The Joy of Minding Your Own Business…

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Have you ever found yourself helping everyone else, trying to fix everyone’s life, or obsessed with controlling what other people do? If so, you have a terrible case of minding other people’s business. There have been plenty of times I found myself trying to be a therapist, life coach, or psychologist to grown adults. My mission was to be the “fixer” in everyone else life instead of tending to my garden. However, I realize I needed to stop being a trash can for other people’s issues. In the end, I was creating codependent relationships.

In my journey of self-evolution and self-discovery, I have found it refreshing to stay focus on my own life. Staying focusing on my own life has helped me work on my relationship with myself. I have become more conscientious of the things that I can expand in my world. Learning to love my life and myself has given me the grace to let go of the thoughts or ideas of worrying about what other people think about me or what they may be doing. When you begin to mind your own business, you will feel lighter. It takes enough energy trying to cope with your life, adding other people’s issues to the equation causes chaos.

I am still on this journey of minding my own business and becoming the best version of myself. It is not an overnight process but a day to day evolution. Worrying about what others are doing, what people think about me, trying to gain people’s acceptance or validation is a waste of time. When you become connected to your inner world and start creating a life you love other people, life will no longer be a concern.

Below are three ways on how you can elegantly enjoy minding your own business:

  1. Disconnect. Unplugging from social media or putting your phone on do not disturb is a great way to focus on the most important person which is…YOU!
  2. Create a life you love. If you are proactive in producing a life you love, you will have less time being consume with other people’s life. You can find a hobby, write a list of all the things you are passionate about or the things you always desire to do.
  3. Drown Out The Noise: Other people’s opinions about who you are, your life and what you do is not your concern. When you know who you are and what you do then other people’s perception is not relevant.

 

1thess411

 

 

Why Being Basic Won’t Do…

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The Corona Virus issue has made us feel so many emotions with the ebb and flow of uncertainty; staying at home has become the new normal. This new normal has caused America to put everything on pause where being still is the cure. Many schools have closed around the world, people are now working from home, and some people no longer have a job. Although it can seem to be an uncomfortable time for the world, confronted with the reality that this is the time to let go of things no longer serve our lives.

In America, we are taught that being busy and living life on auto-pilot is acceptable. We choose to operate in a world encumber with a fast-food mentality, a microwave vision for our lives. The self-quarantine gives everyone a chance to slow down, saunter, and come to a shimmer. We no longer can follow the crowd but is challenged to do something different. I believe in this time of  the shutdown, we will not go back to normal.

This transformation will cause us to become a better version of our self. We can start by self-reflecting in every area of our lives. For me, it has taught me the valuable lesson of living in the present moment.

People’s lives are being transformed because we are now finding our passion, spending time with family, connecting with friends, and doing things we were too busy to do. When the curtain rises off this center stage play we call COVID-19, how will we move forward? Will everyone go back to being “basic” or will we embrace our new normal?

Below are three ways we can release ourselves from the “basic life” to the “extraordinary life.”

1. Write The Vision. While being at home, this is a perfect time to write a plan for yourself to make some changes in your life. (Ex: If you decide to start your business now is the time to create your website, draft a business plan, etc.)

2. Execute. There is no time like the present to start being intention by putting action in your new life. Use this time to start capitalizing on not being at work. (Ex: If you are working from home, let your paycheck build up, so when all this comes to an end, you will have enough saved to live your job.)

3. Live. Before the Corona Virus, many of us were going through the motions of life; however, with the shutdown of social events and going out; we will be more present in our lives. We will have more fun living life versus existing in it.

In the end, I am optimistic the self-quarantine will bring out a better America, where we are healing, there is more joy, peace, kindness & love to spread!

 

Self Care Essentials: Finding Your Zen…

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“What you seek is seeking you.” ~Rumi

In the last month or so my life has been filled with the unknown, I have found myself looking for answers in this unfamiliar place. However, I have learned the answers lie in between the moments of letting go. This entire year I learned the importance of letting go and detachment from things I can’t control. When I let go there is a moment of peace that comes with detaching myself from the outcome. I have learned to be more in tune with my mind, heart and soul.

