life is filled with unexpected detours, stop signs, roadblocks, turning lanes and much more. However, in the midst of it all, life is an adventure. In order to live the adventure you mustn’t resist the lessons it has to offer.

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I have spent almost a decade trying to adjust to a new life since I left the military in 2008. The journey has been filled with ups and downs but it has equipped me to gain sea legs to weather the storm. I have come to the realization that life is filled with Alice and The Wonderland moments. Every time I tried to resist the ebb and flow of life I would wipe out like a person learning how to surf for the first time.

When you are open to the journey of life it will reveal serendipitous moments. These moments will lead you to your destiny. Your destiny may lead you to great adventures and opportunities. Life is not made for the person who love comfort zones instead it challenges you to get out your comfort zone. Comfort zones are security blankets that keep you stagnant.

Stagnancy leads to a life filled with no adventure, boredom, fear and lack. Lack creates a feeling of dissatisfaction which leads to discontentment. As you muddle through your journey be flexible in the ways that life will unfold.

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Beauty For Ashes!

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,3and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

                                                                         (Isaiah 61:2,3 NIV)

In the last eight years my life has been  filled with pain, loss and a lot of hellish moments. I went from living life like the Jeffersons to Good Times. I went from depending on the world as my source to understanding God is my source. I went from being religious to finding a deeper  spiritual connection with God. I went from pleasing everyone else to understanding the power of self-care. 

I had a lot of friends but, as I grew I began to downsize. I went from not recognizing my worth to knowing my worth. I went from undervaluing my gift to valuing my gift. I use to have low self-esteem now I am confident & realize what I deserve. I needed other people to validate my life now I live my life according to my own rules with God’s approval. I found myself minding everyone else business until I learned the power in minding my own business. 

Recently, this year I went through the loss of a family member. I cannot say I am fully recovered but I gave myself time to step back & heal my way. I believe in the power of rising above challenges because what you go through grows you. 

 I strive to be my true self no longer rejecting parts of myself to make other people feel comfortable. In this time in my life I am okay with the woman I am becoming.  I decided to take control of my life, be happy and  make adjustments along the way.

There are six valuable lessons I learned in my life :

1) You cannot do anything without God. If you think you can I guarantee you will be miserable. I know because I tried this method already.

2) Stop comparing yourself to others because you are you. When you start focusing on your own life you become happier and realize how blessed you really are in life. 

3) Other opinions do not matter. People have the right to express themselves anyway they want but try not to take other people opinions personal. You do not need other people to validate you. 

4) Superhero Syndrome. I use to feel like I had to save everyone and go out of my way to make sure they were okay. However, I found out it is not meant for me to save everyone. The people the Lord put in my path are the ones I am assigned too. 

5) Heal Your Way. Do not let people tell you how to grieve. Give yourself time to heal properly. It is okay not to be okay.

6) Let God In. God is a gentleman if you want him to be apart of your life He will be. He is just waiting for you to invite him in.
My life is a constant journey but in my journey the Lord has constantly gave me beauty for my life ashes.

Until Next Time Live Bold. Live Loud. Live Authentically. 

Be Bold.

In the rawest state I could finally see myself, my true self. No longer hiding behind weave extensions, braids or whatever I thought gave me beauty. I wanted to get back to the real me….the short hair me.

For as long as I known short hair has become a signature statement for me. I remember the first time the scissors hit my head at the young age of 15 in Detroit, where hair is a muse and a statement piece. I realized how much I identified with my short hair and how it gave me a boldness, sexiness and confidence to walk to the beat of my own drum.

Everytime I would try to grow my hair it really never worked out because I was always compelled to return to what really moved my soul…my short hair. I dated different guys who wanted me to grow my hair long and I attempted to do it; however, I never could fully commit to letting it grow. I found out that when you try to change the essence of who you are to please a man, society or whoever you lose your true identity.

So, again I found myself on this journey of growth, letting my hair grow back from an undercut hairstyle. This time I was seriously growing it back for myself because I wanted to have long hair. But I started to become tired of the weave extensions, weight being added to me. I did not want to hide anymore then there came an epiphany.

