Single & Not Settling…..

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. ~Oscar Wilde~

You can access this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/RnfoVM_SBFo

Since the pandemic, things around us have been shaken and torn apart. Many of us are still trying to adjust to the is new normal and life in 2021. However, if you are single in this time of unusual happenings, life has forced you to deal with the reality of being single. As technology evolves, being single doesn’t have to be an option, especially with multiple dating apps at your fingertips. But why is being single deemed a bad thing?

I believe when you are single, you have space and time to get to heal your inner wounds, get to know yourself, and the freedom to explore the world. Over the years, I have learned to be comfortable with the concept of being single and redefine what it means to me. After my last relationship, I had to regain the confidence of understanding that singlehood is a choice, not a life sentence. 

I spent years of my life wasting time chasing men and not realizing I am the treasure due to my lack of self-worth and self-love. In my relationships, I was desperate to prove my worthiness to a man so he could choose me as his one and only. But as time passed, I realize I was attracting the same man with a different name because of the things I was not facing within myself.

I think it is paramount to define your own meaning of being single instead of taking on the societal stigmas of the definition of singleness. During February, I have made a tradition to celebrate the entire month with self-love, self-care, and appreciation for the love I have for myself and my daughter. I have called this yearly tradition “28 days of love”, doing this has given me a greater perspective on love and Valentine’s Day.

Now in this new skin, I am in, I embrace being single because I know it is a choice at the moment; however, it doesn’t mean this season is forever. I often feel many women settle in love, life, and everything in between because they are trying to reach a finite goal. As a single woman in her 40’s, I believe I am just getting started in life. It is restrictive to think being married, having kids, and having a white picket fence is the only goal I should strive for in life.  

Recently, I decided to reclaim my time and power on the term single. I simply define my singleness as a time of contentment, fun & exploration.

Below I am giving you five ways how to redefine your singleness and let go of the idea of settling for less than what you deserve.

  1. Date yourself first. Since you will be with yourself for the rest of your life, your single time is the best time to get to know what you like or don’t like. 
  2. Be alone, not lonely.  Embrace the idea of solitude and enjoying your own company. Being alone and loneliness are two different things. Many people are in marriages and romantic relationships and feel lonely.
  3. Stop waiting to live your life.  Now is the time to live; you don’t have to wait until you are married or in a relationship to create a life. 
  4. Stop obsessing about finding the one.  I believe women are the treasure, and it is not our job to chase or convince a man that we are worthy of being in his life. When you focus on yourself and create a life you love, you will attract love.
  5. Embrace the season you are in. Instead of wishing for a different season of your life, embrace the present moment.

Here are a couple things to help you embrace your single season:

The Self-Care Plan: Bringing It Together (Part 2)

You can access this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/aPlFEGQCrOU

Definition: Self-care can best be described as the intentional actions that are taken to preserve your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

Self-care is an essential part of your well-being. It plays a valuable role in your mental, emotional & physical health. When you make an intentional effort to preserve your mental, emotional and physical care then it produces healthy results in other areas of your life. When you decide to put your well-being first, it can clarify what stressors affect your mind, body, soul & spirit.

In my self-care journey, I learn how to cope with stress, anxiety & anger. Creating an individual self-care plan has given me a peace of mind during difficult times. When you begin to make yourself a priority, things in your life will shift. No longer will you feel neglected, tired, burnout or unappreciated. Overall, it is a personal responsibility to take care of your well-being. When you try to delegate this responsibility to others, then disappointment and frustration will be a continuous result.

Below I am going to give you guidance on how to bring your self-care plan together.

First Step: In a journal/poster board list all categories for your plan starting with mental, emotional & physical as top categories.

Second Step: The categories will range from 6-8 depending on what specific areas are important to you.

For example your categories may be as follows:

  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Physical
  • Spiritual
  • Social/Relational
  • Professional
  • Recreational
  • Financial
Image Reference: https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2017/07/what-is-self-care.html

Third Step: Once you have listed all your categories then it is time to list your coping strategies. I suggest listing 3 to 5 coping strategies for each category so you will not overwhelm yourself

For example under my mental self-care I would put meditation, prayer, reading inspirational quotes/books etc.

Below is a brief example of my self-care plan…..

