Treat Yourself Like Royalty (Part 1/3)

Before you can understand how beautiful, complex and intricate you are first you have to break open all those lies you have believed about yourself.

When was the last time you believed positive things about yourself and had someone affirm those positive things?

Lately, I have been reflecting on the painful words people spoke about me. And the saddest part is I started to believe the lies about how other people saw me. I began to see myself in the image of others’ opinions, manipulative comments, and misconceptions.

However, I realized it was generating self-hate. I began to believe that I was not enough or not worthy of good things. I was starting to settle for friendships, relationships, and living a life beneath my standards.

Recently, I had an epiphany about how I was not seeing myself in a clear light, the way God saw me, and the person I am. I knew it was time to let go of the lies, toxic thoughts, and self-hate. Before starting this royal process, I knew digging up unhealthy beliefs was the first step to seeing my royal image.

Before starting your royal journey, here are a few things to start your process.

  1. Write a list of ten negative things people have said about you and circle all the ones you start to believe about yourself.
  2. Now make a list of ten good things you think about yourself.
  3. Ask this question: Are the adverse/toxic people still in your life who said negative things? If so, then why are they in your life? (journal your answer)
  4. Another question: How can you disconnect from people who make you feel bad about yourself? (journal your answer)
  5. Ways you can rebuild your self-confidence/self-esteem & self-image:
  • Therapy 
  • Personal Development (books, find supportive communities, join memberships/clubs that foster your enjoyment & passions)
  • Get a life coach
  • Prayer/Meditation

Three Ways To Revive Your Mind, Body & Soul

How often do you check in with yourself?

Have you been feeling out of alignment?

If so, maybe it is time to revive your mind, body, and soul. Often we let days, months, and years pass before we decide to reconnect with our inner being. And we find ourselves out of alignment after feeling the pangs of overwhelm, stress, or burnout. Life can feel rough, leading to dead ends and taking us off the path we desire to go. However, reconnecting to the spirit within can lead us to a road of fulfillment to get back on track.

In the last five months, my life has felt out of balance. Somewhere between relocating, dealing with unnecessary drama, and settling in a new place has made me feel abnormal. However, last week was the first time I felt like my life was taking a turn in a positive direction. The positive direction was a sign of everything calming down in my life. And I began to realize how reestablishing self-care routines, spending alone time, and creating a schedule for well-being is vital.

When we take a daily inventory of our emotions, we will bring awareness back to ourselves—spending more time reconnecting and disconnecting from things that disrupt us from living a well-balanced life.

Below are three powerful ways you get back in alignment, find fulfullment and honor your soul within.

  • Put Yourself First. This new self-care movement has everyone finding ways to fill up their cup, but surface self-care isn’t enough. When you are intentional about asking specific questions to gain clarity, you will find that putting your needs (mental, emotional, spiritual, etc.) first will assist in moving in the direction of alignment.
  • Go M.I.A. It is okay to disappear and not feel like you need to be in the midst of everything. When you take the time to regroup, it allows you to see things from a better perspective.
  • Slow Down. When our life is disoriented taking time to slow down can guide us back to our place of fulfillment.

If you desire to reconnect with your mind, body & soul check out my free ebook on creating a self-care plan.

Working on Your On Your Vibe, Energy & Spirit

Access the podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/2p8vvzhp


The words vibe, energy, and spirit are synonymous terms used to describe our inner being. Our internal self is comprised of our heart, spirit and soul. It is vital to create our inner being to attract the things meant for us. However, many of us look externally to get the things we need, whether trying to find happiness, love, acceptance, and peace in a person, place, or thing. We set ourselves up for mental and emotional disaster when we seek outside validation.

The world we live in glorifies the external successes, gains, and materials, but inside, we may fail to love ourselves, accept, and feel worthy. I have learned throughout my life that nothing externally can fulfill me until I look within myself. Yes, we all look for external validation from other’s to feel accepted, but immense acceptance is loving yourself and the life you create. This year I have concluded that liking myself and loving what I do is the ultimate success; everyone else enjoying my presence is a bonus. I have become comfortable with accepting others’ rejection of me. Overall, self-acceptance is a goal that we all should strive for to perfect within ourselves.

