When you look at a rock you see nothing exciting or beautiful about its features. A rock has no human form, people would consider it to be cold and aloof. Yet a rock is apart of God’s creation just like a flower. However, we may say that a flower is more beautiful than a rock because of the outside features.
Nonetheless, just like a rock some people are hard on the outside yet beauty lies within. You never know what transpired in their life to make them bitter. Their bitterness is an accessory expressing their hurt.
I remember a period in my life where I accessorize bitterness. My heart was harden by traumatic experiences that happened. I was tired of life disappointing me over and over again. So, I created walls around my heart. I thought if I became emotionally unavailable then I would not get hurt. My elusive behavior kept me from love & fully living.
As I look back on my life I realize I was who I needed to be at that time. I understand that regretting who I was in the past does not serve me. I was raw, flawed and me. Those who saw me as a mess didn’t understand I was a rough draft. My blueprint of greatness was still pending.
Many times we judge ourselves for the raw version of who we are instead of being gentle with ourselves. When you are raw it forces you to be real; unrefined and unpolished. For instance, when a new singer produce their first album it is appealing because their vocals are unfiltered. Once they become commercialized they lose their authenticity; the record label want them to go with an image or sound that sells records versus talent. Growth is a beautiful thing but I never want to lose the thing that makes me relatable.
So, I urge you to be raw, be flawed & be you even if it is ugly right now. Don’t regret the rough draft you are at this moment. As you pursue a better version of yourself you will begin to peel back the blueprint so people can see you….the masterpiece!
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”~Henry David Thoreau~
Why is it when we get older we lose our imagination? We start to live life in reality and forget our childlike nature. It amazes me as we grow up we lose the sense of our imagination. When I was a child I had a dream of being a writer and traveling around the world. However, as I got older that dream began to shift to the background of my life. I started working hard for other people’s company giving their dream a 100% investment yet I had no time to nurture my dream.
Something hit me when I decided to write my first poetry book, I realized it was time to get back to what I loved doing. I have always been a writer and it came naturally for me since I was a child. I use to write plays, short stories, poems and so much more. I had one more year left in the military and I already knew I was not going to reenlist. I wanted to start living my passion and dream. In spite of all the personal setbacks that came my way I was determined to finish my book. So, In April of 2007 I self-published my first poetic work of literature. I was proud of myself and ended up being in the local military newspaper.
From this moment on I knew it was time to live my dream fully. I got tired of being burnt out building someone else’s empire. I had to get to a point where I became uncomfortable with giving my all to everyone else except myself. The last ten years has been a journey in pursuing what I love but I know it is worth it. I had some great days and some not so great days but I am proud of myself.
I have no desire to be enslaved to someone else’s idea of what success is for me. As I become wiser I understand I only have one life and spending it my way is important. I remember spending countless of hours marketing and sharing other people’s business and ideas across social media. Instantly, I stopped supporting those who were not supporting me because in the end it was draining. I deserve all the time, love and passion I freely give to others to give back to myself.
Now at this epic place in my life I am choosing me and my dreams. I want you to understand this one simple thing….your dreams should matter to you and making them tangible is important. It should not be enough for you to dream but making it a reality should be your life motivation.
Do not waste your entire life building someone else empire when you have an empire of your own to build. I challenge you today to get started on investing in yourself.
Wow, I can’t believe next week Sunday is my birthday. My 30’s journey has been a beautiful evolution of “self”. I have been able to spend the years of my thirties facing issues of my past, closing the door to my past, making intentional changes to my life and most of all becoming the woman I desire to be.
As a single mom I have endured many hardships and personal setbacks but my 30’s have been my years of reflection, refreshing, starting over again and creating the life I desire.
I have become comfortable in my own skin. I love the woman I have evolved into at this point in my life. However, I know the journey is a continuous process. I am excited about my future ahead.
Since, I am commemorating the last year of my 30’s, I am sharing 39 lessons with you I learned during my 30’s journey.
Here are the 39 lessons I learned in my 30’s:
1. Confidence. Confidence is something that starts within & it is something you work on everyday.
2. No validation needed. You are grown,stop asking for permission.
3. No is a complete sentence. Stop explaining yourself.
4. Mind your own business. It never matters what others are doing. Stay focused on your life.
5. No deprivation. Stop depriving yourself of the things you love & desire.
6. Know Your Worth. You have to know your worth to know what you deserve then you will stop giving discounts to people who undermine your quality.
7. Self-care is important. Self-care is about preservation. You have to put it into practice for all areas of your life (mental, emotional, financial, physical & spiritual).
