With every New Year, we are excited about the idea of newness, new beginnings, and having a fresh start; however, we can naively believe a new year means a new us.
To become an exceptional version of who we are meant to be, we must first accept that the new year will not change our behaviors. Change starts with self-awareness of destructive patterns, which keep us in To become an exceptional version of who we are meant to be, we must first accept that the new year will not change our behaviors. . Our responsibility is to do the inner healing and work to produce a new us in each new year.
Below I have insightful questions you can ask yourself to peel back the layers of patterns that keep you from walking into the new year as a new you. (To create a more in-depth experience, journal your answers to the questions)
What repetitive cycles have I carried into each new year?
What intentional steps am I willing to take to create change?
Who do I desire to become in the next year?
What am I willing to let go of (people, places & things) to become an extraordinary version of myself?
What one action step can I take today towards my future?
Here are a couple lessons that I learned at the end of 2021:
Growth is not perfection. Growth can be chaotic, messy & beautiful all at the same time, however, it is an individual choice to observe how the growing pains made you a better person.
Don’t Take Other People Actions Personal. When you understand trying to control other’s is impossible, you find peace in letting them be who they are without judgment.
New Beginnings Are Relevant. You can’t resurrect the past, but you can learn from it & create newer, richer experiences. So say goodbye to the old & welcome in the new.
Happiness is a personal priority. Making your happiness a priority should be a priority. It is important not to outsource this responsibility to others.
Settling is not an option. You don’t have to tolerate anything; it’s okay to say this is not for me and move on accordingly.
When I asked my twenty-year-old daughter how she would define living her life well, she summed it up in four categories: traveling, happiness, family & friends, and money. I thought this was intriguing because we all have different ways of defining living a good life. No one answer is right or wrong. However, as I experience life, I understand its gift and how living it well is essential.
After my youngest daughter’s death, I knew life was more than smoke and mirrors. I began to understand that life has white, black, and gray areas. However, it is up to me to bring some iridescent colors to this journey, even when external circumstances feel heavy. So how can we unlock the joy, add some technicolor and wipe the fears away?
Below are three ways you can begin to unlock the door of living well and making every moment memorable.
Steps To Living Well
Let The Past Go. With a new year upon us we can be excited about the future, dwell in the present and know the past can be put to rest.
Elevate Your Experiences. It is important to put yourself in new places to meet new faces & do something that will heighten your life experiences.
Believe In Yourself. If you don’t have confidence in your own dreams and desires then you are hindering your own potential. When you believe in your ability to overcome challenges and face your fears you put yourself in a winning position.
The holiday season is a time of slowing down, resting & enjoying the present moment. However, the holidays are filled with dread for some because of the need to be a part of the holiday rush.
The holiday rush mentality is filled with the urge to be in the hustle and bustle; however, what if you adopt a new mindset of relaxing, relating & releasing your stress into the atmosphere.
Here are seven ways to relax under the holiday stress, relate to the emotions you feel & release them with ease.
Journal the stress, doubts & anxiety away. My journal has become my therapist because I can express my concerns without judgment & organize my thoughts. Overall, journaling your thoughts can be therapeutic.
Ask yourself the critical questions. Sometimes we can overthink ourselves into a frenzy, so realizing what is really important helps you get insight into the bigger picture.
Do What Makes You Happy. What is logical to someone else may not work for you, so finding your balance is essential. Happiness is an inside job, so make sure you do the inner work to create your own place of joy.
Let go of the knowing. We are curious human beings with a desire to know everything. But when you let go of control, you create a space for the unknown adventures to come to fruition.
Make space for self-compassion. Sometimes we can be our worst critics, but taking time to create a space of grace for yourself will take the pressure off & eliminate the need to overextend yourself.
Boundaries are boundless. There are no limits to the boundaries you need to make to keep your mental, emotional & spiritual well-being secure.
Support systems save lives. Creating a healthy support system of family & friends will relieve some of the daily life pressures. Remember, no man can be an island & thrive by themselves. ReplyForward
Life serves us with many distractions that lure us away from the things we desire to accomplish. The goal is to do less of what makes us miserable and more of what sets our soul on fire. How can we achieve this simple feat? What if we were brave enough to let go of our comfort zones and dwell in the possibilities of following the yellow brick road of dreams. Yes, this may seem impossible, but dwelling in the possibilities is about dreaming big, planning, and relinquishing control over the outcome.
