The Joy of Minding Your Own Business…

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Have you ever found yourself helping everyone else, trying to fix everyone’s life, or obsessed with controlling what other people do? If so, you have a terrible case of minding other people’s business. There have been plenty of times I found myself trying to be a therapist, life coach, or psychologist to grown adults. My mission was to be the “fixer” in everyone else life instead of tending to my garden. However, I realize I needed to stop being a trash can for other people’s issues. In the end, I was creating codependent relationships.

In my journey of self-evolution and self-discovery, I have found it refreshing to stay focus on my own life. Staying focusing on my own life has helped me work on my relationship with myself. I have become more conscientious of the things that I can expand in my world. Learning to love my life and myself has given me the grace to let go of the thoughts or ideas of worrying about what other people think about me or what they may be doing. When you begin to mind your own business, you will feel lighter. It takes enough energy trying to cope with your life, adding other people’s issues to the equation causes chaos.

I am still on this journey of minding my own business and becoming the best version of myself. It is not an overnight process but a day to day evolution. Worrying about what others are doing, what people think about me, trying to gain people’s acceptance or validation is a waste of time. When you become connected to your inner world and start creating a life you love other people, life will no longer be a concern.

Below are three ways on how you can elegantly enjoy minding your own business:

  1. Disconnect. Unplugging from social media or putting your phone on do not disturb is a great way to focus on the most important person which is…YOU!
  2. Create a life you love. If you are proactive in producing a life you love, you will have less time being consume with other people’s life. You can find a hobby, write a list of all the things you are passionate about or the things you always desire to do.
  3. Drown Out The Noise: Other people’s opinions about who you are, your life and what you do is not your concern. When you know who you are and what you do then other people’s perception is not relevant.

 

1thess411

 

 

Why Being Basic Won’t Do…

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The Corona Virus issue has made us feel so many emotions with the ebb and flow of uncertainty; staying at home has become the new normal. This new normal has caused America to put everything on pause where being still is the cure. Many schools have closed around the world, people are now working from home, and some people no longer have a job. Although it can seem to be an uncomfortable time for the world, confronted with the reality that this is the time to let go of things no longer serve our lives.

In America, we are taught that being busy and living life on auto-pilot is acceptable. We choose to operate in a world encumber with a fast-food mentality, a microwave vision for our lives. The self-quarantine gives everyone a chance to slow down, saunter, and come to a shimmer. We no longer can follow the crowd but is challenged to do something different. I believe in this time of  the shutdown, we will not go back to normal.

This transformation will cause us to become a better version of our self. We can start by self-reflecting in every area of our lives. For me, it has taught me the valuable lesson of living in the present moment.

People’s lives are being transformed because we are now finding our passion, spending time with family, connecting with friends, and doing things we were too busy to do. When the curtain rises off this center stage play we call COVID-19, how will we move forward? Will everyone go back to being “basic” or will we embrace our new normal?

Below are three ways we can release ourselves from the “basic life” to the “extraordinary life.”

1. Write The Vision. While being at home, this is a perfect time to write a plan for yourself to make some changes in your life. (Ex: If you decide to start your business now is the time to create your website, draft a business plan, etc.)

2. Execute. There is no time like the present to start being intention by putting action in your new life. Use this time to start capitalizing on not being at work. (Ex: If you are working from home, let your paycheck build up, so when all this comes to an end, you will have enough saved to live your job.)

3. Live. Before the Corona Virus, many of us were going through the motions of life; however, with the shutdown of social events and going out; we will be more present in our lives. We will have more fun living life versus existing in it.

In the end, I am optimistic the self-quarantine will bring out a better America, where we are healing, there is more joy, peace, kindness & love to spread!

 

The Art of The Pause…..

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“Learn to pause or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.” ~Doug King~

The holiday season is here, and many of us feel like we are on the brink of a breakdown. With the extra traffic, Christmas shopping, and everyone running around in a frenzy, the joy of the holidays has become burdensome. The holidays should be a time where the pace of life slows down, the present moment is treasured, and the idea of spending time with family is cherished. However, as years roll by, the holiday season has become congested with commercialization. We have stopped practicing the art of the pause.

The holidays are the perfect time to press pause and start living in the now. When you take the time to live in the present moment, you appreciate the beauty of life. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year to enjoy the art of the pause. Below are three tips you can implement to start savoring the holiday season!

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  • Take a break from social media. This Christmas commit to being present with your family and friends by disconnecting from social media. When you are not posting every moment, you will savor it and not miss out on making memories.
  • Take some vacation time from work. Too many people have vacation days but never use them. Don’t let your vacation time build-up without enjoying the fruits of your labor.
  • Don’t buy gifts. Yes, it is tempting to want to get the whole world a gift; however, spending money you do not have only creates stress. How about this season you give your loved ones the best present of all your presence

 

 

The End of An Era……

The End of An Era

Wow, I can’t believe next week Sunday is my birthday. My 30’s journey has been a beautiful evolution of “self”. I have been able to spend the years of my thirties facing issues of my past, closing the door to my past, making intentional changes to my life and most of all becoming the woman I desire to be.