8. Trust God.
9. Get out your own way.
10. Ask for help.
11. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can.
12. Stop procrastinating.
13. Do it afraid.
14. Get out your comfort zone.
15. Be your own best friend.
16. Speak up. You have a voice use it.
17. Stop chasing. You don’t have to chase a man, friends, people or dreams. All the things meant for you will come at the right time.
18. Travel somewhere new.
19. Date yourself.
20. Believe in yourself.
21. Do what is best for you.
22. Be unapologetic about your greatness.
22. Set boundaries.
23. Spend time with those that celebrate you not tolerate you.
24. Celebrate yourself.
25. Be patience.
26. Saunter through life.
27. Let things flow.
28. Detach yourself from the outcome.
29. Stop the comparison. When you learn to value your life you will feel no need to compare your life to others.
30. Have faith.
31. Smile often, Laugh more.
32. Have fun. Include more bliss, pleasure & enjoyment in your life.
33. Be ok with not being ok.
34. Be vulnerable.
35. Live life. Don’t just exist live your life alive.
36. Reinvent yourself.
38. Pursue your dreams. No matter how old you are you can always pursue the things you desire.
39. Be limitless. Don’t put limitations on your life.
When you think of the words “losing the weight” I am sure a flood of ideas come to your mind. These three words can be interpreted in various ways but, for me losing the weight has been my 2018 journey. In the last five months I have found myself lost in translation, no longer identifying with my old system of beliefs but embracing new beliefs. The things I allowed to define me no longer could fit into my new belief system.
Fear was a weight that held me back from living my best life. Once I began to lose the weight of fear I began to see my life unfold. When you allow fear to run your life you stay in a comfort zone. And you know nothing brilliant or great grows from comfort zones.
Below is a few ideas to help you lose the weight of fear:
1. Do It Afraid. In order to face your fears you have to be brave enough to do it in the midst of your fear.
2. Assess Your Beliefs. More than likely what you fear is not supported by truth or fact so let it go and collect new data. F.E.A.R is False Evidence Appearing Real!
3. Feed Faith, Starve Fears. In order to weaken the hold of fear you have to be willing to starve it and feed your life with faith which creates confidence.
4. Rock Confidence. Fear can’t reside where confidence overrides. In order to fear-less you have to believe in yourself. Confidence gives you the faith to conquer fear.
So, which idea will you use this week to help you lose the weight of fear. Comment below in the comment section…
In the last three months I can truly say I have been on an inner personal journey . I am learning how to face my fears, be vulnerable and communicate in an authentic way. Nonetheless, each journey has introduced me to a different me. I am evolving out of my cocoon and flourishing into a beautiful butterfly. I know as I evolve reinvention becomes an important part of the journey. Reinvention is the key to growth in life.
If you think about it companies are always reinventing their brands to appeal to different demographics. Companies take time to reassess what has worked for their brand and what has not worked for them. Just like a company, we should always reassess ourselves to see what methods in our lives are working and which ones need to be eliminated. Reinvention is the answer to transforming our lives into something new.
Below I will share three concepts on why reinventing yourself is so important.
1) Pain changes you. When we endure a tragedy in our lives it has the power to change us. I remember in 2007 when my two-year old daughter died it changed my life forever. The power of losing a loved one changed my perspective on life. Pain causes you to step back, assess your lose and recreate a better you.
2) Starting Over. Sometimes it is hard to start over but starting over gives you a new outlook on life. It opens you up to many possibilities of living a life of adventure.
3) Nothing grows from a comfort zone. If you find yourself frustrated, irritated or annoyed nine times out of ten you are outgrowing the space you occupy. Many people allow fear to keep them hostage to their comfort zone. The biggest thing I have learned is that comfort zones are great but nothing phenomenal or extraordinary grows out of them.
Pain, starting over and escaping your comfort zone are essential things that help you reinvent your life. Reinventing yourself is important so it can unlock extraordinary things. So today, I challenge you to evolve past the norm and be intentional about reinventing an area of your life that seems stagnant. Once you begin the process you will see life from a different perspective!
At the end of 2017, I learned a valuable lesson concerning the complexity of life. The lesson taught me to embrace all the things life has to offer. It is easy for us to celebrate the good things but can we rejoice in tribulation.
Everything we endure in life is meant to help us grow and expand our horizon. True, sometimes the difficult times make it hard to celebrate. But when life brings unexpected moments we have to realize the messy parts make life interesting.
The messy parts challenge us to see our lives as a perfect masterpiece curated by God. As our lives are designed by every path we begin to understand that it is an adventure.
