The Art of Being Fear-less!

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Can you really be fearless? Is this concept even possible? In a world that profit off our fears, how can we FEAR-LESS!

One time in your life, you have struggled with or struggle with fear. Fear is something that paralyzes us from living our best life. For the past twelve years of my life, fear was my best friend. I often embraced it to stay mediocre, lingering in my comfort zone. I knew nothing unusual grew out of my comfort zone, but it was comfortable.

I allowed fear to keep me from making decisions because I was scared I would make the wrong ones. However, entertaining fear kept me from living the best versions of my life. I didn’t realize that indecision was a decision I made to live in mediocrity. My fears stemmed from the disappointment of my youngest daughter’s death. I wasn’t living, just existing. But something phenomenal happen, I stopped running from fear and began to face it.

How did I make this shift?

Well, this summer I went home to visit her grave. It was the beginning of self-empowerment, taking my power back and reclaiming my life. When I went to her grave, I no longer felt empty; instead, I felt close to her. For the first time in twelve years, I felt close to her, and this was the beginning of me learning the art of being fearless!

Below are three lessons I have learned on how to fear-less:

  • Admit Your Fears. Running away from your fears do not serve you, but, when you admit your fears, God can help you face them. Many times we stay busy to stop us from facing our fears. ( I didn’t want to face my grief, so I stayed busy for the last twelve years). 
  • Face Your Fears. When you start to face your fears, you realize that most of the fears you have are not real. F.E.A.R is false evidence appearing to be real. Facing your fears are uncomfortable, but it makes you a stronger person.
  • Live Life Abundantly. God wants you to live your life abundantly, but you can’t do that if fear runs your life. You have to be willing to let go of the weight for God to carry the burden.

So, I encourage you if you have lost a loved one in your life take the time to face how you feel so you can heal properly. We all have fears but in order to fear-less we have to face the fears head on!

 

 

3 ways To Create A Memorable Summer!

 

Summer

With summer coming many people are excited about vacation and spending time with their family. However, I am passionate about creating memorable moments with my daughter. Although I am going to visit my family, I have decided to shorten my trip and plan smaller trips throughout the summer for my daughter and me to enjoy. It is so easy to get caught up in focusing on visiting so many people during your time off, however, what is more, important you planning trips that make you happy this summer even if it means disappointing others. Vacation is about unplugging from your routine and creating memories that will last a lifetime.

My main focus this summer will be unplugging from social media, reading books I love and being present in the moment. We can produce the most fabulous things when we focus on the present moment.

Below are three ways to create a memorable summer:

1. Unplug. The present moment is the most important moment in our lives. This summer take the time to take a break from social media and savor the memories.

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2. Do what makes your soul happy. Too often we spend endless summers traveling to see family but have not schedule time to do what we desire. Make sure you schedule a personal trip in for yourself this summer, you deserve it!

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3.  Create Memories That Last For A Lifetime. Spend this summer exploring new places and spaces to produce memories that will last forever. The goal is to spend money on experiences not things.

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So, I challenge you this summer to do what makes you happy, focus on the present moment and create memories that will last forever!

Become the Picasso of Your Life

become the picasso of your life

In 2019, I realized to have a different year I needed to become the painter in my own life. So often I have allowed other people to paint their ideas, opinions, and theology for my life which resulted in forgery. Allowing others to paint on the canvas of your life causes fraudulent creations because you are letting them put their vision into action. It is essential to create a vision for your life and be the creator of it. When you put other people into the driver seat of your life it causes chaos. I am learning that when I have a vision, I can’t expect people to understand it or co-sign on it.

A vision is something that gives you clarity about the goals you want to accomplish. When you are not clear about the idea for your life society will cloud your judgment with their perspective. In 2019, it is time for you to take back the paintbrush and begin generating your life masterpiece.

Below I have three specific ways you can become the Picasso of your own life!

1.Create The Vision: Whether it is a vision board, vision journal or collage take the time to define your vision, this will help you see your goals clearly. Then you will be able to create action steps to accomplish them.

2.Stop Explaining Yourself: I have learned the hard way that sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut. When you prematurely share your dreams, aspirations or goals with others sometimes it can discourage you if their input is not what you wanted to hear. True, we want everyone to be excited about our goals, our life and dreams but understand everyone will not understand the blueprint of your life. God individually designed your life to fit you and others validation is never needed.