Below are three ways to help you vibrate higher to attract the people, places, and things you desire in your life by healing internally.

  • It All Starts With You. When we work on ourselves we become in tune with what changes can be made.
  • Implement New Things. Surround yourself with new people and environments to match you spiritually as well as energetically. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
  • Give Yourself & Others Space. In life, we will outgrow others, and they will outgrow us. When we give ourselves the space and grace to let go of people who have expired in our lives, we make room for new opportunities. 

Elevating Through The Growing Pains

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/k6wtbh9w

It never feels good to feel discomfort, uneasiness or being out of your comfort zone; however, to soar to new levels in your life, you have to be willing to trek through the growing pains. Growing pains often stretch your capacity, build character and force you to face the uncomfortable. The biggest lesson I have learned is that growing pains is vital to your evolution. For example, I decided to stay with a friend after relocating, but the transition was challenging because my daughter and I gave up our privacy and personal space. And it was eye-opening because it revealed why living with friends can sometimes create pressure within the relationship. Overall, the journey made us stronger, wiser, and better along the way.

When life is challenging, it causes us to grow to a deeper level in our lives. We are encouraged to become a better version of ourselves. I believe growth happens when we take a leap of faith and decide to leave our comfort zones. Although my journey has come with stress, wins, and aha moments, I realize I would not be where I am today. Growing pains are never easy, but they are worth the evolution you experience mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Below are some tips you can apply to help you use your life challenges as stepping stones to an upgraded and elevated life.

  1. Be kind to yourself during the process. Sometimes the way we desire our life to transpire isn’t the way we experience it, so it is essential to be kind to yourself when life is not kind to you.
  2. Have Faith. Faith is having an unshakable trust and confidence in the intangible. When you exercise you faith in adverse situations it gives you the strength to move forward even when it is hard.
  3. Be better, not bitter. It is easy to be upset when people, things & circumstances are against you, but it is better to take every bad life experience as a lesson to create a more assertive character within yourself.
  4. Detach Yourself. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from people, environments, and situations that stunt our growth, contaminate our peace of mind, and violate our mental health. Detachment is a form of self-love.
  5. Evolve to Elevate. To upgrade your life, you have to be willing to evolve through all the hurt, pain, and joy that motivates you to become an extraordinary version of yourself.

Five Ways To Unlock The Door To Your Happiness

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/zbpezkcy

Everyone wants to be happy, yet they find themselves aimlessly looking for happiness. Happiness is not attached to a specific person, place, or thing, but lasting joy is in your daily choices. Happiness is not attached to a specific person, place, or thing, but lasting happiness is a daily choice that is made. 

In the last four months of last year, I spent my life jumping the broom of my comfort zone & skydiving into living a life that made me happy, and the results have been inspiring. I spent thirteen years suppressing my happiness and living in a place I didn’t enjoy. Once my daughter graduated in 2020, I felt like my life was at a crossroads.

So at the end of Sept 2021, I decided to sell my home, take a 4-month road trip with my daughter, and live vicariously. And now I can honestly say I found the me that was lost behind grief, anger, and feelings of unworthiness. As I began my journey of inner fulfillment, I have learned that my choices are not contingent on others’ opinions but on godly guidance and personal desires.

Once you identify a clearer picture of your life’s happiness, then you can reevaluate the path you wish to take to obtain a joyful life. I have become a firm believer that everyone deserves to live a life filled with possibilities, exciting expectations, and opportunities. People who fear living a life true to their happiness will fall into following the crowd. 

Below are a few tips to help you unlock the door to your happiness on your terms!

Tip #1: Define your life happiness. Everyone has their own visual perception of what life they desire to live. Make sure you visualize the life you want and then take time to define your life’s happiness. 

Tip#2: Reevaluate your environment: Your environment plays a significant role in how your happiness will be destructive or constructive. If your environment drains your joy, it may be time to relocate.

Tip#3: Reevaluate the people: In your journey, you have to be willing to subtract people who put strain or stress on your positive development. It is not meant to allow everyone in your space. When you remove relationships that are not conducive to your growth, it helps you move in the direction of happiness quicker.

