Five Ways To Unlock The Door To Your Happiness

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/zbpezkcy

Everyone wants to be happy, yet they find themselves aimlessly looking for happiness. Happiness is not attached to a specific person, place, or thing, but lasting joy is in your daily choices. Happiness is not attached to a specific person, place, or thing, but lasting happiness is a daily choice that is made. 

In the last four months of last year, I spent my life jumping the broom of my comfort zone & skydiving into living a life that made me happy, and the results have been inspiring. I spent thirteen years suppressing my happiness and living in a place I didn’t enjoy. Once my daughter graduated in 2020, I felt like my life was at a crossroads.

So at the end of Sept 2021, I decided to sell my home, take a 4-month road trip with my daughter, and live vicariously. And now I can honestly say I found the me that was lost behind grief, anger, and feelings of unworthiness. As I began my journey of inner fulfillment, I have learned that my choices are not contingent on others’ opinions but on godly guidance and personal desires.

Once you identify a clearer picture of your life’s happiness, then you can reevaluate the path you wish to take to obtain a joyful life. I have become a firm believer that everyone deserves to live a life filled with possibilities, exciting expectations, and opportunities. People who fear living a life true to their happiness will fall into following the crowd. 

Below are a few tips to help you unlock the door to your happiness on your terms!

Tip #1: Define your life happiness. Everyone has their own visual perception of what life they desire to live. Make sure you visualize the life you want and then take time to define your life’s happiness. 

Tip#2: Reevaluate your environment: Your environment plays a significant role in how your happiness will be destructive or constructive. If your environment drains your joy, it may be time to relocate.

Tip#3: Reevaluate the people: In your journey, you have to be willing to subtract people who put strain or stress on your positive development. It is not meant to allow everyone in your space. When you remove relationships that are not conducive to your growth, it helps you move in the direction of happiness quicker.

Tip#4: Exist outside your comfort zone: Nothing great can ever be developed in your comfort zone. Be willing to take chances and risk to stretch yourself. You never know what could make you happy if you are never willing to give it a try.

Tip 5# Take back your key & open the door. Do not let anyone disturb your peace or steal your joy. When you allow other’s indirect or direct behaviors to influence your happiness, you subconsciously give them the key. Your life happiness should not be contingent on what people do or do not do for you. 

Be bold enough to take back the key & unlock the door to your happiness!

A New Year Doesn’t Mean New You

Access podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/w7uxrcfj

With every New Year, we are excited about the idea of newness, new beginnings, and having a fresh start; however, we can naively believe a new year means a new us.

To become an exceptional version of who we are meant to be, we must first accept that the new year will not change our behaviors. Change starts with self-awareness of destructive patterns, which keep us in To become an exceptional version of who we are meant to be, we must first accept that the new year will not change our behaviors. . Our responsibility is to do the inner healing and work to produce a new us in each new year.

Below I have insightful questions you can ask yourself to peel back the layers of patterns that keep you from walking into the new year as a new you. (To create a more in-depth experience, journal your answers to the questions)

  1. What repetitive cycles have I carried into each new year?
  2. What intentional steps am I willing to take to create change?
  3. Who do I desire to become in the next year?
  4. What am I willing to let go of (people, places & things) to become an extraordinary version of myself?
  5. What one action step can I take today towards my future?

Wrapping up 2021: Lessons Learned

Access the podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/6xbjkm7d

Here are a couple lessons that I learned at the end of 2021:

  1. Growth is not perfection. Growth can be chaotic, messy & beautiful all at the same time, however, it is an individual choice to observe how the growing pains made you a better person.
  2. Don’t Take Other People Actions Personal. When you understand trying to control other’s is impossible, you find peace in letting them be who they are without judgment.
  3. New Beginnings Are Relevant.
    You can’t resurrect the past, but you can learn from it & create newer, richer experiences. So say goodbye to the old & welcome in the new.
  4. Happiness is a personal priority.
    Making your happiness a priority should be a priority. It is important not to outsource this responsibility to others.
  5. Settling is not an option.
    You don’t have to tolerate anything; it’s okay to say this is not for me and move on accordingly.

