Be Bold.

In the rawest state I could finally see myself, my true self. No longer hiding behind weave extensions, braids or whatever I thought gave me beauty. I wanted to get back to the real me….the short hair me.

For as long as I known short hair has become a signature statement for me. I remember the first time the scissors hit my head at the young age of 15 in Detroit, where hair is a muse and a statement piece. I realized how much I identified with my short hair and how it gave me a boldness, sexiness and confidence to walk to the beat of my own drum.

Everytime I would try to grow my hair it really never worked out because I was always compelled to return to what really moved my soul…my short hair. I dated different guys who wanted me to grow my hair long and I attempted to do it; however, I never could fully commit to letting it grow. I found out that when you try to change the essence of who you are to please a man, society or whoever you lose your true identity.

So, again I found myself on this journey of growth, letting my hair grow back from an undercut hairstyle. This time I was seriously growing it back for myself because I wanted to have long hair. But I started to become tired of the weave extensions, weight being added to me. I did not want to hide anymore then there came an epiphany.

Guess what? Yep, I am sure you figured it out, I cut my hair again this year. I feel free, sexier, bolder and a little more confident to be me. I made a vow to myself to stop omitting pieces of myself, the things that make me who I am. I am proud to be a woman who can rock short hair. I believe short hair is beautiful and reveals the true beauty of a woman. Short hair is my natural state of being.

Recently, I read Alicia Key’s open letter on Lenny Letter  it was very inspiring as she discussed how she went through an evolution of letting go of the stereotypical ideas of beauty. She no longer wanted to hide behind all the things that made her different yet beautiful. I loved the letter because it resounded with my soul. We live in a society where being different can sometimes be looked down upon because being different is viewed as abnormal.

As I grow I have become bold in my conviction of being true to myself and not fitting into the status quo. Even, in love relationships I refuse to shrink who I am to be with a man who doesn’t love me for me. It has taken me a very long time to start loving myself and I can no longer comprise myself for the sake of others. I am aware that I matter; my happiness, peace of mind, my life and decisions matter. I can no longer settle for pieces of myself I need the whole version of me. When I show up whole then people are challenged to accept themselves too.

Tweet: Being bold is an act of bravery saying “this is who I am, take it or leave it”!

Reference: 
http://www.lennyletter.com/style/a410/alicia-keys-time-to-uncover/

Validate Yourself

She was in desperate need of validation, hemorrhaging from the need of other peoples approval of her life. She was waiting for someone to recognize her worth but she never understood she was the person who needed to validate herself. She wanted others to give her that confidence when all she had to do was believe in herself. She never realized other people did not need to approve of her greatness. She was oblivious to the fact she was already great. The funny thing is while she looked outside for answers everything she needed lied within; her own self-validation.

How often does this scenario sounds familiar? We wait diligently for someone else to validate our gift or talent instead of just creating our own opportunities in life. I, too use to exist on this side of the fence until I realize I never needed any one’s validation for my greatness or life. I would constantly spend my time explaining myself, asking friends for approval instead of realizing I am old enough, wise enough & smart enough to make choices. In retrospect, I was scared of being great because I felt it belittled others. How wrong I was?

When you spend years trying to wait on others to validate your existence you become bitter, angry and feel a sense of worthlessness.  If you start to believe in how great you are then you will not think so small of yourself. 

Below are a couple tips to help you learn the gift of self-validation.

Tip #1: Let go of negative self talk. We are always hard on ourselves but it is ok to lighten up on yourself. Speak words of love to yourself because you are doing the best you can.

Tip#2: Trust yourself. I know its hard to trust yourself when you have made so many mistakes in life but you are only human. Mistakes help you grow so never be scared to trust yourself. Don’t let fear keep you indecisive.  

Tip#3: Everything you need exist within. Although, you believe other people can validate your life understand they will only give you opinions according to their history or background in life. Never seek outside of yourself for what lies deep within. Everything you are destined to be lies within yourself.

Tip#4: Do more of what you love. When you begin to do more of what you love there is no room for misery or pity parties. Misery loves company so invite positive vibes subtract the negative.

Tip#5: If not now. When? If you never decide to live the life you deserve when will you do it. If you constantly wait on others to celebrate you, give you the boost you need or support you then you may be waiting for eternity. If you desire to do something or be something in your life stop waiting & believe you can do it now. 

Never give others the pleasure or power to tell you who you are and what you are worth. Validating your own greatness & life will give you a lifetime of freedom.