Elevating Through The Growing Pains

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/k6wtbh9w

It never feels good to feel discomfort, uneasiness or being out of your comfort zone; however, to soar to new levels in your life, you have to be willing to trek through the growing pains. Growing pains often stretch your capacity, build character and force you to face the uncomfortable. The biggest lesson I have learned is that growing pains is vital to your evolution. For example, I decided to stay with a friend after relocating, but the transition was challenging because my daughter and I gave up our privacy and personal space. And it was eye-opening because it revealed why living with friends can sometimes create pressure within the relationship. Overall, the journey made us stronger, wiser, and better along the way.

When life is challenging, it causes us to grow to a deeper level in our lives. We are encouraged to become a better version of ourselves. I believe growth happens when we take a leap of faith and decide to leave our comfort zones. Although my journey has come with stress, wins, and aha moments, I realize I would not be where I am today. Growing pains are never easy, but they are worth the evolution you experience mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Below are some tips you can apply to help you use your life challenges as stepping stones to an upgraded and elevated life.

  1. Be kind to yourself during the process. Sometimes the way we desire our life to transpire isn’t the way we experience it, so it is essential to be kind to yourself when life is not kind to you.
  2. Have Faith. Faith is having an unshakable trust and confidence in the intangible. When you exercise you faith in adverse situations it gives you the strength to move forward even when it is hard.
  3. Be better, not bitter. It is easy to be upset when people, things & circumstances are against you, but it is better to take every bad life experience as a lesson to create a more assertive character within yourself.
  4. Detach Yourself. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from people, environments, and situations that stunt our growth, contaminate our peace of mind, and violate our mental health. Detachment is a form of self-love.
  5. Evolve to Elevate. To upgrade your life, you have to be willing to evolve through all the hurt, pain, and joy that motivates you to become an extraordinary version of yourself.

Five Ways To Unlock The Door To Your Happiness

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/zbpezkcy

Everyone wants to be happy, yet they find themselves aimlessly looking for happiness. Happiness is not attached to a specific person, place, or thing, but lasting joy is in your daily choices. Happiness is not attached to a specific person, place, or thing, but lasting happiness is a daily choice that is made. 

In the last four months of last year, I spent my life jumping the broom of my comfort zone & skydiving into living a life that made me happy, and the results have been inspiring. I spent thirteen years suppressing my happiness and living in a place I didn’t enjoy. Once my daughter graduated in 2020, I felt like my life was at a crossroads.

So at the end of Sept 2021, I decided to sell my home, take a 4-month road trip with my daughter, and live vicariously. And now I can honestly say I found the me that was lost behind grief, anger, and feelings of unworthiness. As I began my journey of inner fulfillment, I have learned that my choices are not contingent on others’ opinions but on godly guidance and personal desires.

Once you identify a clearer picture of your life’s happiness, then you can reevaluate the path you wish to take to obtain a joyful life. I have become a firm believer that everyone deserves to live a life filled with possibilities, exciting expectations, and opportunities. People who fear living a life true to their happiness will fall into following the crowd. 

Below are a few tips to help you unlock the door to your happiness on your terms!

Tip #1: Define your life happiness. Everyone has their own visual perception of what life they desire to live. Make sure you visualize the life you want and then take time to define your life’s happiness. 

Tip#2: Reevaluate your environment: Your environment plays a significant role in how your happiness will be destructive or constructive. If your environment drains your joy, it may be time to relocate.

Tip#3: Reevaluate the people: In your journey, you have to be willing to subtract people who put strain or stress on your positive development. It is not meant to allow everyone in your space. When you remove relationships that are not conducive to your growth, it helps you move in the direction of happiness quicker.

Tip#4: Exist outside your comfort zone: Nothing great can ever be developed in your comfort zone. Be willing to take chances and risk to stretch yourself. You never know what could make you happy if you are never willing to give it a try.

Tip 5# Take back your key & open the door. Do not let anyone disturb your peace or steal your joy. When you allow other’s indirect or direct behaviors to influence your happiness, you subconsciously give them the key. Your life happiness should not be contingent on what people do or do not do for you. 