Guess what? Yep, I am sure you figured it out, I cut my hair again this year. I feel free, sexier, bolder and a little more confident to be me. I made a vow to myself to stop omitting pieces of myself, the things that make me who I am. I am proud to be a woman who can rock short hair. I believe short hair is beautiful and reveals the true beauty of a woman. Short hair is my natural state of being.

Recently, I read Alicia Key’s open letter on Lenny Letter  it was very inspiring as she discussed how she went through an evolution of letting go of the stereotypical ideas of beauty. She no longer wanted to hide behind all the things that made her different yet beautiful. I loved the letter because it resounded with my soul. We live in a society where being different can sometimes be looked down upon because being different is viewed as abnormal.

As I grow I have become bold in my conviction of being true to myself and not fitting into the status quo. Even, in love relationships I refuse to shrink who I am to be with a man who doesn’t love me for me. It has taken me a very long time to start loving myself and I can no longer comprise myself for the sake of others. I am aware that I matter; my happiness, peace of mind, my life and decisions matter. I can no longer settle for pieces of myself I need the whole version of me. When I show up whole then people are challenged to accept themselves too.

Tweet: Being bold is an act of bravery saying “this is who I am, take it or leave it”!

Reference: 
http://www.lennyletter.com/style/a410/alicia-keys-time-to-uncover/

Create Your Fabulous Life!

I believe it is important to have a life that you are proud of when you start to reflect on all the things you accomplished in it. So often, people live to work instead of work to live. Their life is consumed with a monotonous routine of misery. They stop believing in living their dream and work becomes slavery. In the back of their minds they want more but fear the reality of not being able to pursue what they initially love. 

I can vividly remember the day I wanted to get out the rate race and start living a life that was more genuine to the person I wanted to be. I was tired of running after a paycheck week after week just to end up with nothing left to show for it. Once I began to pursue what I love my load became lighter and I became a lot happier. Since, the beginning of this year I decided to fearlessly pursue my dream and create the lifestyle I always desired. In the pursuit of living a fabulous life it has challenged me to believe in myself, have faith that God will provide and know living my purpose and passion is important. When you decide to start living your dream and stop fearing the unknown understand their will be opposition but the more you pursue the life you really want the closer your purpose will align in your life.

If you are tired of living an ordinary life and truly want to know the power in creating a fabulous life check out the tips below to help you on your journey.

1. Make A Decision. Don’t be indecisive have the courage to make the decision to let go of your miserable life to embrace the life you want.

2. Tread Slowly. Once you make a practical decision that you want a better life get a plan to work towards your goal. Make an effort to work on your goals daily and make sure you take the time to write them down. Create a realistic time table to complete each goal.

3. Be Quiet. Don’t announce your decision immediately. Take the time to skillfully complete everything on your list before you announce the decision to the people that will be effected by it. 

4. Be Fearless. We all fear things but it is moving in spite of the fear that will help you conquer it. No matter how much your fear the unknown move in the pursuit of your fabulous life no matter what.

5. Vision Boards Do Work. After you have written the vision make an effort to post the vision before you. Create a vision board to represent the life you desire, you can also do a vision board party to make it fun. 


In order to create a fabulous life you need the confidence to believe you can accomplish it. If you want a boost of self-confidence check out my newly released eBook here: http://www.theinspirationalcorner.net/p/ebooks.html 

5 Ways To Be A Fierce Woman

In the Webster Dictionary fierce is described as an intense or aggressive demeanor however, if I was to define fierce it would be defined as a person that displays bravery, confidence and determination. When I think about the characteristics of being a fierce woman I am often reminded of women like Angela Bassett, First Lady Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, Sarah Jessica Parker and Julia Roberts. These women display a quality of elegance and fierceness to me. Below are five essential tips that embodies a fierce woman.

5 Ways To Be Fierce

1) Let Your Mess Be Your Message. As women we have evolved and with that evolution it is important that we don’t play the victim role but allow our scars to save someone else . I believe our mess is our message to assist someone else on their journey. 

2) Don’t Ask For Permission. A woman of fierce quality live her life on her terms and does not feel the need to broadcast her life. She lives life unapologetically and do what she feels is right for her. She does not look for validation from others or ask for permission. She simply lives her life effortlessly. 