Living Your Life Well

Access this podcast episode: https://tinyurl.com/2p9yufjr

When I asked my twenty-year-old daughter how she would define living her life well, she summed it up in four categories: traveling, happiness, family & friends, and money. I thought this was intriguing because we all have different ways of defining living a good life. No one answer is right or wrong. However, as I experience life, I understand its gift and how living it well is essential.

After my youngest daughter’s death, I knew life was more than smoke and mirrors. I began to understand that life has white, black, and gray areas. However, it is up to me to bring some iridescent colors to this journey, even when external circumstances feel heavy. So how can we unlock the joy, add some technicolor and wipe the fears away?

Below are three ways you can begin to unlock the door of living well and making every moment memorable.

Steps To Living Well

  1. Let The Past Go. With a new year upon us we can be excited about the future, dwell in the present and know the past can be put to rest.
  2. Elevate Your Experiences. It is important to put yourself in new places to meet new faces & do something that will heighten your life experiences.
  3. Believe In Yourself. If you don’t have confidence in your own dreams and desires then you are hindering your own potential. When you believe in your ability to overcome challenges and face your fears you put yourself in a winning position.

7 Ways To Relax, Relate & Release During The Holiday Season

Access this podcast here: https://tinyurl.com/75avbdjn

The holiday season is a time of slowing down, resting & enjoying the present moment. However, the holidays are filled with dread for some because of the need to be a part of the holiday rush.

The holiday rush mentality is filled with the urge to be in the hustle and bustle; however, what if you adopt a new mindset of relaxing, relating & releasing your stress into the atmosphere.

Here are seven ways to relax under the holiday stress, relate to the emotions you feel & release them with ease.

  1. Journal the stress, doubts & anxiety away.
    My journal has become my therapist because I can express my concerns without judgment & organize my thoughts. Overall, journaling your thoughts can be therapeutic.
  2. Ask yourself the critical questions.
    Sometimes we can overthink ourselves into a frenzy, so realizing what is really important helps you get insight into the bigger picture.
  3. Do What Makes You Happy.
    What is logical to someone else may not work for you, so finding your balance is essential. Happiness is an inside job, so make sure you do the inner work to create your own place of joy.
  4. Let go of the knowing.
    We are curious human beings with a desire to know everything. But when you let go of control, you create a space for the unknown adventures to come to fruition.
  5. Make space for self-compassion.
    Sometimes we can be our worst critics, but taking time to create a space of grace for yourself will take the pressure off & eliminate the need to overextend yourself.
  6. Boundaries are boundless.
    There are no limits to the boundaries you need to make to keep your mental, emotional & spiritual well-being secure.
  7. Support systems save lives.
    Creating a healthy support system of family & friends will relieve some of the daily life pressures. Remember, no man can be an island & thrive by themselves. ReplyForward

There Is No Competition

You can access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/yzej4e8w

You: Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the best of them all?

Mirror: You are my darling.

What if we believed that we were the best instead of comparing ourselves with someone else?

In a show and tell world, we have become fixated with keeping up with the Joneses instead of concentrating on our own life. Social media has made it easy to play the game of comparison with strangers we never met. The small reel of a moment in someone’s life makes us question our whole existence. Why do we give social media, people & society so much power?

The concept of competing is ideal in sports, but it becomes messy when we start to feel like we are in competition with others. When we try to constantly keep up with the progression of others, we lose momentum in our life.

 I remember when I went through a period when I tried to help, coach, and counsel everyone else. My life was falling apart while others were thriving; from my advice, I became the poster child for fixing everyone’s life but my own. I began to feel depleted and used. And I realized people were only calling me to discard their problems on me. They felt better but I carried the emotional weight. Overall, I was enabling a toxic cycle in my life.

In the last couple of years, I have set boundaries, let go of toxic behavior and patterns while loving people from a distance. And I have decided to incorporate a life of minding my own business, which brings me peace. Although we reside in an oversaturated technology-induced world, we can still find ways to unplug from the virtual world and plug into our real life.

