The End of An Era……

The End of An Era

Wow, I can’t believe next week Sunday is my birthday. My 30’s journey has been a beautiful evolution of “self”. I have been able to spend the years of my thirties facing issues of my past, closing the door to my past, making intentional changes to my life and most of all becoming the woman I desire to be.

As a single mom I have endured many hardships and personal setbacks but my 30’s have been my years of reflection, refreshing, starting over again and creating the life I desire.

I have become comfortable in my own skin. I love the woman I have evolved into at this point in my life. However, I know the journey is a continuous process. I am excited about my future ahead.

Since, I am commemorating the last year of my 30’s, I am sharing 39 lessons with you I learned during my 30’s journey.

Here are the 39 lessons I learned in my 30’s:
1. Confidence. Confidence is something that starts within & it is something you work on everyday.
2. No validation needed. You are grown,stop asking for permission.
3. No is a complete sentence. Stop explaining yourself.
4. Mind your own business. It never matters what others are doing. Stay focused on your life.
5. No deprivation. Stop depriving yourself of the things you love & desire.
6. Know Your Worth. You have to know your worth to know what you deserve then you will stop giving discounts to people who undermine your quality.
7. Self-care is important. Self-care is about preservation. You have to put it into practice for all areas of your life (mental, emotional, financial, physical & spiritual).
8. Trust God. 
9. Get out your own way.
10. Ask for help.
11. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can.
12. Stop procrastinating.
13. Do it afraid.
14. Get out your comfort zone.
15. Be your own best friend.
16. Speak up. You have a voice use it.
17. Stop chasing. You don’t have to chase a man, friends, people or dreams. All the things meant for you will come at the right time.
18. Travel somewhere new. 
19. Date yourself.
20. Believe in yourself.
21. Do what is best for you.
22. Be unapologetic about your greatness.
22. Set boundaries.
23. Spend time with those that celebrate you not tolerate you.
24. Celebrate yourself.
25. Be patience.
26. Saunter through life.
27. Let things flow.
28. Detach yourself from the outcome.
29. Stop the comparison. When you learn to value your life you will feel no need to compare your life to others.
30. Have faith.
31. Smile often, Laugh more.
32. Have fun. Include more bliss, pleasure & enjoyment in your life.
33. Be ok with not being ok.
34. Be vulnerable.
35. Live life. Don’t just exist live your life alive.
36. Reinvent yourself.
37. Reflect.
38. Pursue your dreams. No matter how old you are you can always pursue the things you desire.
39. Be limitless. Don’t put limitations on your life.

Life Is An Adventure….

adventure

At the end of 2017,  I learned a valuable lesson concerning the complexity of life. The lesson taught me to embrace all the things life has to offer. It is easy for us to celebrate the good things but can we rejoice in tribulation.

Everything we endure in life is meant to help us grow and expand our horizon. True, sometimes the difficult times make it hard to celebrate. But when life brings unexpected moments we have to realize the messy parts make life interesting.

The messy parts challenge us to see our lives as a perfect masterpiece curated by God. As our lives are designed by every path we begin to understand that it is an adventure.

Life’s adventures gives us the passion to experience each moment. Instead of rushing through the moments we start to saunter. Sauntering ignites self-awareness; being present in the moment. When we are totally present our senses become alive.

Whether good or bad life is an adventure worth experiencing. Without the experiences life beomes mundane. So, if your life seems hopeless right now just remember your next adventure is waiting. All you have to do is embrace it and enjoy the ride!

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A Seat At The Table…

Table

In a world full of people pleasers it is refreshing to be yourself. When you choose to be yourself magic happens in your life. You no longer settle for mediocrity but you embrace the extraordinary. It will ignite a spark in you to do life in a different way.

Fireworks are created when you no longer follow the crowd but decide to become the life of your own party. When you choose to walk in your power everyone will not accept you. However, learning to be you bravely takes courage.

In this journey you will understand that everyone will not get an invitation to the party of your life. The people you use to entertain will no longer get a seat to the table. You will  gravitate towards people who empower, inspire and encourage you. They will be the ones who become your tribe because you deserve a life filled with those celebrating your existence.

So, today I encourage you to reevaluate the people you have seating at the table of your life. Ask yourself this, “Is this person celebrating me or tolerating me?” You deserve the support, love and joy you give freely to everyone else.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts so chime in below!

 

Fashion Interview with Abi Ishola, Creator of Beyond Classically Beautiful

As we close out our series entitled the Three F’s: Feminism, Fitness & Fashion this week we will focus on Fashion. In this post I had the pleasure to interview Abi Ishola, the creator of Beyond Classically Beautiful. She is also the creator of  Script & Sightings and making big moves in her industry.