3.Creativity is Messy: Understand that the road of life is not a straight line but filled with dead ends, detours and u-turns. When you are handed a blank canvas to create the vision for your dream life know that being flexible is essential. Many artist create beautiful masterpieces by understanding the first stages are messy.

 

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How do you plan to become the Picasso of your life in 2019? (Leave your comment below…)

3 Simple Ways to Make 2019 Your Best Year…

3 Simple Ways To make 2019 Your Best Year....

With the excitement of a new year comes resolutions, goals, and everything under the sun to make 2019 your best year. However, I have three simple ways you can make 2019 a year of ease.

Step 1: Mind Your Own Business.

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Life is so much easier when you learn to focus on your own life and tune into the present moment. When you focus on fine-tuning your life, you will find no time to be worried about what others are doing including obsessing on what other people are posting on social media. You will be able to accomplish your goals quicker and see the beauty in your life.

Step 2: Stay on Energy Saving Mode…

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So often we are exhausted and burnt out from fighting battles that are not our fight. We spend too much energy overthinking, fearing and obsessing over things that create distress.  We feel the need to give our opinion to every situation just to be consumed with other’s problems. When you preserve your power for the essential things in your life, you will be at peace. Exhaustion, stress, worry, and anxiety will slowly drift aside when you put your emotions on energy saving mode.

Step 3: Don’t Join The Circus….

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Every clown or court jester that begs for your attention does not need to be entertain. Two thousand nineteen is not the year to sign up for anyone’s circus of foolery be adamant about setting boundaries and ignoring the distraction. To live your best life in 2019, you will have to learn the power of ignoring things that don’t require your attention.

Comment below and tell me, which step you will focus on this month to make 2019 your best year? 

Self Care Essentials: Finding Your Zen…

Self-Care Essentials.... (1)

“What you seek is seeking you.” ~Rumi

In the last month or so my life has been filled with the unknown, I have found myself looking for answers in this unfamiliar place. However, I have learned the answers lie in between the moments of letting go. This entire year I learned the importance of letting go and detachment from things I can’t control. When I let go there is a moment of peace that comes with detaching myself from the outcome. I have learned to be more in tune with my mind, heart and soul.

These moments of zen have taught me the importance of releasing the struggle and embracing the ease. I have spent my entire life in survival mode, trying to stay afloat so the pressures of life would not overtake me. As I was struggling to stay afloat  I found myself drowning from the pressure of trying to keep it all together. I realize now that this facade kept me from becoming free, free from thriving to my fullest potential.

However, when I decided to stop fighting the flow of life things began to fall into place. I was able see things more clearly and implement self-care into my life. Self-care has taught me how to be present in the moment. It has also taught me how to be still, let go and flow in uncomfortable situations. Self-care has been a great teacher in showing me how to reconnect with my true essence.

So, below I have listed self-care essentials to help you find your zen and tap into the peace of mind you deserve.

1.Tea, Anyone? : Green tea and other teas have been linked to having many health benefits. I often drink tea to calm myself when I feel overwhelmed and full of anxiety. My favorite tea is Yogi Tea, this tea has a variety of teas that you can choose from to suit your needs. I often use the bedtime and ginger tea. Another great benefit is they add inspirational quotes on the tea bag label.

2. Candles: Candles can reduce your stress by adding some aromatherapy to your day. Here is a list of the best organic candles on the market Organic Candles

3. Music: Music is a great way to cultivate some calm in your everyday life. BMG Channel on YouTube is a great channel to listen to it has a variety of music for studying, relaxing etc.

4. Whoosah: Meditation is a great way to bring calm into your mind. The Calm App is an app I have used for years. It has various programs to help you get into your calm.

5. Selah: Taking time to hit pause in your life is a way to stop and listen to your inner self. Pause help you clear the noise, clear the clutter & reconnect with yourself.

So, which self-care essential will you use this holiday season ?, share your thoughts in the comment section!

Why road trips are great for writers….

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Imagine an open road filled with many destinations but there is no specific direction you want to take. Each road leads to an adventure where stories start to ruminate in your mind. The people you meet, the places you see and the things you do are all connected to a bigger picture. The bigger picture is the stories waiting to come alive. Road trips have the power to bridge the gap between creativity and inspiration.

