What do you currently believe about yourself and who you are in this moment? Do you feel like you are lacking in some areas when it comes to your personality?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, don’t feel ashamed, I think we all believed in the lie of not being enough. The plague of not feeling enough has haunted me throughout my life. I would constantly recycle negative self-talk, abusive words from others, and societal standards. However, as I began to uncover this faulty belief system about myself, I realize the root of it all stemmed from low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and other underlining issues.
In 2011, I went on an inner journey of self-exploration and self-discovery to confront dysfunctional beliefs about myself and my life. And what I found was a wounded young lady who needed to know that her past didn’t define her worth. It has been ten years since the journey has helped me evolve into a confident, self-assured woman where the notion of not being enough is no longer a part of my storyline.
The truth is that we all are enough in this world, and when we start believing in this idea, we can live a more fulfilled life. When you accept the idea that you lack something within, you run the risk of living a suppressed life. With a suppress mindset, we eventually generate the chase concept; you will chase people, dreams, goals, money, success, etc. to feel accepted and validated by external forces.
When you begin to know who you are and your worth, you become a threat to those who lavish in their insecurities. You must confront your insecurities every day (because it is a daily thing). And to be clear, it is okay to have insecurities because they make us imperfect and vulnerable. Insecurities become ugly when we lash out or use hurtful words against others.
Below are three ways you can say bye bye to the belief of not enough.
Let Go. Say Au revoir to anybody or anything that make you feel like you are too much.
Dig Deep. Uncover all the crazy beliefs that has hindered your self-worth story.
Heal. Allow yourself a time to heal from the past of unforgiveness (forgive yourself), trauma and anything that has kept you hostage to the lie of not being enough .
As the year 2020 is coming to an end, we are spending time preparing ourselves for Christmas and the New Year. We are taking time to slow down, reflect, and review this unusual year. The year 2020 has served us with unforgettable moments that we desire to bury, but we realize embracing a simple cozy life for 2021 may be the cure.
When I went to the dictionary, the word simple is defined as easily understood or done, presenting no difficulty. I think we can all agree 2020 had enough problems to serve us a lifetime of discomfort. However, when life gives us uncomfortable moments, we know that ease is on the way. And finding ways to live a comfortable, simple life can bring us peace, joy, and gratitude.
Below I am giving five essentials ways to begin to live a better life by embracing the Danish concept of Hygge; less is more and other essential elements to living a comfortable, simple life.
Embrace a Hygge Life: In 2017, I stumble upon the Danish phrase hygge (pronounce hoo-ga) and it change my life especially during the holiday season. I began to research this concept and found a book by Louisa Thomsen Brits called The Book of Hygge . The book help me unlock the idea of creating a slower life filled with contentment.
Practice Gratitude: When you are grateful for what you have you will realize how abundant you are. (book reference: The Magic by Rhonda Byrne)
Set Boundaries: Know what you will & will not accept then make adjustments. Setting boundaries will give you a peace of mind.
Be okay with pivoting: When things don’t go as plan you have to learn how to adjust and go in a different direction. Pivoting teaches you the art of moving forward despite the circumstances.
Simplify to uncomplicate: Get clear on who you want to be, where you want to be and how you want to feel in your life. Then add, subtract and multiply all the necessary elements to uncomplicate your relationships & life.
When you embrace these five concepts, I believe you will start to move towards a cozy simple life!
Have you ever found yourself helping everyone else, trying to fix everyone’s life, or obsessed with controlling what other people do? If so, you have a terrible case of minding other people’s business. There have been plenty of times I found myself trying to be a therapist, life coach, or psychologist to grown adults. My mission was to be the “fixer” in everyone else life instead of tending to my garden. However, I realize I needed to stop being a trash can for other people’s issues. In the end, I was creating codependent relationships.
In my journey of self-evolution and self-discovery, I have found it refreshing to stay focus on my own life. Staying focusing on my own life has helped me work on my relationship with myself. I have become more conscientious of the things that I can expand in my world. Learning to love my life and myself has given me the grace to let go of the thoughts or ideas of worrying about what other people think about me or what they may be doing. When you begin to mind your own business, you will feel lighter. It takes enough energy trying to cope with your life, adding other people’s issues to the equation causes chaos.
I am still on this journey of minding my own business and becoming the best version of myself. It is not an overnight process but a day to day evolution. Worrying about what others are doing, what people think about me, trying to gain people’s acceptance or validation is a waste of time. When you become connected to your inner world and start creating a life you love other people, life will no longer be a concern.
Below are three ways on how you can elegantly enjoy minding your own business:
Disconnect. Unplugging from social media or putting your phone on do not disturb is a great way to focus on the most important person which is…YOU!
Create a life you love. If you are proactive in producing a life you love, you will have less time being consume with other people’s life. You can find a hobby, write a list of all the things you are passionate about or the things you always desire to do.
Drown Out The Noise: Other people’s opinions about who you are, your life and what you do is not your concern. When you know who you are and what you do then other people’s perception is not relevant.
The year 2020 has taken center stage, and everyone has made their goals, resolutions & vision boards. With the onset of January comes enthusiasm to make our dreams into reality. However, once February steps in, the spark begins to fizzle, and sticking to our vision fades. The dust starts to settle as we find ourselves back to the beginning waiting for a new year to create more goals, resolutions & vision boards.
Does this pattern sound familiar to you? If so, then it’s time to add intention to your year. According to Webster, dictionary intention is defined as an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. This definition can be translated as changing your mindset to create an effect to accomplish your goals. When you are intentional with your new year goals, visions, and more, you can create a year filled with productivity. Many times we go into the new year with the same mindset from the prior year, which generates an insanity cycle. Instead of producing a new year, we produce another monotonous year.
Below I have three simple tips to help you have an intentional 2020!