It has only been three weeks since I sold my home and started my journey in road-tripping adventures. I have learned a lot about myself and strengthening my relationship with my daughter in these short weeks. I can’t believe this has brought us joy, laughter, and small lessons along the way. Although the journey has been scary, it has taught me the power of dwelling in the possibilities. What does it mean to dwell in the possibilities? Well, it can mean multiple things however, the core of this belief system is about optimism. When we stay optimistic in spite of external situations, we can stay hopeful for serendipitous moments.
If you are ready to break some miserable cycles in your life and dive into the possibilities follow the yellow brick road to the steps below:
Detox yourself from your comfort zone. Nothing grows from a comfort zone, so you have to be willing to let go of the past, stop revisiting those familiar people, places, and things. And enhance your spiritual well-being.
Distractions are oxymorons. Sometimes distractions can take you left or right. However, you have to determine no matter the disruption; everything is working out in your favor.
Wander into the Wild. If you are bold enough to kiss the past goodbye, it will introduce you to a new hello. When you wander from the familiar, it will give you the gift of hope that leads to the possibilities of an unbelievable life.
Are you ready to dwell into the possibilities of your life?
It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you. ~Rumi~
What does it mean to live an unapologetic life?
According to Webster’s dictionary, unapologetic is defined as an innate term of not acknowledging or expressing regret. However, I define the term unapologetic as living a life designed for your own gain & enjoyment.
As you begin your journey of living an unconventional life, everyone may not understand or support your decisions but believing in yourself is vital. The key blueprint of living an unapologetic life is embodied in having faith in your dreams, producing intentional steps to achieve each goal, and knowing everything will work in your favor, even the negative moments.
Overall, true freedom is when you no longer justify the way you live, embrace your life in the present moment, and build a life you are proud of. You are the interior designer of your life, and everyone else’s opinion should never matter as you produce your masterpiece.
Below are four key components and questions to start your journey on living your life unapologetically.
Values: Define what you value by asking yourself what do I value?
Beliefs: What do you believe about yourself & your dreams?
Desires: Do you know what you really want to do?/What do you desire in your life?
Priorities/Goals: What is really important to you?/What are your life goals?
When significant changes occur in your life, sometimes, there can be a sense of turmoil. The unrest produces fear, anxiety, and overwhelm because we don’t know how everything will fall into place. However, if we learn to embrace change, the path of uncertainty becomes clearer to navigate.
Sometimes the restlessness we feel is subliminal to the unrest we create within ourselves. Instead of surrendering, we choose to fight the unknown due to our fear of change. Change can sometimes be hard to embrace; however, the thing on the other side could be the best thing we could imagine. And when we are challenged to do something different, there can be a state of resistance, yet it pushes us to become a better version of ourselves.
Here are three simple ways to let go, stop fighting the old, and embrace the newness of change.
Evaluate what you need to let go. Purging, detoxing, and removing the unnecessary will clarify the direction you need to go.
Stop resisting the change. When you take small steps then you will create bigger strides towards your goals.
Embrace the rest. When you let go, surrender to the ebbs and flow of life, you will realize that everything is working out in your favor in the end.
The beauty about uncertainty is no matter how well we plan, there will always be question marks on how the journey will unfold. Sometimes we allow the fear of the unknown to keep us from pursuing our dreams and the life we constantly desired to live. However, if we focus on the journey instead of the destination, we will realize that embracing the hidden parts will help us accept life’s adventures.
Currently, I am going through an unfamiliar phase in my life, and it has taught me how to embrace the unknown. Sometimes we feel as if we need to know how everything will turn out, but in reality, we have no idea how life will unfold.
As I go through this new normal many emotions, appear from happiness, fear, excitement, and anxiety. However, I am enjoying this unpredictable place because it has given me confidence, courage, and resilience to move forward. I am self-assured that the answers will come, and everything will fall into place.
