Chasing The Ghost of Skinny


Running on the treadmill trying to get rid of the fat I was tired of my fat legs and muffin top. I was bombarded with images of women that had no curves like me. It seemed as if I was chasing after someone or maybe something on this treadmill. I was beginning to wonder if I was becoming fit to be healthy or becoming fit to get rid of the fat. I was tired of my roller coaster behavior when it came to plaguing allegiance to exercise. To be honest, I am literally burnt out. Who was I kidding? This sweat dripping on me was tiresome I just wanted to be skinny. However, chasing skinny was not worth my sanity!

Have you ever felt like your fitness journey was endless and reaching your goal was impossible? Well, if you shook your head yes while reading this I definitely can relate to you. Last year, I was consumed with so much stress that once I came back from my summer adventures I had no motivation to workout. I did not understand why but then I realized there was a mental block. I needed to get to the root of why there was absolutely no motivation to exercise.

I finally got the answer after being honest with myself; I was chasing the ghost of skinny. When I was in my 20’s I ate what I want and worked out three time s a week due to military standards. However, I was no longer in my 20’s and definitely did not have a mandatory routine regiment.  My workout journey was solely dependent upon my own motivation.
I decided that I needed to be happy with where I was physically and find solutions on how to embrace my new body at 35. In reality, I needed to stop looking at old pictures of myself. I was no longer that girl, it was necessary to embrace the woman I had become. 

Six months later, I made the choice to renew my relationship with myself. My exercise journey was more of a mental stigma I had to confront. Whether I am 145lbs or 160lbs I understood I have to be happy with myself at every stage. I can either make strides and celebrate my small fitness milestones or continue to chase the ghost of skinny.

In the end you cannot fully be happy with your fitness journey until you learn to embrace where you are at this very moment. Every part of your fitness journey is a step in the right direction. So celebrate yourself, embrace your curves & have fun in your fitness journey!

Rescue You

A month in a half has passed and I have not written on my blog…I like to be inspired that is why I named it “The Inspirational Corner”. There is inspirational behind my pen when I write because I have a habit to write from my soul! ~Stylicia
I am a movie lover and some movies leave a print on my mind and heart. I just finished watching “My Week With Marilyn” based on a true story by Colin Clark describing his magical week with Marilyn Monroe. It left a provoking thought in my head, fame can sometimes kill the most beautiful women. Marilyn Monroe had a persona that she developed in the public eye and she had to live up to her brand she created. However, people had no idea of the real person she was beyond the sex symbol image. I believe many women create a persona in the public eye but that is not who they really are on the inside.Whitney Houston was another iconic woman who people saw as a musical princess but they did not know who Whitney was behind her brand image. Whitney Houston and Marilyn Monroe both had a tragic end to their life. However, these two beautiful women were constantly everything to everyone else but no one was there to save them from their demise. As women we are built to wear many hats but sometimes we forget the woman on the inside need personal care. If we do not get that personal care then we start to develop an unhealthy relationship with our self. Marilyn and Whitney both needed to be rescued from their demanding life, feeling unpretty,incompetent, insecure and feeling like their talent was not enough. These beautiful women were icons who made a great impression on women in their lifespan. It is sad to have all the money in the world but not feel love from within. It is important as a woman we find time to retreat away from the pressures of life when we feel like we are losing who we are on the inside. Some of us are dying on the inside but smiling on the outside because we just want to be rescued. I still ponder what would of happen if Whitney Houston, Marilyn Monroe and Amy Winehouse would have been rescued from their misery. Ladies, misery loves company but it is your duty to connect back with the light.There comes a time where you have to find time to separate your roles from being a mother, wife, friend, mentor, nurturer and career woman to connect with who you are,  connecting with your God given persona. I have many names but sometimes I just have a desire just to be Stylicia, the fun, crazy, edgy, goofy and unadulterated person I was created to be. However, the biggest lesson I have learned from Marilyn Monroe and Whitney Houston is no matter how many demands, titles and roles I have to play in life the most important role is being good to myself. I have to learn to be my own best friend!
Ladies take to time to retreat away, to regroup and be you, be true to the woman that needs nurturing on the inside!