Transform Your Mind.Before you can have a fabulous new year in this new decade and leap year, you have to be willing to let go of all negative things in your mind. Make a list of your old beliefs that did not serve you then write new beliefs that will help you accomplish your 2020 goals. (Note: Who do you need/have to become to make 2020 a “new” year?)
Declutter without restraint. Letting go is hard, but things flow better when you make room for what you desire. When you declutter all areas of your life, it can help you gain clarity. (Note: Do not resist letting go of people, places, and things that no longer serve your life.)
Take Action. Dreams, goals and visions only become reality when you take action. Small actions eventually will measure bigger actions towards your goals. (Note: Fear, procrastination and making excuses are distractions to keep you from being intentional. Face the fears and replace them will faith and confidence in what you want to accomplish.)
Slowing down……such a foreign concept to me for several years until I settled down in the south. As a single mom slowing down is a challenge everyday because there is always something to do on the checklist. However, in the last two years I have been challenged to slow down and really embrace the present moment. The present moment is crystallized by focusing on the now. The “now” moments are the moments we can never gain back. If this is true, then why do we rush through one event to the next?
Lately, I have been intrigued with going a lot slower in my everyday life. It has made a big difference in my mindset. Although, the holidays are here I am truly embracing slow motion. In my pursuit of this new lifestyle I have came across the word hygge (hoo-gah) practiced by the Danish culture. This lifestyle is a Danish concept that has been popping up everywhere I go. I can’t remember exactly where I heard it but I have been researching a little deeper about this concept. For a long time there was no formal definition for this word however, more Americans have become aware of this concept.
The holidays is great time to practice this Danish concept especially since Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner. I don’t believe in putting concepts in a box so you have the power to rearrange it the way it fits your life. For example, hygge to me is drinking hot cocoa, tea or wine during the winter months, watching a movie, reading a book and spending some quality time with my daughter.
No matter what concept, tradition or non-tradition you practice slowing down and enjoying the moment should be apart of your daily regiment.
I can attest to the colloquialism of life that it is a journey not a destination. Life is filled with unexpected detours, stop signs, roadblocks, turning lanes and much more. However, in the midst of it all, life is an adventure. In order to live the adventure you mustn’t resist the lessons it has to offer.
I have spent almost a decade trying to adjust to a new life since I left the military in 2008. The journey has been filled with ups and downs but it has equipped me to gain sea legs to weather the storm. I have come to the realization that life is filled with Alice and The Wonderland moments. Every time I tried to resist the ebb and flow of life I would wipe out like a person learning how to surf for the first time.
When you are open to the journey of life it will reveal serendipitous moments. These moments will lead you to your destiny. Your destiny may lead you to great adventures and opportunities. Life is not made for the person who love comfort zones instead it challenges you to get out your comfort zone. Comfort zones are security blankets that keep you stagnant.
Stagnancy leads to a life filled with no adventure, boredom, fear and lack. Lack creates a feeling of dissatisfaction which leads to discontentment. As you muddle through your journey be flexible in the ways that life will unfold.
Today is the official last day of summer and for most of us it is just another day. However, I believe this is the best time to spend it in reflection. Reflecting is a great therapeutic tool to slow down and gather your thoughts. In this process you can reflect on the last nine months of this year. You might decide to reflect on goals that were achieved, relationships that ended, new things that have entered your life and where you want to be at by the end of 2017.
Reflection is a good way to look at the past, embrace the present and prepare for the future. As you prepare for the autumnal equinox take this day to sit back, sip your favorite beverage and revel in the beauty of Fall.
How do you plan to spend your last day of summer? (Leave your comments below)
It was obvious I was lost in translation on this path of finding my purpose. I spent years trying to search for what fulfilled my soul but I was clueless. I needed something to reignite my fire. What was I missing? Uhm….it dawned on me, I was missing passion.
If I could retrace my steps, I lost my passion at the end of 2006 while stationed in South Carolina. A series of negative things kept happening in my life and consequently South Carolina became my arch nemesis. I truly wonder why I chose such an isolated place away from all the people & things I loved.
When I finally finished my 9yrs of military service I was left with the decision to leave or stay. Honestly, I wanted to run as far away from here as I could but I was hurting. I needed a fresh start but I didn’t believe this would be the place of my new beginnings. However, God’s plans for my life was greater than I could imagine.
So, the journey started as the walls came tumbling down brick by brick each layer exposed a deeper part of my pain. I was left naked with the pure ugliness of who I became over the last several years.
While I kicked and screamed my way through the journey I became tired of the misery. I was tired of the circle of insanity and often begged the Lord to let me leave South Carolina. I was angry; I wanted God to tell me why I was here. But I had no idea that all the misfortunes were just preparing me for my purpose. I was challenged to romance the stones in my life and change them into diamonds.
It’s funny; as much as I wanted to leave God used this place of transition as a place for me to become whole. Whatever, I thought I was looking for found me. And as I continue to heal I am feeling more alive everyday embracing the passion that sets my soul on fire!
The Inspirational Corner will bring you more informative content on multiple women topics. Next year, we will dive into topics that will empower, uplift & teach you how to channel your feminine power. We will still possess the same format by making sure every month has a theme. Each article will correlate with each monthly theme. Also the founder of The Inspirational Corner Ms. Bowden will be coming out with her new eBook entitled Red Lips & Stilettos: A Girl’s Guide To Self-Confidence. Red Lips & Stilettos is a social media movement she started in January 2015 to inspire women to walk in their purpose & believe in their feminine power. Here on the Inspirational Corner we will highlight her new eBook & give you coverage on what the book represent for women. The beginning of January we will highlight her new eBook to give you insight on each chapter & where you can purchase her new eBook online. So get ready for fabulous things we have in store on The Inspirational Corner.