The Self-Care Plan: Bringing It Together (Part 2)

You can access this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/aPlFEGQCrOU

Definition: Self-care can best be described as the intentional actions that are taken to preserve your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

Self-care is an essential part of your well-being. It plays a valuable role in your mental, emotional & physical health. When you make an intentional effort to preserve your mental, emotional and physical care then it produces healthy results in other areas of your life. When you decide to put your well-being first, it can clarify what stressors affect your mind, body, soul & spirit.

In my self-care journey, I learn how to cope with stress, anxiety & anger. Creating an individual self-care plan has given me a peace of mind during difficult times. When you begin to make yourself a priority, things in your life will shift. No longer will you feel neglected, tired, burnout or unappreciated. Overall, it is a personal responsibility to take care of your well-being. When you try to delegate this responsibility to others, then disappointment and frustration will be a continuous result.

Below I am going to give you guidance on how to bring your self-care plan together.

First Step: In a journal/poster board list all categories for your plan starting with mental, emotional & physical as top categories.

Second Step: The categories will range from 6-8 depending on what specific areas are important to you.

For example your categories may be as follows:

  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Physical
  • Spiritual
  • Social/Relational
  • Professional
  • Recreational
  • Financial
Image Reference: https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2017/07/what-is-self-care.html

Third Step: Once you have listed all your categories then it is time to list your coping strategies. I suggest listing 3 to 5 coping strategies for each category so you will not overwhelm yourself

For example under my mental self-care I would put meditation, prayer, reading inspirational quotes/books etc.

Below is a brief example of my self-care plan…..

  • Mental: meditation, prayer, reading inspirational devotions/books
  • Emotional: therapy, journaling, setting boundaries
  • Physical: walking, being in nature, healthy routine for eating/medical checkups

Once you have finished listing three to five coping strategies, you are done with your self-care plan. You can always add more coping strategies later, but sticking with three to five will help you implement one or two each day during the week. Once you implement a strategy consistently, you will see a change in your life.

*To create your self-care plan you can download the free e-book here: https://payhip.com/b/znTZ *

The Self-Care Plan: Establishing A Plan (Part 1)

You can listen to this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/SazIorpNnEY

In this new age of promoting self-love, self-care, and self-confidence, many people are clueless about beginning the journey. If they have encountered experiences in their past dealing with mental, emotional, verbal, or physical trauma, then starting a self-care process can be challenging. 

In 2015 I was introduced to the concept of self-care. However, I only had a surface-level understanding of this word. As years began to pass, I began to dig deeper into the self-care phenom. My self-care journey was triggered by the loss of my two-year-old daughter. For several years, I was going through so many mental transitions I had no idea what I was dealing with until later on.

After seeking answers concerning my mental health, I was confronted with the idea of suffering from PTSD, GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), mood swings, and anger issues. When I was able to come to the realization of how I internalize my trauma, this is when I knew it was time to go deeper into my self-care journey.

The first step was to come to terms with how my mental health affected every area of my life. I knew it was time to create a self-care plan that reached beyond bubble baths, manicures, pedicures, and shopping. My self-care path began by attacking the deep-rooted mental issues. 

In 2015, I began to create a self-care plan that has evolved over time. Now I know that my mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, social/relational, and financial self-care is a top priority.

Below I am going to list ways you can start establishing a self-care plan for yourself. 

  1. Acknowledge the past traumatic experiences. When you go deeper to identify the experiences in your past that have an effect on your adulthood, then you can gain clarity on where to begin.
  2.  Define what self-care means to you. We all define things differently according to our personal life experiences. Spend time to assess what does self-care mean to you.
  3. Create a self-care plan. Once you collect the details of what your self-care looks like, you can establish a self-care plan. 

*In this blog and podcast series, I will be writing about starting your mental, emotional and spiritual self-care plan.* 

Beauty For Ashes!