Be bold enough to take back the key & unlock the door to your happiness!

Wrapping up 2021: Lessons Learned

Access the podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/6xbjkm7d

Here are a couple lessons that I learned at the end of 2021:

  1. Growth is not perfection. Growth can be chaotic, messy & beautiful all at the same time, however, it is an individual choice to observe how the growing pains made you a better person.
  2. Don’t Take Other People Actions Personal. When you understand trying to control other’s is impossible, you find peace in letting them be who they are without judgment.
  3. New Beginnings Are Relevant.
    You can’t resurrect the past, but you can learn from it & create newer, richer experiences. So say goodbye to the old & welcome in the new.
  4. Happiness is a personal priority.
    Making your happiness a priority should be a priority. It is important not to outsource this responsibility to others.
  5. Settling is not an option.
    You don’t have to tolerate anything; it’s okay to say this is not for me and move on accordingly.

Living Your Life Well

Access this podcast episode: https://tinyurl.com/2p9yufjr

When I asked my twenty-year-old daughter how she would define living her life well, she summed it up in four categories: traveling, happiness, family & friends, and money. I thought this was intriguing because we all have different ways of defining living a good life. No one answer is right or wrong. However, as I experience life, I understand its gift and how living it well is essential.

After my youngest daughter’s death, I knew life was more than smoke and mirrors. I began to understand that life has white, black, and gray areas. However, it is up to me to bring some iridescent colors to this journey, even when external circumstances feel heavy. So how can we unlock the joy, add some technicolor and wipe the fears away?

Below are three ways you can begin to unlock the door of living well and making every moment memorable.

Steps To Living Well

  1. Let The Past Go. With a new year upon us we can be excited about the future, dwell in the present and know the past can be put to rest.
  2. Elevate Your Experiences. It is important to put yourself in new places to meet new faces & do something that will heighten your life experiences.
  3. Believe In Yourself. If you don’t have confidence in your own dreams and desires then you are hindering your own potential. When you believe in your ability to overcome challenges and face your fears you put yourself in a winning position.

7 Ways To Relax, Relate & Release During The Holiday Season

Access this podcast here: https://tinyurl.com/75avbdjn

The holiday season is a time of slowing down, resting & enjoying the present moment. However, the holidays are filled with dread for some because of the need to be a part of the holiday rush.

The holiday rush mentality is filled with the urge to be in the hustle and bustle; however, what if you adopt a new mindset of relaxing, relating & releasing your stress into the atmosphere.

Here are seven ways to relax under the holiday stress, relate to the emotions you feel & release them with ease.

  1. Journal the stress, doubts & anxiety away.
    My journal has become my therapist because I can express my concerns without judgment & organize my thoughts. Overall, journaling your thoughts can be therapeutic.
  2. Ask yourself the critical questions.
    Sometimes we can overthink ourselves into a frenzy, so realizing what is really important helps you get insight into the bigger picture.
  3. Do What Makes You Happy.
    What is logical to someone else may not work for you, so finding your balance is essential. Happiness is an inside job, so make sure you do the inner work to create your own place of joy.
  4. Let go of the knowing.
    We are curious human beings with a desire to know everything. But when you let go of control, you create a space for the unknown adventures to come to fruition.
  5. Make space for self-compassion.
    Sometimes we can be our worst critics, but taking time to create a space of grace for yourself will take the pressure off & eliminate the need to overextend yourself.
  6. Boundaries are boundless.
    There are no limits to the boundaries you need to make to keep your mental, emotional & spiritual well-being secure.
  7. Support systems save lives.
    Creating a healthy support system of family & friends will relieve some of the daily life pressures. Remember, no man can be an island & thrive by themselves. ReplyForward

Dwell In The Possibilities

You can access this episode here: https://tinyurl.com/2hra66mb

Life serves us with many distractions that lure us away from the things we desire to accomplish. The goal is to do less of what makes us miserable and more of what sets our soul on fire. How can we achieve this simple feat? What if we were brave enough to let go of our comfort zones and dwell in the possibilities of following the yellow brick road of dreams. Yes, this may seem impossible, but dwelling in the possibilities is about dreaming big, planning, and relinquishing control over the outcome.