When we begin to assess what we don’t desire in our lives, we can build a life we love versus numbing out from a life we hate. 

Below are some basic ways you can let go of comparison & compete with becoming the best version of yourself.

  1. Mind Your Own Business. When you feel the need to give your opinion or advice, think before you speak and ask yourself, did the person ask for my opinion?  Here is a podcast episode where I discuss more on the concept of minding your own business & my journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw9AGLGturk  

2. Find Ways To Improve Your Life. Yes, it is tempting to scroll on social media, watch TV, judge celebrities and judge others but think about improving your life. Judging others is a reflection of your own insecurities. 

Here is a podcast episode where I discuss creating a life you love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX8MfWIU29E

3. More Focus & Less Distractions. Frequently we try to escape the unpleasant things in our life because we don’t want to face reality. However, if we let go of the temporary mindless distractions, we can meet each situation with grace and love. Here is a podcast episode where I discuss ways you can create an intentional life to stay focus & eliminate distractions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtGM_GKHp68

Creating An Intentional Year…

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The year 2020 has taken center stage, and everyone has made their goals, resolutions & vision boards. With the onset of January comes enthusiasm to make our dreams into reality. However, once February steps in, the spark begins to fizzle, and sticking to our vision fades. The dust starts to settle as we find ourselves back to the beginning waiting for a new year to create more goals, resolutions & vision boards.

Does this pattern sound familiar to you? If so, then it’s time to add intention to your year. According to Webster, dictionary intention is defined as an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. This definition can be translated as changing your mindset to create an effect to accomplish your goals. When you are intentional with your new year goals, visions, and more, you can create a year filled with productivity. Many times we go into the new year with the same mindset from the prior year, which generates an insanity cycle. Instead of producing a new year, we produce another monotonous year.

Below I have three simple tips to help you have an intentional 2020!

  1. Transform Your Mind. Before you can have a fabulous new year in this new decade and leap year, you have to be willing to let go of all negative things in your mind. Make a list of your old beliefs that did not serve you then write new beliefs that will help you accomplish your 2020 goals. (Note: Who do you need/have to become to make 2020 a “new” year?)
  2. Declutter without restraint. Letting go is hard, but things flow better when you make room for what you desire. When you declutter all areas of your life, it can help you gain clarity.  (Note: Do not resist letting go of people, places, and things that no longer serve your life.)
  3. Take Action. Dreams, goals and visions only become reality when you take action. Small actions eventually will measure bigger actions towards your goals. (Note: Fear, procrastination and making excuses are distractions to keep you from being intentional. Face the fears and replace them will faith and confidence in what you want to accomplish.)

Pursuing Your Dream

Pursuing Your Dream

 

How many times have you looked at your life and realize you are not living the life you desire? Did someone tell you that your dream was unattainable? Or did you let society dictate to you what was more important in your life?

When we are children, we believe we can be anything we desire to be in life. No matter how ridiculous our dreams may seem, as a child, we believe in our thoughts. As we shift into the teenage years, we start to let society dictate to us which journey will be profitable. We begin to focus on reality instead of the desire of our dreams.

The child inside of us starts to disappear because reality becomes more important than our childhood dreams. Our lives no longer hold enthusiasm or passion; instead, our adulthood has made us apathetic. We begin to forget about the vision we had to live a life full of wonder, passion, and excitement. Our dreams have become faint whispers needing a fresh breath. What can we do to resuscitate our passion for pursuing our dreams?

  • The first step to pursuing your dream is to reconnect with your childhood dreams. When I was young, I enjoyed writing, and I remember my Uncle Dave would always tell me I was going to be a famous writer. I remember in 2003 while living in Sicily, my love for writing reignited when I read Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Woman” for open mic night. Four years later, I published my first poetry book. The little girl on the inside of me reconnected back with my lifelong dream to become a writer. It was up to me to answer the call!
  • The second step is to write a list of the the things that stopped you from pursuing your dreams. After you recognize the roadblocks begin to write a list of possibilities of following your dreams. (For example: Roadblock: I stopped pursuing my dream of painting because I didn’t think I was a great artist. Possibility: I can start taking art classes at a local gallery to brush up on my artistic skills.)
  • The last step is to surround yourself around people who are living your dream. When you surround yourself around like-minded people you are building a community of support. When you have a support system it fosters a life filled with enjoyment, creativity and success.