The Inspirational Corner: It is such a pleasure to interview you and connect with you. I was captivated by your movement when I stumbled upon your profile through Twitter. Thank You for being our Fashion feature.


Abi Ishola: Your Welcome!

The Inspirational Corner: For people who do not know who you are please give us an idea of who you are and your business?

Abi Ishola: My name is Abi Ishola.  I’m the creator of ScriptsandSightings.com, a style blog that covers people of color.  I’m also the creator of Beyond Classically Beautiful, a new beauty movement that started as a photo story to celebrate the diverse beauty of black women.  The idea for the project came to me after the New York Times referred to Viola Davis as “less classically beautiful” than lighter skinned black actresses.

The Inspirational Corner: This movement is powerful and truly needed for African American women of all shades. What was the concept behind your fashion brand and why was it important to convey this concept?

Abi Ishola: The concept behind my brand is capturing real people who own their unique style and beauty as they move about in the world.  Street style and my writing are the main focuses (hence the title, Scripts and Sightings). It’s also a space where I highlight style and art projects I produce, such as Beyond Classically Beautiful. It was important for me to convey that concept because it is the kind of blog I would want to visit.  I want it to be a source of inspiration and thought for people.  It’s not just about highlighting fierce style.  The goal is to celebrate black people in all of our glory.

The Inspirational Corner: We live in a world where fashion is consistently defined by outer appearance, how would you define fashion and why?


Abi Ishola:Fashion and style are a way of life.  The way we dress usually determines how we feel about ourselves on any given day.  It also gives the people around us an idea of who we feel we are.  It is truly an expression that speaks louder than words.


The Inspirational Corner: Where do you draw your inspiration from when it comes to fashion and beauty?


Abi Ishola: I draw inspiration from my friends.  I draw inspiration from my family. I draw inspiration from New York City and all its highs and lows.  I also draw inspiration from the beautiful brown women I encounter everyday.  There’s nothing like seeing a beautiful black woman moving about, looking confidant, and owning her style.


The Inspirational Corner: As a woman how important is fashion to you and how do you utilize your own personal fashion into your fashion business?


Abi Ishola: Before I started my blog I went through a period of not really following fashion.  A part of me thinks I lost myself in that sense. I maintained a cool and polished appearance, but I lost my passion to push the envelope when it comes to style. I moved to New York City to pursue a career in the fashion world and I worked in the industry years ago.  I left the fashion world with somewhat of a bitter taste in my mouth.  So I think as time went on, I also lost my passion for shopping, reading magazines, and following the who’s who in fashion.  But after I had my daughter, I rediscovered my love for expression through dress.  There’s something about becoming a mother that reignites you in every way. So now I use my brand as inspiration to reacquaint myself with the fashion world, but on my terms, and embrace a rebirth of my personal style.


The Inspirational Corner: Who is your favorite fashion designer and why?


Abi Ishola: I really don’t have a favorite fashion designer when it comes to what I choose to wear.  I wear what I like no matter who made it.  However, I do admire the work of Alexander McQueen.  He was a true artist.  His work was complicated, dark at times, yet beautiful.  He was a true visionary.


The Inspirational Corner: Do you believe your fashion brand has impacted the world around and why?


Abi Ishola: I’m so pleased with the response to ScriptsandSightings.com .  I also believe I’ve made an impact through my latest project, Beyond Classically Beautiful.  The response to the project has been awesome.  It was received well by the press.  But the best part is that so many women reached out to me and simply said thank you for representing us.  I treasure that.


The Inspirational Corner: What fashion legacy do you plan to build?


Abi Ishola: I want to build a legacy of being a champion for black women.


The Inspirational Corner: The Inspirational Corner slogan is Live Bold. Live Loud. Live Authentically. How are you living bold, loud & authentically?


Abi Ishola: I’m living bold, loud, and authentically because I’m living a purposeful life.  I’m also allowing myself to take risks and let the chips fall where they may.  Most importantly, I’m using my fears to push me closer to my goals.


The Inspirational Corner: What would be your advice for those who have a desire to have their own fashion business or brand?


Abi Ishola: Begin today, take risks, and have fun!


For more info on Abi Ishola go to :

Website: http://scriptsandsightings.com 

Instagramhttps://instagram.com/aishola 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/aishola

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abiishola?ref=hl

Mindset Ready For 2015!