It has only been three weeks since I sold my home and started my journey in road-tripping adventures. I have learned a lot about myself and strengthening my relationship with my daughter in these short weeks. I can’t believe this has brought us joy, laughter, and small lessons along the way. Although the journey has been scary, it has taught me the power of dwelling in the possibilities. What does it mean to dwell in the possibilities? Well, it can mean multiple things however, the core of this belief system is about optimism. When we stay optimistic in spite of external situations, we can stay hopeful for serendipitous moments. 

If you are ready to break some miserable cycles in your life and dive into the possibilities follow the yellow brick road to the steps below:

  1. Detox yourself from your comfort zone.  Nothing grows from a comfort zone, so you have to be willing to let go of the past, stop revisiting those familiar people, places, and things. And enhance your spiritual well-being. 
  2. Distractions are oxymorons. Sometimes distractions can take you left or right. However, you have to determine no matter the disruption; everything is working out in your favor.
  3. Wander into the Wild. If you are bold enough to kiss the past goodbye, it will introduce you to a new hello. When you wander from the familiar, it will give you the gift of hope that leads to the possibilities of an unbelievable life.

Are you ready to dwell into the possibilities of your life?

Be Okay With Uncertainty…

Access podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/yu9ufz57

The beauty about uncertainty is no matter how well we plan, there will always be question marks on how the journey will unfold. Sometimes we allow the fear of the unknown to keep us from pursuing our dreams and the life we constantly desired to live. However, if we focus on the journey instead of the destination, we will realize that embracing the hidden parts will help us accept life’s adventures.

Currently, I am going through an unfamiliar phase in my life, and it has taught me how to embrace the unknown. Sometimes we feel as if we need to know how everything will turn out, but in reality, we have no idea how life will unfold.

As I go through this new normal many emotions, appear from happiness, fear, excitement, and anxiety. However, I am enjoying this unpredictable place because it has given me confidence, courage, and resilience to move forward. I am self-assured that the answers will come, and everything will fall into place.

I have learn no matter how many plans you make, life will teach you how to be flexible. The flexibility provides an atmosphere of freedom but it can make you feel powerless. We fear the unknown because it forces us out of our comfort zone. And significant changes happen when we are in unfamiliar territory. When you can embrace the uncertainty, then you will encounter countless adventures in your life. 

Here are three ways to embrace uncertainty:

1. Make plans but be flexible. 

2. Let go of the need to have all the answers. Life is an adventure when you are open to the flow & knowing everything will work out.

3. Don’t settle. A lot of people settle for the familiar because they are not willing to be uncomfortable. However, if you desire to live your dream life taking risk are a prerequisite.

How To Live Life On Your Terms…

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/ch26a35u

If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story. ~Terry Pratchett~

Are you willing to live life the way you want or conform to society’s standards on how your life should be?

The above question is something I had to ask myself after I finished my military career. I knew I no longer cared to live my life by society’s metric of what is called “The American Dream,” but I wanted to live the life of my dreams. I knew doing things the conventional way would not work for me in the pursuit of living my dreams. So I had to learn how to create my own rules and break some rules to live my life on my own terms.

When we are born, we enter the world full of wonder, hopes, and aspirations, yet as we get older, we spend much of our time trying to live a life to please others. Young children have no shame in telling you who and what they want to be when they grow up. However, it is our adult cynicism that destroys our childlike imagination. Instead, we tell our children and ourselves “to be realistic” about their careers and life.

In reality, you are the protagonist (main character) in the story of your life, and it is your job to keep the storyline centered around your desires, dreams, and hopes. If you are not willing to build the life that fits you, other people will start to dictate what is best for your life. Overall, we should strive to live a life that we are proud of and exemplifies our genuine nature.

If you are ready and willing to live life on your own terms, understand it will be a life filled with unexpected adventures and moments. But I would rather live my life the way I wanted versus water down version of someone’s else idea of my life.

If you are ready to let go of the mediocre to jump into the extraordinary, then below, I have three simple ways to assist you in living life on your own terms.