3) Be Kind. A woman who is kind no matter how others treat her exudes self-confidence. She does not let others behavior or attitude kill her positivity. She shows respect to all & quickly disregard others behavior because she understands how others act is a reflection of their own misery.

4) Mystery is Sexy. A fierce woman carries a mystery about herself she does not attract unwanted attention to herself. She does not share her whole life story on social media or to anyone willing to listen. She knows how to mind her own business and understands this is the secret to a life of enjoyment!

5) Listen More. A woman who can just listen attentively without comment is a woman of refinement. It is important to learn to listen to people instead of feeling the need to talk all the time. When you learn to listen to people you will know all the things you need to know about them.

March Theme: Feminine, Fierce & Fabulous!

March is finally here and so is our theme for this month as we celebrate the beauty of being a woman for Women’s History Month. Our theme for this month is Feminine, Fierce & Fabulous. In this series we will discuss things that make women fierce, maintaining your femininity in a male dominated society & creating a fabulous life for yourself. 

5 Tips On Living A Beautiful Life!

How can you really live a beautiful life? What are you willing to let go in order to gain the life you deserve? What are the keys to living a life based on beauty? Well, you are probably wondering what are the answers to those questions. I can honestly tell you that living a beautiful life begins with cultivating a beautiful mind. In the last month, I have focused on filling my life with beautiful things to see, hear & speak. I have spent time celebrating beauty in a different kind of way. 


I decided not to watch, speak or listen to anything that did not display beauty. In this time of beauty I found out that life is a lot more beautiful than what we choose to see, hear or speak. When it comes to living a beautiful life you have to be intentional. If you lack intention you will continue to see, hear and speak about all the things that is wrong with life. As I grow day by day I realize life is what you make it and if you choose to make it miserable then you will be miserable.

Misery loves company, the more you feed it the more it will gain energy. The greatest question you can ask yourself is what am I giving energy to. I found myself in the last couple years giving energy to things that were irrelevant. I made situations bigger than they really were because I invested too much time into over analyzing. I can now honestly say that creating a beautiful life is solely up to each of us. Make a mental inventory of where your your energy is going.  Find out if  the energy has produced the right fruit you desire in your life. If not, refocus on new things that will serve you in a positive way. Everyone deserves a beautiful life so below are a five tips to help you start your journey.

Below are a couple tips to help you live a beautiful life:

1) Stop over analyzing. I can admit this is one of my huge problems and over analyzing creates problems that were never there. In order to stop over analyzing  let go of what you cannot control, stay focus in the present moment and know God is your ultimate source.

2) Be mindful of where your attention goes. Where your attention goes so does the flow of your energy, so be mindful of how you interpret things & react to others. 

3) Other people issues are not your emergencies. Yes, you want to be the hero for everyone but you will exhaust yourself trying to be everyone she-ro or hero. Do not let other people emergencies become emergencies in your life.  

4) Don’t take it personal. I know this is a hard one but stop taking what people say or do personal. What others say or do are not a direct reflection of what or who you are. What they don’t say or don’t do is still not a reflection of the brilliant person you were called to be. Be confident .

5) Self-Love. Fall in love with who & what you are no matter your flaws. In a perfect world we all are flawless but in the real world our imperfections is what makes us unique. 
To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance. ~Oscar Wilde~

P.S. To make your life even more beautiful you can now purchase my eBook to get five essentials tips to help build your self-confidence.  

P.S.S I also listen to podcasts now & here is one I am recommending to you. Click here: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/french-kiss-life-by-tonya/id1071406906

February Theme: Learn, Live & Love!

The month of February is finally here and so is our theme for this month. Our theme for this month is Learn, Live & Love! In this month we are going to learn some valuable lessons, live life in an extraordinary way and love every moment of it. In the month of February we celebrate Valentine’s Day, Black History Month, President’s Day and so many other special days in this month. So, get ready to enjoy each article as we discuss more subjects to help you grow into a better you!

June Series: Beauty, Books & The Beach

In the month of June The Inspirational Corner theme is “Beauty, Books & The Beach”.  As summer quickly makes an appearance we will discuss the books you should have on your summer reading rotation, we will discuss tips to keep you cool & beautiful during the hot summer months. Lastly, we will give you tips on why the beach can be the best place to relax this summer.