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,3and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

                                                                         (Isaiah 61:2,3 NIV)

In the last eight years my life has been  filled with pain, loss and a lot of hellish moments. I went from living life like the Jeffersons to Good Times. I went from depending on the world as my source to understanding God is my source. I went from being religious to finding a deeper  spiritual connection with God. I went from pleasing everyone else to understanding the power of self-care. 

I had a lot of friends but, as I grew I began to downsize. I went from not recognizing my worth to knowing my worth. I went from undervaluing my gift to valuing my gift. I use to have low self-esteem now I am confident & realize what I deserve. I needed other people to validate my life now I live my life according to my own rules with God’s approval. I found myself minding everyone else business until I learned the power in minding my own business. 

Recently, this year I went through the loss of a family member. I cannot say I am fully recovered but I gave myself time to step back & heal my way. I believe in the power of rising above challenges because what you go through grows you. 

 I strive to be my true self no longer rejecting parts of myself to make other people feel comfortable. In this time in my life I am okay with the woman I am becoming.  I decided to take control of my life, be happy and  make adjustments along the way.

There are six valuable lessons I learned in my life :

1) You cannot do anything without God. If you think you can I guarantee you will be miserable. I know because I tried this method already.

2) Stop comparing yourself to others because you are you. When you start focusing on your own life you become happier and realize how blessed you really are in life. 

3) Other opinions do not matter. People have the right to express themselves anyway they want but try not to take other people opinions personal. You do not need other people to validate you. 

4) Superhero Syndrome. I use to feel like I had to save everyone and go out of my way to make sure they were okay. However, I found out it is not meant for me to save everyone. The people the Lord put in my path are the ones I am assigned too. 

5) Heal Your Way. Do not let people tell you how to grieve. Give yourself time to heal properly. It is okay not to be okay.

6) Let God In. God is a gentleman if you want him to be apart of your life He will be. He is just waiting for you to invite him in.
My life is a constant journey but in my journey the Lord has constantly gave me beauty for my life ashes.

Until Next Time Live Bold. Live Loud. Live Authentically. 

October Theme: Healing, wHoleness & Happiness!

The month of October has came in with a bang and so has our theme for this month. In this month our theme is Healing, wHoleness & Happiness. We will discuss the importance of taking your time to heal, how healing creates a sense of wholeness & why healing is connected to your life happiness.

Recap of December Blog Post!

I can’t believe we are in our last week in 2015 & the New Year is quickly approaching. As we say goodbye to 2015 below are the provided links to recap our series for December: Me, Myself & I! 

Me: The Re-Emergence:

http://www.theinspirationalcorner.net/2015/12/me-re-emegerence.html

Self Care Plan: Fill Your Cup!
http://www.theinspirationalcorner.net/2015/12/self-care-plan-fill-your-cup-part-1.html

The Moment I Fell back In Love With Life!
http://www.theinspirationalcorner.net/2015/12/the-moment-i-fell-back-in-love-with-life.html




Self Care Plan: Fill Your Cup

Image result for self care quotes


Today, I made a serious commitment to sit down and start my self-care plan. I did the needed research to find the pieces to solidify my self-care goals. When you begin to think about self-care you have to take inventory of all the things that create your own humanity. So, as I began to research  I realized I needed to categorized every aspect of my self-care. 


Your self-care plan can be divided into 6-8 categories such as mental, emotional, physical/wellness, beauty, social/relational (relationships of love & friendship), spiritual, financial and recreational.  Once you begin to create each category then it is time to focus on each specific area. 


Before, I decided to start my self-care journey I wrote a rough draft of each area and my focal points. Self-care is about you filling every empty corner in your mind, body and soul. As I embark on this journey I am excited to take a year or more to focus on what I need so I can no longer have lack in my life. Many times in society we are programmed to believe that taking care of yourself is a selfish act. However, taking care of yourself is the most important act of your life.

I use to feel guilty about doing stuff for myself until I realized other people had no problem with taking from me. I would give and give until I couldn’t give anymore. This became an issue because I was depleting myself. I consistently gave my all to other people which is never a good concept. When you fall into the deception of giving your all then you are allowing yourself to lack. Lack is connected to scarcity and poverty. Abundance is the opposite of this system.