I believe road trips are essential for a writer. Writers not only need time to write but they need a place of inspiration. Sometimes the best inspiration happens when you are living life. Last month, I decided to embark on an epic road trip with my daughter and best friend. It had been nine years since I went on an extended road trip. I was determined not to drive twelve hours to my hometown.

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However, in the end trying to fight the inevitable was useless so I let go, let God  and the road trip came to fruition.  As I reflect on all that took place on our road trip I realize how important it was for me to get outside my comfort zone. The trip was epic and fun.

Road trips are a great way to explore different cities, meet interesting people and reconnect with friends and family.  As a writer road trips help us reconnect with our five senses, live in the moment and gain clarity. Below are three reasons why road trips are great for writers.

1. You tap into your five senses. There is a great power when you tap into your five senses: sight, sound, taste, smell and touch play a major part in developing characters and the setting of the story. Road trips force us to pay attention to unfamiliar surroundings.

2. New Places & Faces. Road trips allow you to meet interesting people and explore new places. These two elements can help a writer develop characters and incorporate the place they visit into their story. Each person you meet may have a distinct personality trait you want to integrate into your character’s development.

3. Gain Clarity. Every writer needs time away to unplug and refresh their thoughts. Road trips help you relax, rejuvenate and reboot your thinking. When you take time to clear your mind your thoughts become organized. You will be able to come back to a writing project with a new perspective.

 

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Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

When you look at a rock you see nothing exciting or beautiful about its features. A rock has no human form, people would consider it to be cold and aloof.  Yet a rock is apart of God’s creation just like a flower. However, we may say that a flower is more beautiful than a rock because of the outside features.

Nonetheless, just like a rock some people are hard on the outside yet beauty lies within. You never know what transpired in their life to make them bitter. Their bitterness is an accessory expressing their hurt.

I remember a period in my life where I accessorize bitterness. My heart was harden by traumatic experiences that happened. I was tired of life disappointing me over and over again. So, I created walls around my heart. I thought if I became emotionally unavailable then I would not get hurt. My elusive behavior kept me from love & fully living.

As I look back on my life I realize I was who I needed to be at that time. I understand that regretting who I was in the past does not serve me. I was raw, flawed and me. Those who saw me as a mess didn’t understand I was a rough draft. My blueprint of greatness was still pending.

Many times we judge ourselves for the raw version of who we are instead of being gentle with ourselves. When you are raw it forces you to be real; unrefined and unpolished. For instance, when a new singer produce their first album it is appealing because their vocals are unfiltered. Once they become commercialized they lose their authenticity; the record label want them to go with an image or sound that sells records versus talent. Growth is a beautiful thing but I never want to lose the thing that makes me relatable.

So, I urge you to be raw, be flawed & be you even if it is ugly right now. Don’t regret the rough draft you are at this moment. As you pursue a better version of yourself you will begin to peel back the blueprint so people can see you….the masterpiece!

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Your Dreams Matter….

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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”~Henry David Thoreau~

Why is it when we get older we lose our imagination? We start to live life in reality and forget our childlike nature. It amazes me as we grow up we lose the sense of our imagination. When I was a child I had a dream of being a writer and traveling around the world. However, as I got older that dream began to shift to the background of my life. I started working hard for other people’s company giving their dream a 100% investment yet I had no time to nurture my dream.

Something hit me when I decided to write my first poetry book, I realized it was time to get back to what I loved doing. I have always been a writer and it came naturally for me since I was a child. I use to write plays, short stories, poems and so much more. I had one more year left in the military and I already knew I was not going to reenlist. I wanted to start living my passion and dream. In spite of all the personal setbacks that came my way I was determined to finish my book. So, In April of 2007 I self-published my first poetic work of literature. I was proud of myself and ended up being in the local military newspaper.

From this moment on I knew it was time to live my dream fully. I got tired of being burnt out building someone else’s empire. I had to get to a point where I became uncomfortable with giving my all to everyone else except myself. The last ten years has been a journey in pursuing what I love but I know it is worth it. I had some great days and some not so great days but I am proud of myself.

I have no desire to be enslaved to someone else’s idea of what success is for me. As I become wiser I understand I only have one life and spending it my way is important. I remember spending countless of hours marketing and sharing other people’s business and ideas across social media. Instantly, I stopped supporting those who were not supporting me because in the end it was draining. I deserve all the time, love and passion I freely give to others to give back to myself.