Tip#4: Exist outside your comfort zone: Nothing great can ever be developed in your comfort zone. Be willing to take chances and risk to stretch yourself. You never know what could make you happy if you are never willing to give it a try.

Tip 5# Take back your key & open the door. Do not let anyone disturb your peace or steal your joy. When you allow other’s indirect or direct behaviors to influence your happiness, you subconsciously give them the key. Your life happiness should not be contingent on what people do or do not do for you. 

Be bold enough to take back the key & unlock the door to your happiness!

7 Ways To Relax, Relate & Release During The Holiday Season

Access this podcast here: https://tinyurl.com/75avbdjn

The holiday season is a time of slowing down, resting & enjoying the present moment. However, the holidays are filled with dread for some because of the need to be a part of the holiday rush.

The holiday rush mentality is filled with the urge to be in the hustle and bustle; however, what if you adopt a new mindset of relaxing, relating & releasing your stress into the atmosphere.

Here are seven ways to relax under the holiday stress, relate to the emotions you feel & release them with ease.

  1. Journal the stress, doubts & anxiety away.
    My journal has become my therapist because I can express my concerns without judgment & organize my thoughts. Overall, journaling your thoughts can be therapeutic.
  2. Ask yourself the critical questions.
    Sometimes we can overthink ourselves into a frenzy, so realizing what is really important helps you get insight into the bigger picture.
  3. Do What Makes You Happy.
    What is logical to someone else may not work for you, so finding your balance is essential. Happiness is an inside job, so make sure you do the inner work to create your own place of joy.
  4. Let go of the knowing.
    We are curious human beings with a desire to know everything. But when you let go of control, you create a space for the unknown adventures to come to fruition.
  5. Make space for self-compassion.
    Sometimes we can be our worst critics, but taking time to create a space of grace for yourself will take the pressure off & eliminate the need to overextend yourself.
  6. Boundaries are boundless.
    There are no limits to the boundaries you need to make to keep your mental, emotional & spiritual well-being secure.
  7. Support systems save lives.
    Creating a healthy support system of family & friends will relieve some of the daily life pressures. Remember, no man can be an island & thrive by themselves. ReplyForward

Be Okay With Uncertainty…

Access podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/yu9ufz57

The beauty about uncertainty is no matter how well we plan, there will always be question marks on how the journey will unfold. Sometimes we allow the fear of the unknown to keep us from pursuing our dreams and the life we constantly desired to live. However, if we focus on the journey instead of the destination, we will realize that embracing the hidden parts will help us accept life’s adventures.

Currently, I am going through an unfamiliar phase in my life, and it has taught me how to embrace the unknown. Sometimes we feel as if we need to know how everything will turn out, but in reality, we have no idea how life will unfold.

As I go through this new normal many emotions, appear from happiness, fear, excitement, and anxiety. However, I am enjoying this unpredictable place because it has given me confidence, courage, and resilience to move forward. I am self-assured that the answers will come, and everything will fall into place.

I have learn no matter how many plans you make, life will teach you how to be flexible. The flexibility provides an atmosphere of freedom but it can make you feel powerless. We fear the unknown because it forces us out of our comfort zone. And significant changes happen when we are in unfamiliar territory. When you can embrace the uncertainty, then you will encounter countless adventures in your life. 

Here are three ways to embrace uncertainty:

1. Make plans but be flexible. 

2. Let go of the need to have all the answers. Life is an adventure when you are open to the flow & knowing everything will work out.

3. Don’t settle. A lot of people settle for the familiar because they are not willing to be uncomfortable. However, if you desire to live your dream life taking risk are a prerequisite.

How To Live Life On Your Terms…

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/ch26a35u

If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story. ~Terry Pratchett~

Are you willing to live life the way you want or conform to society’s standards on how your life should be?

The above question is something I had to ask myself after I finished my military career. I knew I no longer cared to live my life by society’s metric of what is called “The American Dream,” but I wanted to live the life of my dreams. I knew doing things the conventional way would not work for me in the pursuit of living my dreams. So I had to learn how to create my own rules and break some rules to live my life on my own terms.