In order to generate abundance you have to fill yourself up until you are overflowing in all areas of your life. Refueling your mind, body and soul is an important criteria in order to be able to help others. Giving back to others first starts with you filling your cup each day. When you can ask yourself what do I need?”  then you can help someone else because your need is met.


In a world full of humanity we subtract ourselves from the humane part. I do believe if you give to others the Lord will bless you but I also believe in the concept of using wisdom on how to give and the measure to give.


Understand if you never fill your cup or become the first partaker everyone else including yourself will starve. I am tired of starving and being broke so I decided to fill my cup & then in return I can fill everyone else cup around me!  



The One Day That Changed My Life: My Rebirth!

 
“I dance, I smile & live fearlessly because I know what it feels like to die on the inside I only want to live authentically being me.” ~Stylicia~

I believe it is a crime to never acknowledge your greatness and never share it with the world. I use to be the kind of girl that was scared to shout on the rooftop about my accomplishments until I realize someone else needs my inspiration, testimonies and story. I love life and live it abundantly because in my life I had too many tragedies impact me especially on February 20, 2007 when my two year old daughter left this world. My children are my joy and to lose a child is like a stab in the heart; painful and sometimes you wonder is recovery possible. After my oldest daughter and I had to endure the pain of losing my sweet two year old daughter, Serenity T. Bowden we somehow had to pick up the pieces. The hardest part in my life was picking up the pieces acting as if life goes on but for me it stopped and nothing remained the same. I was no longer the person everyone wanted me to be but I was bitter, angry and hurt. However, with my strong faith in the Lord he utilized this pain to turn it into a purpose bigger than me. I was a writer since I was eight years old but my gift, passion came full circle when I got stationed in South Carolina five years ago when I was still in the U.S. Navy. The tragedy of losing an angel gave me the courage to share my pain through the written word. I expressed my pain, triumphs and healing through the gift of words which became my source of healing. Every time I released the pen it reminded me of my dreams and sharing them with my family when I was young speaking of being a great famous writer. After exiting the military in 2008 I was broken with open wounds still needing some repair. I had a void but nothing to fill it but my will to write and overcome the pain. In 2011, a four year relationship ended with a man I fell in love with but little did I know it was the beginning of finding my authentic self. I took two years to face the real me by coping with internal issues and stopping the insanity in my life. Some chains needed to be broken but others around me realized I was changing no longer being the people pleaser and control freak. I lost some friendships in the process but I can truly say I am so glad I stayed true to myself, walking boldly in my truth. Today, I live bold, loud and authentically without societal validation celebrating who I am. This moment that happen six years ago changed the way I view and live life. My youngest daughter time on this Earth affected so many people. My oldest daughter and I keep Serenity’s memory alive by not taking life for granted. I always have to live with the pain of losing a child but I have a choice to let this pain stop me or motivate me to keep going to share my gift with the world. I choose to let this pain fuel me to share my gift and passion to inspire humanity. My plate is large but God has given me all the tools I need to motivate & inspire those that are put in my path. So, I continue to release the pen so healing can begin…..This was the result of the rebirth of me!

Slow Down, Face The Pain & Heal!

When life consumes you & you find yourself on full speed ahead take a step back and slow down. ~Stylicia~
 