  • Mental: meditation, prayer, reading inspirational devotions/books
  • Emotional: therapy, journaling, setting boundaries
  • Physical: walking, being in nature, healthy routine for eating/medical checkups

Once you have finished listing three to five coping strategies, you are done with your self-care plan. You can always add more coping strategies later, but sticking with three to five will help you implement one or two each day during the week. Once you implement a strategy consistently, you will see a change in your life.

*To create your self-care plan you can download the free e-book here: https://payhip.com/b/znTZ *

The Self-Care Plan: Establishing A Plan (Part 1)

You can listen to this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/SazIorpNnEY

In this new age of promoting self-love, self-care, and self-confidence, many people are clueless about beginning the journey. If they have encountered experiences in their past dealing with mental, emotional, verbal, or physical trauma, then starting a self-care process can be challenging. 

In 2015 I was introduced to the concept of self-care. However, I only had a surface-level understanding of this word. As years began to pass, I began to dig deeper into the self-care phenom. My self-care journey was triggered by the loss of my two-year-old daughter. For several years, I was going through so many mental transitions I had no idea what I was dealing with until later on.

After seeking answers concerning my mental health, I was confronted with the idea of suffering from PTSD, GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), mood swings, and anger issues. When I was able to come to the realization of how I internalize my trauma, this is when I knew it was time to go deeper into my self-care journey.

The first step was to come to terms with how my mental health affected every area of my life. I knew it was time to create a self-care plan that reached beyond bubble baths, manicures, pedicures, and shopping. My self-care path began by attacking the deep-rooted mental issues. 

In 2015, I began to create a self-care plan that has evolved over time. Now I know that my mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, social/relational, and financial self-care is a top priority.

Below I am going to list ways you can start establishing a self-care plan for yourself. 

  1. Acknowledge the past traumatic experiences. When you go deeper to identify the experiences in your past that have an effect on your adulthood, then you can gain clarity on where to begin.
  2.  Define what self-care means to you. We all define things differently according to our personal life experiences. Spend time to assess what does self-care mean to you.
  3. Create a self-care plan. Once you collect the details of what your self-care looks like, you can establish a self-care plan. 

*In this blog and podcast series, I will be writing about starting your mental, emotional and spiritual self-care plan.* 

All or Nothing: Betting On Yourself

You can listen to this episode here: https://youtu.be/rIEIXqquN-A

The new year is here, and we all have so many things we want to accomplish; however, 2021 is a year for me to go all-in on what I desire. I often found myself giving one hundred and ten percent to my family, friends, romantic relationships, and career. Yet, I was always short-changing myself when it came to my life aspirations.

I would spend a lot of time doubting my efforts to succeed and found excuses for not living the life I wanted to live. I distracted myself with helping other people accomplish their dreams while I kept putting my life on hold. Overall, I became dissatisfied with the results in my life. And I realize I had to stop sitting on the sidelines wishing things would be different and get the gumption to create the life I believe I deserve.

After 2020 I realize how important it is to take intentional steps to design a life I enjoy. We spend so much of our time making others happy, but we don’t invest the same effort in our happiness. Your life’s joy and fulfillment should always be a priority.

So I decided that this new year is the start of me going all-in and believing in my potential to produce the extraordinary life I was meant to live. When you invest in yourself, the rate of return will always yield success.

Below are three ways you can bet on yourself and increase your self-worth:

  • Say yes to yourself. Saying yes to yourself is having the courage to design a life that makes you feel good and purposeful (finding purpose in the life you are creating).
  • Let go of split energy. When you are spreading yourself thin, you produce split energy meaning your actions and words are not congruent. When you commit yourself to everyone else dreams, you self-sabotage your efforts to invest in your own life desires.
  • Slow Down. When you take a moment to slow down and pace yourself you can get clarity on what direction you want to go. (slow and steady wins the race…..lesson from The Tortoise and The Hare an Aesop Fable)

Choose Your Life….

You can listen to this episode here: https://youtu.be/ktXRiIM6EJI

A new year is upon us in three days, and some of us have various emotions going into 2021. The year 2020 has been sober for us, but we can decide how we want to feel, how we want to show up & what environment & people we choose to be around in the new year.

