Refueling Your Joy

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/4pf9xjkp

Often in life, we will encounter difficult moments that will take us off course and knock us out of the game. However, in the low moments, you can take this time to reflect and give yourself time to process through the heartache or heartbreaks of life.

In America, we are condition to believe that it is our doing and constantly moving that keeps us going, but in our stillness, we can allow our joy to be refreshed, our minds to gain clarity, and our souls to be renewed. Recently, I realize all the difficult moments that transpired in my life this month indicated how much I needed to slow down. The fiery darts of life wounded my joy, and I know spending time to heal, process, and regain my happiness is paramount. I am giving myself permission to have self-compassion, revel in my humanness and unplug.

The greatest lesson I have learned this month is no matter how strong you are, give yourself time to process the losses, pain, and irritations of life. Moving forward doesn’t always look like being in a mindset of doing something, but laying down and processing is a part of the journey.

Below I created a couple concepts that will help you regain your peace of mind and refuel your joy for the better.

  • Unplug. Take time to reflect, heal & recharge from the difficult moments.
  • Make a joy list. Make a list of all the things that spark your joy and make you feel alive.
  • Be Transparent. Be real about how you feel (decipher your emotions by journaling, therapy, talking to someone close to you, etc.).
  • Give Yourself Time. Take it slow & don’t allow anything or anyone to rush your healing process.

All or Nothing: Betting On Yourself

You can listen to this episode here: https://youtu.be/rIEIXqquN-A

The new year is here, and we all have so many things we want to accomplish; however, 2021 is a year for me to go all-in on what I desire. I often found myself giving one hundred and ten percent to my family, friends, romantic relationships, and career. Yet, I was always short-changing myself when it came to my life aspirations.

I would spend a lot of time doubting my efforts to succeed and found excuses for not living the life I wanted to live. I distracted myself with helping other people accomplish their dreams while I kept putting my life on hold. Overall, I became dissatisfied with the results in my life. And I realize I had to stop sitting on the sidelines wishing things would be different and get the gumption to create the life I believe I deserve.

After 2020 I realize how important it is to take intentional steps to design a life I enjoy. We spend so much of our time making others happy, but we don’t invest the same effort in our happiness. Your life’s joy and fulfillment should always be a priority.

So I decided that this new year is the start of me going all-in and believing in my potential to produce the extraordinary life I was meant to live. When you invest in yourself, the rate of return will always yield success.

Below are three ways you can bet on yourself and increase your self-worth:

  • Say yes to yourself. Saying yes to yourself is having the courage to design a life that makes you feel good and purposeful (finding purpose in the life you are creating).
  • Let go of split energy. When you are spreading yourself thin, you produce split energy meaning your actions and words are not congruent. When you commit yourself to everyone else dreams, you self-sabotage your efforts to invest in your own life desires.
  • Slow Down. When you take a moment to slow down and pace yourself you can get clarity on what direction you want to go. (slow and steady wins the race…..lesson from The Tortoise and The Hare an Aesop Fable)

The Art of The Pause…..

goldenage (1)

“Learn to pause or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.” ~Doug King~

The holiday season is here, and many of us feel like we are on the brink of a breakdown. With the extra traffic, Christmas shopping, and everyone running around in a frenzy, the joy of the holidays has become burdensome. The holidays should be a time where the pace of life slows down, the present moment is treasured, and the idea of spending time with family is cherished. However, as years roll by, the holiday season has become congested with commercialization. We have stopped practicing the art of the pause.