 
I never thought it would be this challenging to slow down and not travel for a month. I can truly say I have been challenged in this area because I am usually on the road where the wind is hitting my hair and my eyes are wide open for a new adventure. However, this month I have found myself stationary and listening to my own thoughts as they play on repeat. In this time of seclusion I had to face some internal issues and realize it does not feel so good. Sometimes when we are always running around, hiding and dodging our real thoughts we can never deal with the real issues. I realize living here in SC has been challenging for me mentally and emotionally because it is very slow and country but God has used this place to make me face myself. I understand that healing can never take place if I am always running and never slowing down to hear my thoughts. This particular moment in my life has taught me to be real with myself and face areas of my life where the pain still remains. I have realized there lies some internal issues that I have to confront and start working towards a resolution in order to start the healing process. If I am always around noise I can never hear the quiet voice on the inside of me. When you are always busy that does not accumulate to you being productive. Sometimes we stay busy to stop thinking about how hurt we are, how lonely we are or how much we need help. This month has been a time where God has challenged me to deal with issues and heal. Authenticity has everything to do with you being true to yourself and sometimes this can be the hardest thing to do. In my authentic journey I am faced with real issues that sometimes have been buried by my own disillusion. I told myself in 2013 I refuse to lie to myself in order for me heal. If we never slow down to face what lies on the surface of our souls we can never truly be free. Freedom comes when we make a decision that life is about being better not bitter and not allowing the residue of pain to sit. Once I made a decision to submit to slowing down and face the music I realize my healing is starting in areas that I never thought were still in pain. I challenge you today to slow down, face the music and hear your soul so you can heal. If you are always so busy and consumed you can never really listen to the voice that is trying to get your attention. In order to be healthy in your life you have to be willing to…Slow Down..Face The Pain…And Heal!
 

5 Lessons Learned Through Life, Love & Friendship!

As the year comes to an end I reflect on how much has happen this year in my life. I realize all the things have worked out for the better even when I had no concept of why they happen. I learned valuable lessons from growing in life, loving myself unconditionally and redefining the word friend after a 14 year friendship ended. All of these things made me stronger, wiser and better. Each high and low point in my life challenged me to reevaluate myself, work on my personal issues and move forward. In 2012  I have learned to stop reminiscing on the past, holding on to pain and understand the power of forgiveness. I want to share with you five powerful lessons I have learned on my new journey as I embrace the new me…New Faces, Places & Spaces!



Lessons Learned on Love…

1) Love Yourself First (Unconditionally flaws and all), Forgive Yourself and Heal Yourself
Love is powerful but if you do not know how to love yourself you can never reciprocate that love to someone else totally. This year I have learned to immerse myself into loving myself in all areas of my life mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. I have been challenged to take time to get to know what I want, what I like and accomplishing my goals. The most powerful lesson I learned was to stop putting myself on the back burner and learning to put myself on the front row. I found out I deserve the best of everything because I believe in my ability to go farther than I could imagine. I had to realize the only limitation that was holding me back was my mindset and the words I spoke about my life. I know now I am powerful beyond measure and only want to attract those who are positive and moving forward in great strides. 

2) Love Will Find You….
After exiting a four year relationship with a man that was not the one for me I realized love will find you & you do not have to be desperate to find it. The ending of this relationship help me begin my authentic journey helping me understand the reason I attracted the same type of men. It had nothing to do with them but it was me who had to deal with my own inner issues. I have been on my authentic journey for almost 2 yrs now and it has been a great journey. I feel refreshed, renewed and reborn. I can truly say I am a new me and have a new found love for myself. I understand the importance of self love, enjoying being single and creating the life I desire….I have an new attitude about living life which is…I am living life and not waiting to have a man or get married to live life to the fullest!

Lessons Learned on Life

 3) Life is what you create it to be…..
I use to complain and hate where I lived but now I realize you have to make the best out of where you are at. If you are staying in your triangle then your life will remain boring and lifeless. I started to venture out my comfort zone and began to meet new people. I know where I am at is not my permanent place but I might as well have fun living here. Since I have ventured out I have fell in love with so many hidden treasures in the city I live in. It has challenged me to go far and beyond my comfort zone. I am having fun!

Lessons Learned From Friendships….

4) If They Walk Away Let Them Go And Close The Door….
The hardest lesson I learned in 2012 is when you start to change so does the people in your life. I had a 14 year friendship that ended it hurt me to the core but I realized the friendship was no longer the same. Both of us had changed from life circumstances and we were no longer the 19 or 20 yr old girls. We both grew into grown women who had baggage from life that needed to be dumped out. The greatest lesson I learned hurt people hurt people. When two people are wounded there is no way they can help each other. I had to understand where I went wrong with the friendship but in the end I had to let go of the pain and forgive myself in spite of the other party departure. There may have never been a full explanation but just a unfriend button from Facebook but I knew in my heart our life path was taking on different directions. I am learning to be comfortable with people rotating out of my life because we all have a destination to get to in life. As we grow and evolve our circle will also grow and evolve. Forgive, Love & Move Forward!