 

In a small remote corner I sit listening to quietness as I begin to collect my thoughts to write this post. I was thirsty to write for the last couple of days but it seems as if distractions would get in my way. So, today I finally committed to writing a post before 2014 slips quietly in the background. Every year I plan my New Year’s Eve getaway with my daughter but this year I find myself in a holding pattern simply resting for this New Year’s Eve festive. My daughter was not happy that we were going to be staying home this year.

However, I always spend my life chasing the next adventure. It seems fitting to sit still and bring in the new year in a meditative state. I enjoy traveling yet if I am always moving how can I began to hear God’s plans for my life. This year I am going to be vegging out with a friend and watching movies while our kids enjoy each other company. I even suggested to my friend that we could write our future self a letter declaring our greatness for the year ahead. I believe this will cultivate a new beginning for our lives.

Many people are declaring 2015 is their year but I am fed up with the clichés and just want to produce results in 2015. We constantly make vision boards year after year but refuse to change our mindsets. We fail to realize if our mind is not made up to live different or experience anything new then every year will be the same until we change our mind. In order for 2015 to be a new year it will be important to renew your mindset. I believe writing a letter to my future self will start 2015 in a forward motion. Whatever, your ritual or holiday tradition is to bring in the New Year I challenge you to take a couple hours to clear your mind and become intentional about creating the life you want for 2015. As you become intentional make plans to follow through with completing them to make 2015 the best year of your life!

My Year of Jubilee, My Year of Celebrating Me!

 
I decided to take a whole year from October 1st 2013 to Oct 1st 2014 to focus on celebrating myself holistically. I realize as women we do not celebrate our accomplishments enough while we cater to so many other people we have to choose to cater to ourselves. I believe we lose sight of who we are because we put ourselves on the backburner supporting everyone else dreams. In this year I will celebrate who I am to the fullest. I am honored and excited to be in the November 2013 issue of Essence Magazine on pg. 14 defining my thoughts on black beauty. Get your copy today!
 
 


Color Outside The Lines!

Sometimes I wonder do people really understand how boring their life truly is in essence. They never change the routine but live life on pause replaying the same events over and over. They watch avidly while everyone around them is living outside of the comfort zone.  Social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter etc. is the only place they socially interact with facades of people; instead of looking for more genuine human connection. No one seeks to live a boring life however, I believe we get consumed with life. Instead of us living life we allow life to live us.  We become plagued with boredom and hoping someone would rescue us from a life of mediocrity . Bitterness and envy plagues the heart, mind and soul because you are not living but merely existing in life. How can you change the channel from boring to a life filled with excitement and social one on one connection? Well, it does not happen overnight you have to be willing to live life on edge.

Two weeks ago my friend from New York called me proclaiming she was coming to visit me in the spur of the moment. It had been two years since we last seen each other. We have been friends since 1999 where we met at our first Navy duty station. In both of our journeys we have grown, matured and became new women. However, I did not know how much her visit would impact me. When she came to visit me I was challenged to think outside of the box in order to incorporate some fun activities and sightseeing while she was here. Nonetheless, we had a great time sightseeing and embracing new adventures. It was great to get out of the same routine of life. When she left I reflected on what I learned from her being here. I recognized how boring my life had become even though I have always been a woman of adventure. I had a different thirst for life after she boarded the plane to get back to her life. I knew I could not go back to the same BORING routine in my life I needed to step out of the shadows and make plans to live it up. 

Life circumstances can paralyze your ability to rest, relax and enjoy life. Life is filled with simplicity yet we add our own complications to it. I wanted to stop settling for a boring life. I decided to trade in my training wheels for my BIG girl wheels. Life has too many adventures for me to sit just to watch them go by. We only have one chance to live an unforgettable life. In order to make it unforgettable you have to be willing to dance to the beat of your own drum and be you without limitations. I was the first one to take the step out of the boat to test the waters and to find the essence of life. In my findings I understand the fun in living outside the lines. The most essential key to live a more lively life is color outside the lines of routine. The same is routine is BORING! I charge you today to “Color outside the lines!”

10 Lessons From The FLOTUS on Ladyhood & Femininity


Lesson 1: Be a confident woman

Lesson 2: Wear your clothes do not let them wear you!

Lesson 3: Be bold without making excusing for who you are, No validations needed.