The holidays are the perfect time to press pause and start living in the now. When you take the time to live in the present moment, you appreciate the beauty of life. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year to enjoy the art of the pause. Below are three tips you can implement to start savoring the holiday season!

seize-every-second-of-your-life-and-savor-it-value-your-present-moments-quote-1

  • Take a break from social media. This Christmas commit to being present with your family and friends by disconnecting from social media. When you are not posting every moment, you will savor it and not miss out on making memories.
  • Take some vacation time from work. Too many people have vacation days but never use them. Don’t let your vacation time build-up without enjoying the fruits of your labor.
  • Don’t buy gifts. Yes, it is tempting to want to get the whole world a gift; however, spending money you do not have only creates stress. How about this season you give your loved ones the best present of all your presence

 

 

30 Days of Stillness

In a world filled with the consumption of busyness it is very unusual in our American culture to take time to be still. Since I have been back in the United States it seems as if we consistently glorify busyness, as if it is a badge of honor. The glorification of being busy has caused many diseases, stress, breakdowns and much more for the American culture. People identify with the words “hustle”, “grind” and “go-getter” as a way to celebrate their busy lives. Too often we confuse productivity with busyness and vice versa. Therefore, slowing down is never a thought because we do more to be more to get more. Instead of finding the beauty in simplicity we rush through life missing out on it.

I remember when I lived abroad I cherished the simplicity of life and enjoyed the moments of downtime. Simplicity was not so foreign to me until I came back to the US.  I began to yearn for the days where being present in the moment was a joy. Although, I’ve been  back in the US for 11 years now I still have not adjusted to the hustle and bustle of busyness. However, I made a vow to myself to get back to the life of simplicity!

Every summer I spend time strategizing where I want to go and who I plan to visit yet, this summer I wanted to do something different. I decided to spend 30 days being still; doing absolutely nothing. And to be honest, I found so much enjoyment in relaxing, slowing down and being present in the moment. Although, you may not be able to take 30 days off to be still but you can pick a day to do absolutely nothing.

Here are a couple of things I learned from my month of slowing down.

1. It can wait. Sometimes what you think is a priority is not a priority so rearrange your list and take some time to slow down.

2. Staycation.  Staycations are the best vacations because it allows you to rest and refresh your whole being.

3. Stop chasing people. I spent too many summers and holidays on the road visiting people who had no intentions of visiting me. Save your gas and money for a trip you want to take alone.

4. Become a priority in your own life. Stop waiting until other people put you as a priority on their list. It is time you become number 1 on your own list.

5. Stillness is mindfulness. When you are consumed with the present moment you see the present in everyday living.

So, take the time to disconnect yourself from the spirit of busy and embrace the joys of living in the moment. 

Which lesson will you implement this week? Let me know in the comments.

7 Ways To Reconnect With Yourself


How often do you check in with yourself? It is important to ask yourself questions to make sure your mind, body, and soul are aligned. Sometimes we go through our daily routine in life forgetting to check in with our self. We rush through each day just to get to the weekend to repeat the endless cycle. However, we never realize that stress or being burnout is due to us losing the connection with ourselves. When you begin to take a daily inventory of your happiness you will bring awareness back to yourself.  Spending time reconnecting with yourself is essential to living a well-balanced life.  Below are 7 ways to help you reconnect with yourself.

1. Breathe. Yes, breathing is a sure way to reconnect you back to your body energy. If you take the time to slow down your breath & breathe slowly it will help you calm down. According to an article in Living Strong,Deep breathing relieves stress and anxiety due to its physiological effect on the nervous system.”

2. Go outside. Nature is a great way to connect yourself back to the beauty around you. The more you are aware of all the godly beauty it will refresh your soul. 

3. Meditate. Meditation is one great way to feel at peace, to clear scattered thoughts and bring you to a place of oneness. Even if you meditate for 8 minutes a day it will change your mental state. There are many apps that you can download to start your meditation journey. You can also sit in silence without any distractions to assist you on your meditation path.

4. Pamper Yourself. When was the last time you took some time to pamper yourself? 
Indulge a little whether it is take a spa day, getting a glass of wine, exercising or eating alone at your favorite restaurant understand pampering yourself will help you re-energize.

5. Read Your Favorite Book. Spending time to read your favorite book can help you escape from the chaos. According to Reader’s Digest,”snuggling up with a good read tamps down levels of unhealthy stress hormones such as cortisol, Weight Watchers recently reported.