5) Tolerate and Celebrate….
If you have a friend who is never really happy for your accomplishments and constantly try to degrade you then nine times out of ten this person is jealous. You want to be around people who celebrate you not tolerate you. When you begin to shine then you truly see who really is supporting you. I have learned to reevaluate all my friendships and reposition some friends in my life. I am learning to get to know people for who they really are by discerning their actions, what they say and how they react. I am more open to letting friendships go if they are not mutually beneficial. I realize each friend is for different things in my life but that does not mean they will always be there. Some will stay for a season then when there time is done they will exit the stage. I have came to accept that life is about forward movement and you cannot live in the past but embrace the future head on. In order to get where you are going you have to surround yourself around like-minded people. Positive people are attracted by positive people.

2013 is all about FORWARD MOVEMENT for me, no looking back but forgiving and closing the doors to the past of 2012 and embracing 2013 with newer expectations!

Data Dump:Mental Detox 101 (10 Lessons Learned)

I think therefore I am. ~Rene Descartes~

Recently I decided to do a 10 day mental detox, I had no idea how the journey would go but I knew my end result would be self fulfilling and rewarding. I planned to be in total solitary confinement with no music, only business related phone conversations, no TV, no social media, prayer, meditation & reading positive or inspirational literature. I learned alot about the power of self-love, self-appreciation, dumping out the negative things in my mental thought process, speaking affirmations over my life and being unapologetic about loving myself unconditionally. Below are 10 important lessons I learned about myself and about my mental capacity.

Here are 10 lessons from my mental detox 101:

1)   Dump The Data. The first day I spent time writing down all my self defeating thoughts. So I begin to pour those negative thoughts, concepts and ideas on paper. I purge myself of all the negative things I thought about my future, my goals and about myself.

2) Refresh. I decide to let the negative thoughts go the second day and I hit refresh on my brain. It was time for my computerized mentality to have a blank motherboard. It was time for new data, installing new R.A.M (Random Access To New Memory).

3) Power of Appreciation.  I realized how much I was starving the appreciation I needed to have for myself. I was constantly waiting for friends and insignificant people to appreciate me but I realize I needed to appreciate myself first. It made me realize how special my gift, talent, skill is to the world and I should not give it away for free. It helped me understand to do special things for myself by myself. Those special events & places I deserve to be the first person to experience them alone (my own personal joys). 

4) Power of Investment. If I don’t invest in my greatness how can I attract sowers to sow into my greatness. I am committed to always investing in myself for self improvement mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. No more limitations!

5) Self Love Movement: Self love is a powerful love. Until love is oozing from my pores, this self love journey will never end. Loving myself unconditionally unapologetically! 

6) Purify MeStop entertaining negative, toxic things that will easily imprint into my brain. I have to stay mentally clean!

7) Hit DeleteSome mental disruptions are insignificant to  put your  focus on, so weed out the weeds killing your seeds of growth.

8) Let It Flow. Surrounded by so much positivity helped me attract other positive forces like a magnet. When you are mentally positive, positive words flow easily. 

9) Be Fearless. There is no more room for fear I was reminded how being fearless is apart of my physical makeup. I lived in different countries by myself while stationed in the military where fear was never apart of life. I realized how being comfortable is boring, its time to live life on edge again. Adrenaline Rush!

10) Shaking It Up. Shaking up your world with “new” things provokes a change in your mind. It opens your mind to new exciting things. It will help your creativity flow. 

P.S. My mental detox is something I can not afford to do but it is something I committed to do for every month. The first three days of every month I will be in solitary mental confinement. 

So, now I challenge you to take time to do your own Data Dump!