  1. Assess your values, priorities, and desires in your life in this present moment. (What do you really want your life to look like, and how do you want to feel?)
  2. Align your values, priorities, and desires with your authentic nature. (Who do you want to be when you grow up?) (childlike mindset)
  3. Action: Create some intentional action steps to plan the direction you need to start living your authentic life & begin to implement those steps. 

There Is No Competition

You can access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/yzej4e8w

You: Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the best of them all?

Mirror: You are my darling.

What if we believed that we were the best instead of comparing ourselves with someone else?

In a show and tell world, we have become fixated with keeping up with the Joneses instead of concentrating on our own life. Social media has made it easy to play the game of comparison with strangers we never met. The small reel of a moment in someone’s life makes us question our whole existence. Why do we give social media, people & society so much power?

The concept of competing is ideal in sports, but it becomes messy when we start to feel like we are in competition with others. When we try to constantly keep up with the progression of others, we lose momentum in our life.

 I remember when I went through a period when I tried to help, coach, and counsel everyone else. My life was falling apart while others were thriving; from my advice, I became the poster child for fixing everyone’s life but my own. I began to feel depleted and used. And I realized people were only calling me to discard their problems on me. They felt better but I carried the emotional weight. Overall, I was enabling a toxic cycle in my life.

In the last couple of years, I have set boundaries, let go of toxic behavior and patterns while loving people from a distance. And I have decided to incorporate a life of minding my own business, which brings me peace. Although we reside in an oversaturated technology-induced world, we can still find ways to unplug from the virtual world and plug into our real life.

When we begin to assess what we don’t desire in our lives, we can build a life we love versus numbing out from a life we hate. 

Below are some basic ways you can let go of comparison & compete with becoming the best version of yourself.

  1. Mind Your Own Business. When you feel the need to give your opinion or advice, think before you speak and ask yourself, did the person ask for my opinion?  Here is a podcast episode where I discuss more on the concept of minding your own business & my journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw9AGLGturk  

2. Find Ways To Improve Your Life. Yes, it is tempting to scroll on social media, watch TV, judge celebrities and judge others but think about improving your life. Judging others is a reflection of your own insecurities. 

Here is a podcast episode where I discuss creating a life you love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX8MfWIU29E

3. More Focus & Less Distractions. Frequently we try to escape the unpleasant things in our life because we don’t want to face reality. However, if we let go of the temporary mindless distractions, we can meet each situation with grace and love. Here is a podcast episode where I discuss ways you can create an intentional life to stay focus & eliminate distractions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtGM_GKHp68

How To Be A Misfit In A World Full of Copycats….

You can listen to this episode here: https://tinyurl.com/2rucym9m

Same thoughts, ideas, body types, looks & hair, a world that encourages duplication versus originality has become a place filled with clones. Diversity shouldn’t be limited to a person’s race or culture, but variety includes all types of people from different backgrounds, mindsets, and philosophies. The world becomes a beautiful place when everyone is inspired to embrace their inner genius. 

Embracing your genius can make others classify you as a weirdo, quirky, rebel, or misfit. However, these classifications are an indication of society’s misunderstanding of who you really are. In the webster’s dictionary, the word misfit is best described as a person who is not suited or cannot adjust to the circumstances of his or her particular situation. I define a misfit as a person who doesn’t allow their environment to dictate who or what they should be in the world.

When you think about the word icon or legend, I am sure you think of a person who defied the odds, created and broke some rules in their life’s journey. I believe the world becomes predictable and boring when we try to fit everyone into the same model. The beauty of life is breaking the rules, creating your own rules, and living life on your own terms.

Below I have a couple of tips on how you can embrace your inner misfit, break the rules and be the outcast you were truly meant to be.

  1. Recognize your unique abilities. Spend time on learning the things that make you different or set apart.
  2. Tap into your inner genius. We all have a hidden inner genius; however, many of us don’t take the time to figure out how our mind works.
  3. Be okay with being misunderstood. The best way to be embrace who you are is by going on a journey of discovery with self-love, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.