Lesson 4: Your beauty is timeless do not force your presence.
Lesson 5: A woman does not have to act like a man to be a woman of wisdom. Act like a lady, think like a lady & embrace your feminine nature.
Lesson 6: Do not try to fit in be the woman God created you to be.
Lesson 7: Its ok to be emotional we are women, lets show our femininity. 
Lesson 8: This is a man’s world but without the woman it would be nothing. (James Brown song)
Lesson 9: Be a lady at all times, know your worth & walk as the queen you are!
Lesson 10: Embrace your faith, dismiss drama & speak less. Let your presence be a sounding trumpet. Less is more!

5 Lessons Learned Through Life, Love & Friendship!

As the year comes to an end I reflect on how much has happen this year in my life. I realize all the things have worked out for the better even when I had no concept of why they happen. I learned valuable lessons from growing in life, loving myself unconditionally and redefining the word friend after a 14 year friendship ended. All of these things made me stronger, wiser and better. Each high and low point in my life challenged me to reevaluate myself, work on my personal issues and move forward. In 2012  I have learned to stop reminiscing on the past, holding on to pain and understand the power of forgiveness. I want to share with you five powerful lessons I have learned on my new journey as I embrace the new me…New Faces, Places & Spaces!



Lessons Learned on Love…

1) Love Yourself First (Unconditionally flaws and all), Forgive Yourself and Heal Yourself
Love is powerful but if you do not know how to love yourself you can never reciprocate that love to someone else totally. This year I have learned to immerse myself into loving myself in all areas of my life mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. I have been challenged to take time to get to know what I want, what I like and accomplishing my goals. The most powerful lesson I learned was to stop putting myself on the back burner and learning to put myself on the front row. I found out I deserve the best of everything because I believe in my ability to go farther than I could imagine. I had to realize the only limitation that was holding me back was my mindset and the words I spoke about my life. I know now I am powerful beyond measure and only want to attract those who are positive and moving forward in great strides. 

2) Love Will Find You….
After exiting a four year relationship with a man that was not the one for me I realized love will find you & you do not have to be desperate to find it. The ending of this relationship help me begin my authentic journey helping me understand the reason I attracted the same type of men. It had nothing to do with them but it was me who had to deal with my own inner issues. I have been on my authentic journey for almost 2 yrs now and it has been a great journey. I feel refreshed, renewed and reborn. I can truly say I am a new me and have a new found love for myself. I understand the importance of self love, enjoying being single and creating the life I desire….I have an new attitude about living life which is…I am living life and not waiting to have a man or get married to live life to the fullest!

Lessons Learned on Life

 3) Life is what you create it to be…..
I use to complain and hate where I lived but now I realize you have to make the best out of where you are at. If you are staying in your triangle then your life will remain boring and lifeless. I started to venture out my comfort zone and began to meet new people. I know where I am at is not my permanent place but I might as well have fun living here. Since I have ventured out I have fell in love with so many hidden treasures in the city I live in. It has challenged me to go far and beyond my comfort zone. I am having fun!

Lessons Learned From Friendships….

4) If They Walk Away Let Them Go And Close The Door….
The hardest lesson I learned in 2012 is when you start to change so does the people in your life. I had a 14 year friendship that ended it hurt me to the core but I realized the friendship was no longer the same. Both of us had changed from life circumstances and we were no longer the 19 or 20 yr old girls. We both grew into grown women who had baggage from life that needed to be dumped out. The greatest lesson I learned hurt people hurt people. When two people are wounded there is no way they can help each other. I had to understand where I went wrong with the friendship but in the end I had to let go of the pain and forgive myself in spite of the other party departure. There may have never been a full explanation but just a unfriend button from Facebook but I knew in my heart our life path was taking on different directions. I am learning to be comfortable with people rotating out of my life because we all have a destination to get to in life. As we grow and evolve our circle will also grow and evolve. Forgive, Love & Move Forward!

5) Tolerate and Celebrate….
If you have a friend who is never really happy for your accomplishments and constantly try to degrade you then nine times out of ten this person is jealous. You want to be around people who celebrate you not tolerate you. When you begin to shine then you truly see who really is supporting you. I have learned to reevaluate all my friendships and reposition some friends in my life. I am learning to get to know people for who they really are by discerning their actions, what they say and how they react. I am more open to letting friendships go if they are not mutually beneficial. I realize each friend is for different things in my life but that does not mean they will always be there. Some will stay for a season then when there time is done they will exit the stage. I have came to accept that life is about forward movement and you cannot live in the past but embrace the future head on. In order to get where you are going you have to surround yourself around like-minded people. Positive people are attracted by positive people.

2013 is all about FORWARD MOVEMENT for me, no looking back but forgiving and closing the doors to the past of 2012 and embracing 2013 with newer expectations!