Last week I was confronted with different emotions about particular relationships & I realize my peace of mind is non-negotiable. I know I can’t change others but I do have a right to protect my peace & privacy.

In my new self-awareness journey, a thought appeared in my mind this morning, how do I want to feel, what type of people I want to be around & what environment do I want to cultivate going into 2021. I want my mindset for 2021 to emulate three words: joy, peace, and fun.

In the last two weeks, I decided to focus on peace & of course; this idea was a challenge. However, the lesson I learned was that we all have the power to choose the life we want to live.

Often, we let fear, people-pleasing & others’ controlling behavior stop us from living the life we desire. Then we go through life being a counterfeit version of ourselves. I believe it is time to be intentional about choosing your life for 2021 by the following three principles:

  • Your peace is your priority. 
  • You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, validate your own feelings.
  • Life is too expansive to waste it doing mediocre things, dealing with mediocre people, and wasting your precious time.

Life is to enjoy every single day, even through the challenges. But it is our duty and responsibility to make our life an organic version, not a processed version of what other people believe is best.

The Art of Mindful Living….

You can access this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/LqvgWdJnguw

When you think about the words mindful living, what comes to your mind? What images appear in your head when these words are connected?

I am sure there are different meanings of the words mindful living; however, when I think of living consciously, I think of three core words contentment, connection, and gratitude. I believe these words are the core of creating a life of mindfulness. 

I describe mindful living as the art of being present as you take time to connect and have a sense of gratitude for everything in that moment (people, place & activity). We often rush to get somewhere else instead of slowing down & tuning into the current moment. In 2007 my life was altered by a traumatic event that made me become familiar with the lifestyle of living consciously and taking nothing for granted.

After my youngest daughter passed away, I was angry, hurt, and felt a tremendous void in my life. I was unaware that during my journey, I was dealing with PTSD and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). But in 2011, I began to take steps to change the trajectory of my life. I decided to seek professional help for my daughter and me to heal during that time. Meditation, along with my personal spiritual beliefs, help me dig deep within to realize the importance of living mindfully.

So now I want to share three ideas on how you can manifest the art of mindful living in your life.

The first step to the art of living a conscious life of awareness is contentment.

Contentment: understanding where you are in life is exactly where you are supposed to be.

The second step is connectivity or staying connected.

Connectivity: understanding every intricate detail in the moment is interconnected and creates a synergy of flow. ( every element is working in the environment to reach an ultimate goal)

The last step is the gift of acknowledgement or gratitude.

Acknowledgement or Gratitude: When we understand everything is interconnected & flowing in synchronicity then we will feel grateful for every detail in the moment. (everything has a purpose & place in the moment)

Also if you are a writer and need assistance in your writing journey click the link to check out our writing services: https://theinspirationalcorner.net/writing-services/

Keys To A Cozy Simple Life

You can listen to this podcast episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdLuB-3v5bg

As the year 2020 is coming to an end, we are spending time preparing ourselves for Christmas and the New Year. We are taking time to slow down, reflect, and review this unusual year. The year 2020 has served us with unforgettable moments that we desire to bury, but we realize embracing a simple cozy life for 2021 may be the cure.

When I went to the dictionary, the word simple is defined as easily understood or done, presenting no difficulty. I think we can all agree 2020 had enough problems to serve us a lifetime of discomfort. However, when life gives us uncomfortable moments, we know that ease is on the way. And finding ways to live a comfortable, simple life can bring us peace, joy, and gratitude.

Below I am giving five essentials ways to begin to live a better life by embracing the Danish concept of Hygge; less is more and other essential elements to living a comfortable, simple life.

  • Embrace a Hygge Life: In 2017, I stumble upon the Danish phrase hygge (pronounce hoo-ga) and it change my life especially during the holiday season. I began to research this concept and found a book by Louisa Thomsen Brits called The Book of Hygge . The book help me unlock the idea of creating a slower life filled with contentment.
  • Practice Gratitude: When you are grateful for what you have you will realize how abundant you are. (book reference: The Magic by Rhonda Byrne)
  • Set Boundaries: Know what you will & will not accept then make adjustments. Setting boundaries will give you a peace of mind.
  • Be okay with pivoting: When things don’t go as plan you have to learn how to adjust and go in a different direction. Pivoting teaches you the art of moving forward despite the circumstances.
  • Simplify to uncomplicate: Get clear on who you want to be, where you want to be and how you want to feel in your life. Then add, subtract and multiply all the necessary elements to uncomplicate your relationships & life.