I have learn no matter how many plans you make, life will teach you how to be flexible. The flexibility provides an atmosphere of freedom but it can make you feel powerless. We fear the unknown because it forces us out of our comfort zone. And significant changes happen when we are in unfamiliar territory. When you can embrace the uncertainty, then you will encounter countless adventures in your life.
Here are three ways to embrace uncertainty:
1. Make plans but be flexible.
2. Let go of the need to have all the answers. Life is an adventure when you are open to the flow & knowing everything will work out.
3. Don’t settle. A lot of people settle for the familiar because they are not willing to be uncomfortable. However, if you desire to live your dream life taking risk are a prerequisite.
If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story. ~Terry Pratchett~
Are you willing to live life the way you want or conform to society’s standards on how your life should be?
The above question is something I had to ask myself after I finished my military career. I knew I no longer cared to live my life by society’s metric of what is called “The American Dream,” but I wanted to live the life of my dreams. I knew doing things the conventional way would not work for me in the pursuit of living my dreams. So I had to learn how to create my own rules and break some rules to live my life on my own terms.
When we are born, we enter the world full of wonder, hopes, and aspirations, yet as we get older, we spend much of our time trying to live a life to please others. Young children have no shame in telling you who and what they want to be when they grow up. However, it is our adult cynicism that destroys our childlike imagination. Instead, we tell our children and ourselves “to be realistic” about their careers and life.
In reality, you are the protagonist (main character) in the story of your life, and it is your job to keep the storyline centered around your desires, dreams, and hopes. If you are not willing to build the life that fits you, other people will start to dictate what is best for your life. Overall, we should strive to live a life that we are proud of and exemplifies our genuine nature.
If you are ready and willing to live life on your own terms, understand it will be a life filled with unexpected adventures and moments. But I would rather live my life the way I wanted versus water down version of someone’s else idea of my life.
If you are ready to let go of the mediocre to jump into the extraordinary, then below, I have three simple ways to assist you in living life on your own terms.
Assess your values, priorities, and desires in your life in this present moment. (What do you really want your life to look like, and how do you want to feel?)
Align your values, priorities, and desires with your authentic nature. (Who do you want to be when you grow up?) (childlike mindset)
Action: Create some intentional action steps to plan the direction you need to start living your authentic life & begin to implement those steps.
You: Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the best of them all?
Mirror: You are my darling.
What if we believed that we were the best instead of comparing ourselves with someone else?
In a show and tell world, we have become fixated with keeping up with the Joneses instead of concentrating on our own life. Social media has made it easy to play the game of comparison with strangers we never met. The small reel of a moment in someone’s life makes us question our whole existence. Why do we give social media, people & society so much power?
The concept of competing is ideal in sports, but it becomes messy when we start to feel like we are in competition with others. When we try to constantly keep up with the progression of others, we lose momentum in our life.
I remember when I went through a period when I tried to help, coach, and counsel everyone else. My life was falling apart while others were thriving; from my advice, I became the poster child for fixing everyone’s life but my own. I began to feel depleted and used. And I realized people were only calling me to discard their problems on me. They felt better but I carried the emotional weight. Overall, I was enabling a toxic cycle in my life.
In the last couple of years, I have set boundaries, let go of toxic behavior and patterns while loving people from a distance. And I have decided to incorporate a life of minding my own business, which brings me peace. Although we reside in an oversaturated technology-induced world, we can still find ways to unplug from the virtual world and plug into our real life.
When we begin to assess what we don’t desire in our lives, we can build a life we love versus numbing out from a life we hate.
Below are some basic ways you can let go of comparison & compete with becoming the best version of yourself.
Mind Your Own Business. When you feel the need to give your opinion or advice, think before you speak and ask yourself, did the person ask for my opinion? Here is a podcast episode where I discuss more on the concept of minding your own business & my journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw9AGLGturk
2. Find Ways To Improve Your Life. Yes, it is tempting to scroll on social media, watch TV, judge celebrities and judge others but think about improving your life. Judging others is a reflection of your own insecurities.
3. More Focus & Less Distractions. Frequently we try to escape the unpleasant things in our life because we don’t want to face reality. However, if we let go of the temporary mindless distractions, we can meet each situation with grace and love. Here is a podcast episode where I discuss ways you can create an intentional life to stay focus & eliminate distractions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtGM_GKHp68
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