As a single mom I have endured many hardships and personal setbacks but my 30’s have been my years of reflection, refreshing, starting over again and creating the life I desire.

I have become comfortable in my own skin. I love the woman I have evolved into at this point in my life. However, I know the journey is a continuous process. I am excited about my future ahead.

Since, I am commemorating the last year of my 30’s, I am sharing 39 lessons with you I learned during my 30’s journey.

Here are the 39 lessons I learned in my 30’s:
1. Confidence. Confidence is something that starts within & it is something you work on everyday.
2. No validation needed. You are grown,stop asking for permission.
3. No is a complete sentence. Stop explaining yourself.
4. Mind your own business. It never matters what others are doing. Stay focused on your life.
5. No deprivation. Stop depriving yourself of the things you love & desire.
6. Know Your Worth. You have to know your worth to know what you deserve then you will stop giving discounts to people who undermine your quality.
7. Self-care is important. Self-care is about preservation. You have to put it into practice for all areas of your life (mental, emotional, financial, physical & spiritual).
8. Trust God. 
9. Get out your own way.
10. Ask for help.
11. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can.
12. Stop procrastinating.
13. Do it afraid.
14. Get out your comfort zone.
15. Be your own best friend.
16. Speak up. You have a voice use it.
17. Stop chasing. You don’t have to chase a man, friends, people or dreams. All the things meant for you will come at the right time.
18. Travel somewhere new. 
19. Date yourself.
20. Believe in yourself.
21. Do what is best for you.
22. Be unapologetic about your greatness.
22. Set boundaries.
23. Spend time with those that celebrate you not tolerate you.
24. Celebrate yourself.
25. Be patience.
26. Saunter through life.
27. Let things flow.
28. Detach yourself from the outcome.
29. Stop the comparison. When you learn to value your life you will feel no need to compare your life to others.
30. Have faith.
31. Smile often, Laugh more.
32. Have fun. Include more bliss, pleasure & enjoyment in your life.
33. Be ok with not being ok.
34. Be vulnerable.
35. Live life. Don’t just exist live your life alive.
36. Reinvent yourself.
37. Reflect.
38. Pursue your dreams. No matter how old you are you can always pursue the things you desire.
39. Be limitless. Don’t put limitations on your life.

Hygge for the Holidays…..

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Slowing down……such a foreign concept to me for several years until I settled down in the south. As a single mom slowing down is a challenge everyday because there is always something to do on the checklist. However, in the last two years I have been challenged to slow down and really embrace the present moment. The present moment is crystallized by focusing on the now. The “now” moments are the moments we can never gain back. If this is true, then why do we rush through one event to the next?

Lately, I have been intrigued with going a lot slower in my everyday life. It has made a big difference in my mindset. Although, the holidays are here I am truly embracing slow motion. In my pursuit of this new lifestyle I have came across the word hygge (hoo-gah) practiced by the Danish culture. This lifestyle is a Danish concept that has been popping up everywhere I go. I can’t remember exactly where I heard it but I have been researching a little deeper about this concept. For a long time there was no formal definition for this word however, more Americans have become aware of this concept.

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The holidays is great time to practice this Danish concept especially since Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner. I don’t believe in putting concepts in a box so you have the power to rearrange it the way it fits your life. For example, hygge to me is drinking hot cocoa, tea or wine during the winter months, watching a movie, reading a book and spending some quality time with my daughter.

No matter what concept, tradition or non-tradition you practice slowing down and enjoying the moment should be apart of your daily regiment.

Here is a book I am currently reading check it out in Stylicia’s Reads.

3 Reasons To Activate "The Power of Gratitude"


They are many things that have transpired over this year from Ebola to the ISIS crisis, we are overwhelmed with societal issues. However, despite the negative things that are affecting out society we can make a choice to look on the bright side and find some peace of mind. I believe many times we tend to focus more on the negative things instead of the positive things. I have found that there is an awesome power in spending time in gratitude. We always have something to be grateful for no matter what circumstances may come our way. If we are brave enough to acknowledge what we are grateful for we begin to allow more blessings to flow in our lives. When we give thanks we transform our world and give God the permission to bless our lives abundantly.Gratitude is your connection to a happier life. 
Below I have listed three reasons why you need to tap into the power of gratitude.

1.  Your situation could be worse. Oftentimes we are so consumed with our problems that we do not realize our situations could be worst. 

2. It creates  happiness. When you began to reflect or meditate on what you are thankful for you begin to create positive endorphins to your mine. According to Greater Good site, Scientists also believe that altruistic behavior releases endorphins in the brain, producing the positive feeling known as the “helper’s high.”

3. You can experience a more abundant life. Abundance is not just about having money but it is about living life in an overflow state. When you activate the power of gratitude you will increase in stature. 

The best way to start activating your gratitude power is by getting a journal and listing three things every morning that you are grateful for in your life. So, I urge to give the power of gratitude a try! 

Article References:
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/5_ways_giving_is_good_for_you 

Picture References:
http://www.freespiritgirl.com/blog/emotions/get-your-gratitude-on-girl/