Life’s adventures gives us the passion to experience each moment. Instead of rushing through the moments we start to saunter. Sauntering ignites self-awareness; being present in the moment. When we are totally present our senses become alive.
Whether good or bad life is an adventure worth experiencing. Without the experiences life beomes mundane. So, if your life seems hopeless right now just remember your next adventure is waiting. All you have to do is embrace it and enjoy the ride!
Today is the official last day of summer and for most of us it is just another day. However, I believe this is the best time to spend it in reflection. Reflecting is a great therapeutic tool to slow down and gather your thoughts. In this process you can reflect on the last nine months of this year. You might decide to reflect on goals that were achieved, relationships that ended, new things that have entered your life and where you want to be at by the end of 2017.
Reflection is a good way to look at the past, embrace the present and prepare for the future. As you prepare for the autumnal equinox take this day to sit back, sip your favorite beverage and revel in the beauty of Fall.
How do you plan to spend your last day of summer? (Leave your comments below)
Every now & then we need something to refresh our soul. So, often the routine of life becomes monotonous. We have to break free to give ourselves a fresh perspective. It is important to open ourselves to something different. For me, art refreshes my mind and helps me to see life in a creative way. What is it you do to refresh your soul? Below are a list of ways you can refresh your soul when you feel complacent.
*Visit your local art galleries
* Explore your local downtown scene.
* Do something different in the middle of the week.
* Book a flight spontaneously.
* Spend some alone time
* Read a book outside your normal genre
* Listen to some music
* Have a stimulating conversation with a stranger
* Plan a road trip
What would you add to this list? Reply in the comment section!
I believe there has been times in your life where you settled for less. Settling in any area of your life can be detrimental to your growth. Settling is synonymous to mediocrity and will keep you in a state of stagnancy.
When you begin to gain clarity in your life you will begin to raise the bar. But first it is important that you become aware of why you have settled for less. Below are five reasons to help you understand why you are settling for less in your life .
1) Fear. Many times we settle for less because of fear. We fear the unknown so we choose to stay in our comfort zone. However, nothing extraordinary ever grows from a comfort zone. So, it is important to let the fear go and launch out into the unknown. Life happens outside your comfort zone.
2) Uncertainty. Another reason we settle for less than we deserve is because we are unsure about what we want. If you are struggling with knowing what you want in your life it may be time to explore life. Exploring life will help you discover the things you may want in your life. When you go through a period of self-discovery it will expose you to the world. Each life experience we help you gain clarity on the life you truly want to live.
3) Impatience. When you are impatient it can make you miss out on your greatest life. Many people settle for less because they are too impatient to wait for what they really want in life. When you wait patiently for what you really want you alleviate unnecessary stress. So, wait patiently for what you want!
4) Not Knowing Your Worth. If you do not know your worth you will settle for the wrong things. If you do not spend time to build your self-worth, self-love, self-confidence and self-esteem you will discount your worth. I have learned in my life that people will treat you how you treat yourself. It is important to nurture love and confidence within yourself so you can recognize your worth.
5) Mediocrity. The last reason we settle in life because we become okay with mediocrity. We become comfortable with just existing instead of living a life to our fullest potential. Mediocrity keeps you stagnant and it creates procrastination. You will never be fulfilled with a mediocre life. So, let go of mediocrity so you can grab hold to an extraordinary life.
Action Tip: This week take some time to focus on how you can stop settling in your life by putting one of the five reasons into practice.
In the comments below share with me the reasons you have settled for less in your life.
I spent years playing the game of comparison wishing my life would magically change. I was not aware of the fact that I had the power to change my life. The choice lied within one simple decision that I needed to make.
Below is a list of ways you can create the life you love.
1. Be grateful.
2. Create a routine.
3. Break your routine.
4. Write down your goals.
5. Write down your dreams.
6. Be intentional.
7. Make a list of what you love to do.
8. Start doing what you love.
9. Be fearless.
10. Be kind.
11. Love more.
12. Be spontaneous.
13. Make yourself a priority.
14. Implement a self-care routine.
15. Be productive not busy.
18. Read more.
19. Smile more.
20. Look for serendipitous moments.
21. Be confident.
22. Spend money on things you love.
23. Make new friends.
24. Spend time with your loved ones.
25. Celebrate your life.
26. Say No often.
27. Don’t explain yourself to others.
28. Stop seeking validation.
29. Mind your own business.
30. Cultivate a sacred space for yourself.
31. Be mysterious.
32. Travel more.
33. Laugh Often.
34. Delete some people & things in your life.
35. Add some things & people in your life.