These moments of zen have taught me the importance of releasing the struggle and embracing the ease. I have spent my entire life in survival mode, trying to stay afloat so the pressures of life would not overtake me. As I was struggling to stay afloat  I found myself drowning from the pressure of trying to keep it all together. I realize now that this facade kept me from becoming free, free from thriving to my fullest potential.

However, when I decided to stop fighting the flow of life things began to fall into place. I was able see things more clearly and implement self-care into my life. Self-care has taught me how to be present in the moment. It has also taught me how to be still, let go and flow in uncomfortable situations. Self-care has been a great teacher in showing me how to reconnect with my true essence.

So, below I have listed self-care essentials to help you find your zen and tap into the peace of mind you deserve.

1.Tea, Anyone? : Green tea and other teas have been linked to having many health benefits. I often drink tea to calm myself when I feel overwhelmed and full of anxiety. My favorite tea is Yogi Tea, this tea has a variety of teas that you can choose from to suit your needs. I often use the bedtime and ginger tea. Another great benefit is they add inspirational quotes on the tea bag label.

2. Candles: Candles can reduce your stress by adding some aromatherapy to your day. Here is a list of the best organic candles on the market Organic Candles

3. Music: Music is a great way to cultivate some calm in your everyday life. BMG Channel on YouTube is a great channel to listen to it has a variety of music for studying, relaxing etc.

4. Whoosah: Meditation is a great way to bring calm into your mind. The Calm App is an app I have used for years. It has various programs to help you get into your calm.

5. Selah: Taking time to hit pause in your life is a way to stop and listen to your inner self. Pause help you clear the noise, clear the clutter & reconnect with yourself.

So, which self-care essential will you use this holiday season ?, share your thoughts in the comment section!

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

When you look at a rock you see nothing exciting or beautiful about its features. A rock has no human form, people would consider it to be cold and aloof.  Yet a rock is apart of God’s creation just like a flower. However, we may say that a flower is more beautiful than a rock because of the outside features.

Nonetheless, just like a rock some people are hard on the outside yet beauty lies within. You never know what transpired in their life to make them bitter. Their bitterness is an accessory expressing their hurt.

I remember a period in my life where I accessorize bitterness. My heart was harden by traumatic experiences that happened. I was tired of life disappointing me over and over again. So, I created walls around my heart. I thought if I became emotionally unavailable then I would not get hurt. My elusive behavior kept me from love & fully living.

As I look back on my life I realize I was who I needed to be at that time. I understand that regretting who I was in the past does not serve me. I was raw, flawed and me. Those who saw me as a mess didn’t understand I was a rough draft. My blueprint of greatness was still pending.

Many times we judge ourselves for the raw version of who we are instead of being gentle with ourselves. When you are raw it forces you to be real; unrefined and unpolished. For instance, when a new singer produce their first album it is appealing because their vocals are unfiltered. Once they become commercialized they lose their authenticity; the record label want them to go with an image or sound that sells records versus talent. Growth is a beautiful thing but I never want to lose the thing that makes me relatable.

So, I urge you to be raw, be flawed & be you even if it is ugly right now. Don’t regret the rough draft you are at this moment. As you pursue a better version of yourself you will begin to peel back the blueprint so people can see you….the masterpiece!

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The End of An Era……

The End of An Era

Wow, I can’t believe next week Sunday is my birthday. My 30’s journey has been a beautiful evolution of “self”. I have been able to spend the years of my thirties facing issues of my past, closing the door to my past, making intentional changes to my life and most of all becoming the woman I desire to be.

As a single mom I have endured many hardships and personal setbacks but my 30’s have been my years of reflection, refreshing, starting over again and creating the life I desire.

I have become comfortable in my own skin. I love the woman I have evolved into at this point in my life. However, I know the journey is a continuous process. I am excited about my future ahead.

Since, I am commemorating the last year of my 30’s, I am sharing 39 lessons with you I learned during my 30’s journey.