Now at this epic place in my life I am choosing me and my dreams. I want you to understand this one simple thing….your dreams should matter to you and making them tangible is important. It should not be enough for you to dream but making it a reality should be your life motivation.

Do not waste your entire life building someone else empire when you have an empire of your own to build. I challenge you today to get started on investing in yourself. 

The End of An Era……

The End of An Era

Wow, I can’t believe next week Sunday is my birthday. My 30’s journey has been a beautiful evolution of “self”. I have been able to spend the years of my thirties facing issues of my past, closing the door to my past, making intentional changes to my life and most of all becoming the woman I desire to be.

As a single mom I have endured many hardships and personal setbacks but my 30’s have been my years of reflection, refreshing, starting over again and creating the life I desire.

I have become comfortable in my own skin. I love the woman I have evolved into at this point in my life. However, I know the journey is a continuous process. I am excited about my future ahead.

Since, I am commemorating the last year of my 30’s, I am sharing 39 lessons with you I learned during my 30’s journey.

Here are the 39 lessons I learned in my 30’s:
1. Confidence. Confidence is something that starts within & it is something you work on everyday.
2. No validation needed. You are grown,stop asking for permission.
3. No is a complete sentence. Stop explaining yourself.
4. Mind your own business. It never matters what others are doing. Stay focused on your life.
5. No deprivation. Stop depriving yourself of the things you love & desire.
6. Know Your Worth. You have to know your worth to know what you deserve then you will stop giving discounts to people who undermine your quality.
7. Self-care is important. Self-care is about preservation. You have to put it into practice for all areas of your life (mental, emotional, financial, physical & spiritual).
8. Trust God. 
9. Get out your own way.
10. Ask for help.
11. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can.
12. Stop procrastinating.
13. Do it afraid.
14. Get out your comfort zone.
15. Be your own best friend.
16. Speak up. You have a voice use it.
17. Stop chasing. You don’t have to chase a man, friends, people or dreams. All the things meant for you will come at the right time.
18. Travel somewhere new. 
19. Date yourself.
20. Believe in yourself.
21. Do what is best for you.
22. Be unapologetic about your greatness.
22. Set boundaries.
23. Spend time with those that celebrate you not tolerate you.
24. Celebrate yourself.
25. Be patience.
26. Saunter through life.
27. Let things flow.
28. Detach yourself from the outcome.
29. Stop the comparison. When you learn to value your life you will feel no need to compare your life to others.
30. Have faith.
31. Smile often, Laugh more.
32. Have fun. Include more bliss, pleasure & enjoyment in your life.
33. Be ok with not being ok.
34. Be vulnerable.
35. Live life. Don’t just exist live your life alive.
36. Reinvent yourself.
37. Reflect.
38. Pursue your dreams. No matter how old you are you can always pursue the things you desire.
39. Be limitless. Don’t put limitations on your life.

The Joy of Solitude….

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Long holiday weekends are warrant for spending time in solitude. This weekend was no exception. After spending the last two months suffering from exhaustion all I wanted to do is simply nothing. I can honestly confess I am tired of going hard; doing more to get more to be more.

When I lived overseas I cherished life in slow motion. Since I’ve been back in the U.S. life on autopilot is the norm. I constantly battle with this insane concept. So, I decided for the next 30 days I will spend time replenishing my mind, body and spirit.

I will take intentional time to slow down and be present in the moment. It is refreshing to be still, marinating in life’s precious moments. Below, I made a list of  ways you can replenish yourself.

1. Read your favorite novel.

2. Take a lavender epsom salt bath.

3. Unplug from social media for a day, week, month or year.

4. Take a walk without your phone.

5. Sleep.

6. Meditate.

7. Get creative and color.

8. Go to the beach.

9. Watch a sunrise.

10. Watch a sunset.

11. Go to a bookstore.

12. Staycation; reserve a hotel room in your local town.

13. Binge watch your favorite Amazon Prime show or Netflix episodes.

14. Stay in your house all day.

15. Cook your favorite meal.

16. Listen to your favorite music streaming station.

17. Aromatherapy; buy some aromatherapy candles & burn them in your house.

These are just a few ways you can replenish your mind, body and spirit. I dare you to make your own list and spend a day, week or month in replenishment. How are you going to replenish yourself this summer?