When you embrace these five concepts, I believe you will start to move towards a cozy simple life!

How To Live Your Best Life….

You can listen to this podcast episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ8GcxrRc-Y

What does it mean to live your best life? And can you live an exciting life despite the fear & extreme circumstances like a pandemic?

In 2018, rapper and comedian Lil’ Duval coined the term “living your best life” from his song entitled “Smile (Livin’ My Best Life).” I believe it is possible to live your best life, no matter what. It is essential to clarify the experiences you desire, decide how you want to live, and intentionally execute your idea of “your best life.”

Recently, fear has become a dominant force that has steered us away from having faith and hope. Pandemic and political climate has caused people to feel anxiety, stress, and depression. The fear of uncertainty has crippled our ability to live in the now. But to live a fulfilling life, we have to be willing to give up the things that weigh us down. Living your best life is about embracing moving forward regardless of your present situations.

When I finished the military, I struggled with the idea of how I was going to thrive, making less money. However, I chose to find the silver lining in my circumstances and not allow my environment to dictate my outcome.

To live your best life, you have to be willing to do the following:

  • Make a choice. Get clear on what you want and make a decision even while feeling fear.
  • Get tunnel vision. Let go of the distractions & focus on your goals. If certain people, places, or experiences are not leading you in the direction of your dreams, then release them gracefully.
  • Move Forward. When you move forward, it helps you keep the momentum to find better solutions. As you move ahead, keep a Nemo mindset, keep swimming, and don’t stop.

The Burnout Culture:7 Ways to Take Back Your Power….

Click here to listen to this episode: https://youtu.be/Ra2V_wonoyk

I couldn’t believe I spent another year working hard to end the school year suffering from burnout. I knew I enjoyed teaching but being exhausted was not in my extended life plan. It was time to change my life and end my abusive relationship with this burnout culture. So, in 2018 I began my journey into working less and living more.

America, the land of the burnout, overworked and underpaid culture, promotes the concept of living to work and working yourself into exhaustion. Americans have lost a sense of personal fulfillment and what it means to have a hobby. Instead, many Americans turn every passion into a business perpetuating an overworked lifestyle. I believe it is time to stop the obsession of chasing money, power, and success. It is time to seize the moment, embrace opportunities, and live your dreams.

Suppose you are wondering how to go from exhaustion to ease; check out the seven tips below. These seven tips will help reclaim your time and take back your life.

  1. Know Your Limits. Let your “No” mean “No” & only say yes to stuff you really want to do.
  2. Unplug. Whether it is unplugging from social media, people or your phone take time to sort through your emotions to gain clarity in the direction you want to go.
  3. Plan a sabbatical. Sometimes the demands of work and life can be overwhelming so take the time to reset by taking a year off from work.
  4. Pace Yourself. Do a little at a time instead of feeling like you have to do everything all at once.
  5. Give yourself permission to be still. It is okay to step back from your life and rejuvenate.
  6. Take a nap. Listen to your body & get the rest you deserve.
  7. Find a hobby not a business. Figure out what you love to do just for fun and remember hobbies are for personal fulfillment versus making it another business venture.

Five Ways To Finish 2020 Strong….

You can listen to this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/Jb1vFmSiL1A

The year 2020 has been a long winding road for many of us, but you realize that the detours and pitstops are the highlights of your personal growth & evolution with any journey. We only have 73 days left before the New Year arrives, which is enough time to reevaluate how you will choose to complete 2020 on a high note.

However, we have learned lessons this year and are challenged to mix the bitter with the sweet not to repeat 2020. So, below are five ways to finish 2020 on a high note.

1.Gratitude. Find time to reflect on all the things you can be grateful for in this year.

2. Lessons. This is the best time to reassess the lessons learn and relish in the moment.

3. Stillness. During the pandemic being still has been a new ritual. In what ways has being still served your life?

4. Carpe Diem. Seizing every moment & opportunity is important, how have you made the most of the opportunities presented to you in this year?

5. Letting Go. It was necessary to let go of people, places, jobs & things to realize what was really important.