When we are born, we enter the world full of wonder, hopes, and aspirations, yet as we get older, we spend much of our time trying to live a life to please others. Young children have no shame in telling you who and what they want to be when they grow up. However, it is our adult cynicism that destroys our childlike imagination. Instead, we tell our children and ourselves “to be realistic” about their careers and life.

In reality, you are the protagonist (main character) in the story of your life, and it is your job to keep the storyline centered around your desires, dreams, and hopes. If you are not willing to build the life that fits you, other people will start to dictate what is best for your life. Overall, we should strive to live a life that we are proud of and exemplifies our genuine nature.

If you are ready and willing to live life on your own terms, understand it will be a life filled with unexpected adventures and moments. But I would rather live my life the way I wanted versus water down version of someone’s else idea of my life.

If you are ready to let go of the mediocre to jump into the extraordinary, then below, I have three simple ways to assist you in living life on your own terms.

  1. Assess your values, priorities, and desires in your life in this present moment. (What do you really want your life to look like, and how do you want to feel?)
  2. Align your values, priorities, and desires with your authentic nature. (Who do you want to be when you grow up?) (childlike mindset)
  3. Action: Create some intentional action steps to plan the direction you need to start living your authentic life & begin to implement those steps. 

How To Be A Misfit In A World Full of Copycats….

You can listen to this episode here: https://tinyurl.com/2rucym9m

Same thoughts, ideas, body types, looks & hair, a world that encourages duplication versus originality has become a place filled with clones. Diversity shouldn’t be limited to a person’s race or culture, but variety includes all types of people from different backgrounds, mindsets, and philosophies. The world becomes a beautiful place when everyone is inspired to embrace their inner genius. 

Embracing your genius can make others classify you as a weirdo, quirky, rebel, or misfit. However, these classifications are an indication of society’s misunderstanding of who you really are. In the webster’s dictionary, the word misfit is best described as a person who is not suited or cannot adjust to the circumstances of his or her particular situation. I define a misfit as a person who doesn’t allow their environment to dictate who or what they should be in the world.

When you think about the word icon or legend, I am sure you think of a person who defied the odds, created and broke some rules in their life’s journey. I believe the world becomes predictable and boring when we try to fit everyone into the same model. The beauty of life is breaking the rules, creating your own rules, and living life on your own terms.

Below I have a couple of tips on how you can embrace your inner misfit, break the rules and be the outcast you were truly meant to be.

  1. Recognize your unique abilities. Spend time on learning the things that make you different or set apart.
  2. Tap into your inner genius. We all have a hidden inner genius; however, many of us don’t take the time to figure out how our mind works.
  3. Be okay with being misunderstood. The best way to be embrace who you are is by going on a journey of discovery with self-love, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.

Refueling Your Joy

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/4pf9xjkp

Often in life, we will encounter difficult moments that will take us off course and knock us out of the game. However, in the low moments, you can take this time to reflect and give yourself time to process through the heartache or heartbreaks of life.

In America, we are condition to believe that it is our doing and constantly moving that keeps us going, but in our stillness, we can allow our joy to be refreshed, our minds to gain clarity, and our souls to be renewed. Recently, I realize all the difficult moments that transpired in my life this month indicated how much I needed to slow down. The fiery darts of life wounded my joy, and I know spending time to heal, process, and regain my happiness is paramount. I am giving myself permission to have self-compassion, revel in my humanness and unplug.

The greatest lesson I have learned this month is no matter how strong you are, give yourself time to process the losses, pain, and irritations of life. Moving forward doesn’t always look like being in a mindset of doing something, but laying down and processing is a part of the journey.

Below I created a couple concepts that will help you regain your peace of mind and refuel your joy for the better.

  • Unplug. Take time to reflect, heal & recharge from the difficult moments.
  • Make a joy list. Make a list of all the things that spark your joy and make you feel alive.
  • Be Transparent. Be real about how you feel (decipher your emotions by journaling, therapy, talking to someone close to you, etc.).
  • Give Yourself Time. Take it slow & don’t allow anything or anyone to rush your healing process.