6. Sit by the Water. I always felt that sitting by water has a calming effect. If you spend time at a body of water it will help you reflect on positive things.

7. Unplug. Unplugging from technology and social media can help you reconnect as well. Spending time to stay present in the moment will help you appreciate the current moment.I would also suggest not posting every moment on social media. Posting everything you do on social media can take away from the authenticity of the moment.

After practicing these seven ways you will feel less stressed and more connected with your mind, body & soul!

References:


The Joys Of Winter

While winter has reared its ugly head many of us are stationary due to the inclement weather that has cascaded throughout the northern and southern states. The snow has become a foe to many people who head to work in the treacherous cold each day. However, children welcome the light feathery dust that has fallen amidst from the sky. They are filled with joy to see the evidence of snow because they have a chance to make snow castles, snowmen and snow angels. The coldest time of the year is winter where we are forced to wear layers of skin to protect us from the cold. Although, winter can sometimes be pictured as a lackluster season we forget that it is the most beautiful season of the year. The snow glistens as icicles take form on rooftops, the sound of children laughing and throwing snowballs fill the atmosphere during the winter months. Winter is a sign of hibernation, as animals hide away to prepare for the spring. In the wintery months we are challenged to slow down not rushing to our destination. We are forced to hide away in the confinements of shelter and invent indoor activities when the schools shut down for our children. The children tend to have no complaints because they have a free day off from school while companies close down giving employees a day off from work. I have learned that winter can be the best season to learn how to slow down, rekindle some passions, and make time for family. Winter has a way of helping me realize that there is no need to rush but to embrace the simple moments. In American culture we are prone to the fast pace of life living in a microwavable generation unlike other cultures we do not know how to rest. We rush through each moment without taking time to slow down and smell the roses in life. Winter teaches us the lessons of enjoying the little things, reflecting on the bigger picture and slowly navigating through life. While winter still resides for the next couple of months I challenge you to take some time out of your busy schedule and embrace the magical joys of winter. Reflect, Refuel and Relax during the winter months…..

 

 

Slow Down, Face The Pain & Heal!

When life consumes you & you find yourself on full speed ahead take a step back and slow down. ~Stylicia~
 
 
I never thought it would be this challenging to slow down and not travel for a month. I can truly say I have been challenged in this area because I am usually on the road where the wind is hitting my hair and my eyes are wide open for a new adventure. However, this month I have found myself stationary and listening to my own thoughts as they play on repeat. In this time of seclusion I had to face some internal issues and realize it does not feel so good. Sometimes when we are always running around, hiding and dodging our real thoughts we can never deal with the real issues. I realize living here in SC has been challenging for me mentally and emotionally because it is very slow and country but God has used this place to make me face myself. I understand that healing can never take place if I am always running and never slowing down to hear my thoughts. This particular moment in my life has taught me to be real with myself and face areas of my life where the pain still remains. I have realized there lies some internal issues that I have to confront and start working towards a resolution in order to start the healing process. If I am always around noise I can never hear the quiet voice on the inside of me. When you are always busy that does not accumulate to you being productive. Sometimes we stay busy to stop thinking about how hurt we are, how lonely we are or how much we need help. This month has been a time where God has challenged me to deal with issues and heal. Authenticity has everything to do with you being true to yourself and sometimes this can be the hardest thing to do. In my authentic journey I am faced with real issues that sometimes have been buried by my own disillusion. I told myself in 2013 I refuse to lie to myself in order for me heal. If we never slow down to face what lies on the surface of our souls we can never truly be free. Freedom comes when we make a decision that life is about being better not bitter and not allowing the residue of pain to sit. Once I made a decision to submit to slowing down and face the music I realize my healing is starting in areas that I never thought were still in pain. I challenge you today to slow down, face the music and hear your soul so you can heal. If you are always so busy and consumed you can never really listen to the voice that is trying to get your attention. In order to be healthy in your life you have to be willing to…Slow Down..Face The Pain…And Heal!