Here are the 39 lessons I learned in my 30’s:
1. Confidence. Confidence is something that starts within & it is something you work on everyday.
2. No validation needed. You are grown,stop asking for permission.
3. No is a complete sentence. Stop explaining yourself.
4. Mind your own business. It never matters what others are doing. Stay focused on your life.
5. No deprivation. Stop depriving yourself of the things you love & desire.
6. Know Your Worth. You have to know your worth to know what you deserve then you will stop giving discounts to people who undermine your quality.
7. Self-care is important. Self-care is about preservation. You have to put it into practice for all areas of your life (mental, emotional, financial, physical & spiritual).
8. Trust God. 
9. Get out your own way.
10. Ask for help.
11. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can.
12. Stop procrastinating.
13. Do it afraid.
14. Get out your comfort zone.
15. Be your own best friend.
16. Speak up. You have a voice use it.
17. Stop chasing. You don’t have to chase a man, friends, people or dreams. All the things meant for you will come at the right time.
18. Travel somewhere new. 
19. Date yourself.
20. Believe in yourself.
21. Do what is best for you.
22. Be unapologetic about your greatness.
22. Set boundaries.
23. Spend time with those that celebrate you not tolerate you.
24. Celebrate yourself.
25. Be patience.
26. Saunter through life.
27. Let things flow.
28. Detach yourself from the outcome.
29. Stop the comparison. When you learn to value your life you will feel no need to compare your life to others.
30. Have faith.
31. Smile often, Laugh more.
32. Have fun. Include more bliss, pleasure & enjoyment in your life.
33. Be ok with not being ok.
34. Be vulnerable.
35. Live life. Don’t just exist live your life alive.
36. Reinvent yourself.
37. Reflect.
38. Pursue your dreams. No matter how old you are you can always pursue the things you desire.
39. Be limitless. Don’t put limitations on your life.

The Antidote (Part 2)

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Last month on January 16th, I released my first ever short story series entitled, The Antidote. I am happy to announce that part two is availableIf you did not get a chance to download part one  go to this link: https://tinyurl.com/yb72u7om 

Go to this link to get your copy for part twohttps://payhip.com/b/Qe4w

 

 

Hygge for the Holidays…..

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Slowing down……such a foreign concept to me for several years until I settled down in the south. As a single mom slowing down is a challenge everyday because there is always something to do on the checklist. However, in the last two years I have been challenged to slow down and really embrace the present moment. The present moment is crystallized by focusing on the now. The “now” moments are the moments we can never gain back. If this is true, then why do we rush through one event to the next?

Lately, I have been intrigued with going a lot slower in my everyday life. It has made a big difference in my mindset. Although, the holidays are here I am truly embracing slow motion. In my pursuit of this new lifestyle I have came across the word hygge (hoo-gah) practiced by the Danish culture. This lifestyle is a Danish concept that has been popping up everywhere I go. I can’t remember exactly where I heard it but I have been researching a little deeper about this concept. For a long time there was no formal definition for this word however, more Americans have become aware of this concept.

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The holidays is great time to practice this Danish concept especially since Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner. I don’t believe in putting concepts in a box so you have the power to rearrange it the way it fits your life. For example, hygge to me is drinking hot cocoa, tea or wine during the winter months, watching a movie, reading a book and spending some quality time with my daughter.

No matter what concept, tradition or non-tradition you practice slowing down and enjoying the moment should be apart of your daily regiment.

Here is a book I am currently reading check it out in Stylicia’s Reads.

Creating A Life You Love…

I spent years playing the game of comparison wishing my life would magically change. I was not aware of the fact that I had the power to change my life. The choice lied within one simple decision that I needed to make. 

Below is a list of ways you can create the life you love.

1. Be grateful.

2. Create a routine.

3. Break your routine.

4. Write down your goals.

5. Write down your dreams.

6. Be intentional.

7. Make a list of what you love to do.

8. Start doing what you love.

9. Be fearless.

10. Be kind.

11. Love more.

12. Be spontaneous.

13. Make yourself a priority.

14. Implement a self-care routine.

15. Be productive not busy.

16. Meditate.

17. Pray.

18. Read more.

19. Smile more.

20. Look for serendipitous moments.

21. Be confident.

22. Spend money on things you love.

23. Make new friends.

24. Spend time with your loved ones.

25. Celebrate your life.

26. Say No often.

27. Don’t  explain yourself to others.

28. Stop seeking validation.

29. Mind your own business.

30. Cultivate a sacred space for yourself.

31. Be mysterious.

32. Travel more.

33. Laugh Often.

34. Delete some people & things in your life.

35. Add some things & people in your life.


 

 

Cultivating A Sacred Space….