So pursue the life you desire instead of burying your dreams. Dreams are meant to be lived out loud!!!

The Art of Being Fear-less!

fearless

Can you really be fearless? Is this concept even possible? In a world that profit off our fears, how can we FEAR-LESS!

One time in your life, you have struggled with or struggle with fear. Fear is something that paralyzes us from living our best life. For the past twelve years of my life, fear was my best friend. I often embraced it to stay mediocre, lingering in my comfort zone. I knew nothing unusual grew out of my comfort zone, but it was comfortable.

I allowed fear to keep me from making decisions because I was scared I would make the wrong ones. However, entertaining fear kept me from living the best versions of my life. I didn’t realize that indecision was a decision I made to live in mediocrity. My fears stemmed from the disappointment of my youngest daughter’s death. I wasn’t living, just existing. But something phenomenal happen, I stopped running from fear and began to face it.

How did I make this shift?

Well, this summer I went home to visit her grave. It was the beginning of self-empowerment, taking my power back and reclaiming my life. When I went to her grave, I no longer felt empty; instead, I felt close to her. For the first time in twelve years, I felt close to her, and this was the beginning of me learning the art of being fearless!

Below are three lessons I have learned on how to fear-less:

  • Admit Your Fears. Running away from your fears do not serve you, but, when you admit your fears, God can help you face them. Many times we stay busy to stop us from facing our fears. ( I didn’t want to face my grief, so I stayed busy for the last twelve years). 
  • Face Your Fears. When you start to face your fears, you realize that most of the fears you have are not real. F.E.A.R is false evidence appearing to be real. Facing your fears are uncomfortable, but it makes you a stronger person.
  • Live Life Abundantly. God wants you to live your life abundantly, but you can’t do that if fear runs your life. You have to be willing to let go of the weight for God to carry the burden.

So, I encourage you if you have lost a loved one in your life take the time to face how you feel so you can heal properly. We all have fears but in order to fear-less we have to face the fears head on!

 

 

Become the Picasso of Your Life

become the picasso of your life

In 2019, I realized to have a different year I needed to become the painter in my own life. So often I have allowed other people to paint their ideas, opinions, and theology for my life which resulted in forgery. Allowing others to paint on the canvas of your life causes fraudulent creations because you are letting them put their vision into action. It is essential to create a vision for your life and be the creator of it. When you put other people into the driver seat of your life it causes chaos. I am learning that when I have a vision, I can’t expect people to understand it or co-sign on it.

A vision is something that gives you clarity about the goals you want to accomplish. When you are not clear about the idea for your life society will cloud your judgment with their perspective. In 2019, it is time for you to take back the paintbrush and begin generating your life masterpiece.

Below I have three specific ways you can become the Picasso of your own life!

1.Create The Vision: Whether it is a vision board, vision journal or collage take the time to define your vision, this will help you see your goals clearly. Then you will be able to create action steps to accomplish them.

2.Stop Explaining Yourself: I have learned the hard way that sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut. When you prematurely share your dreams, aspirations or goals with others sometimes it can discourage you if their input is not what you wanted to hear. True, we want everyone to be excited about our goals, our life and dreams but understand everyone will not understand the blueprint of your life. God individually designed your life to fit you and others validation is never needed.

3.Creativity is Messy: Understand that the road of life is not a straight line but filled with dead ends, detours and u-turns. When you are handed a blank canvas to create the vision for your dream life know that being flexible is essential. Many artist create beautiful masterpieces by understanding the first stages are messy.

 

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How do you plan to become the Picasso of your life in 2019? (Leave your comment below…)