During this summer, I had time to press pause and learn to create a sacred space  for myself. In my 60 day journey I became aware of my depletion because  I was giving to others on an empty tank.  I felt like I was not enough or what I was doing was not enough. In a society where we pour out so much of our energy to our jobs, family and friends we have to create time to replenish ourselves.

In my  search for a better solution I was hit with the idea that who I am is enough. I had to give up the need for validation from outside sources. In reality, God was the only approving source I needed to accomplish everything in my life. He already approved of me so I no longer needed to ask for permission to be the woman I was meant to be.

I realized I needed to cultivate a sacred space to allow myself to be me. I had to let go of my self-sabotaging nature and embrace my freedom. When I searched for  clarity I knew I was the one getting in my own way. I had to reclaim my time, walk into my freedom and protect my space. This was the ultimate shift I needed in my life to receive all the  great things I deserved.

So, below I have three tips that can help you cultivate a sacred space to up level in your life.

1) Reclaim Your Time. In order  for you to gain clarity you have to stop what you are doing and make a u-turn. Go back to a point in your life where you felt fulfilled and then reassess what made you feel this way. Now think of a time in your life where you began to feel unfulfilled and you felt depleted. Think about what you were doing to create these feelings of emptiness. Reclaiming your time is about going back and pinpointing the day or moment you began to lose pieces of yourself.

2) Protect Your Space. You do not need to create a PSA for everyone to know every detail happening in your life. The greatest thing to do is be silent and figure out what is really meant for you to keep secrete. I am learning everything I endure is not always meant for me to share.

I find joy in creating special moments for myself without documenting them or discussing them with friends and family. This will help you keep intimate thoughts and moments to yourself. Another suggestion is buy a journal to release your thoughts, whether good or bad there will be no judgment because you have left your thoughts on paper.

3) Walk into your freedom. The greatest way to be free is to already know you are free. Create a time & space for yourself where you are free to do what you want without any other obligations.

Picking up a hobby that is fun will give you the freedom to focus on time just for you. It will allow you to create a space to let go and dive into your creativity.

How can you create a sacred space to regain your power back? And which tip will you work on this week.

Share your thoughts below in the comment section!

 

Redesign Your Life…

For the last eight months, I have been diligently redesigning and repairing my home. It was my goal to create a home that I loved.  At the end of last year, I went to visit a friend in Virginia. She lived in a beautiful loft located across from a private beach. I truly fell in love with the ambiance of her home. I knew she had an admiration for the beach life and so she brought the essence of that lifestyle to her home.

I was truly inspired by her home. She encouraged me to surround my home with all the things I love. When I came back from my week of vacation I began to do the work to turn my house into a home I adored.

I remember when I spent years  jumping on the road visiting friends and family because my house was just a place to sleep, eat and dwell. However, this year I began to change my perception about my house and decided to implement the things I love in my home. Since, I have been on this journey of redesigning  my home I don’t feel the need to run away from it anymore. I enjoy the process of redesigning a home that screams elegance. I love a home filled with beautiful things especially peace, luxury and love.

In the process of upgrading my home I realize my life has shifted. I am learning not to settle for things that I don’t love. I also learned that I am worthy to live the life I desire and become the woman I want to be.

In this sudden shift my life has taken me on a better path. I choose to cultivate  relationships and friendships that are mutually beneficial. I am more in tune with designing a career, home and life I love versus settling for a life I just exist in momentarily.

I believe our homes are a representation of our life. I have found that my life is being reinvented along with my home.

Below are a couple things you can do to redesign your home that reflects a shift in your life.

1. Clear Your Closet. Get rid of clothes you no longer wear or love. As you evolve your wardrobe evolves as well.

2. Organize the clutter. When you begin to organize the clutter you will gain more clarity in your life.

3. Add Gold. According to Ashlina Kaposta, interior designer & blogger of The Decorista Blog, says “adding metallics in your home office illuminates your money making energy”. Check out her blog: http://tinyurl.com/ycxgzkl8

4. Move. For years my life was a mirror image of my home, the same old routines in my life with my house decorated the same way for 9 years. However, rearranging some things in my house help me freshen up my life routine.

5. Make a list. Think about all the things you love and make a list to implement those things in your home. For example I love books so I created a small bookbasket under my desk to hold my books & journals.

Which one will you pick to work on this week? Share your comments below.