When significant changes occur in your life, sometimes, there can be a sense of turmoil. The unrest produces fear, anxiety, and overwhelm because we don’t know how everything will fall into place. However, if we learn to embrace change, the path of uncertainty becomes clearer to navigate.
Sometimes the restlessness we feel is subliminal to the unrest we create within ourselves. Instead of surrendering, we choose to fight the unknown due to our fear of change. Change can sometimes be hard to embrace; however, the thing on the other side could be the best thing we could imagine. And when we are challenged to do something different, there can be a state of resistance, yet it pushes us to become a better version of ourselves.
Here are three simple ways to let go, stop fighting the old, and embrace the newness of change.
Evaluate what you need to let go. Purging, detoxing, and removing the unnecessary will clarify the direction you need to go.
Stop resisting the change. When you take small steps then you will create bigger strides towards your goals.
Embrace the rest. When you let go, surrender to the ebbs and flow of life, you will realize that everything is working out in your favor in the end.
The beauty about uncertainty is no matter how well we plan, there will always be question marks on how the journey will unfold. Sometimes we allow the fear of the unknown to keep us from pursuing our dreams and the life we constantly desired to live. However, if we focus on the journey instead of the destination, we will realize that embracing the hidden parts will help us accept life’s adventures.
Currently, I am going through an unfamiliar phase in my life, and it has taught me how to embrace the unknown. Sometimes we feel as if we need to know how everything will turn out, but in reality, we have no idea how life will unfold.
As I go through this new normal many emotions, appear from happiness, fear, excitement, and anxiety. However, I am enjoying this unpredictable place because it has given me confidence, courage, and resilience to move forward. I am self-assured that the answers will come, and everything will fall into place.
I have learn no matter how many plans you make, life will teach you how to be flexible. The flexibility provides an atmosphere of freedom but it can make you feel powerless. We fear the unknown because it forces us out of our comfort zone. And significant changes happen when we are in unfamiliar territory. When you can embrace the uncertainty, then you will encounter countless adventures in your life.
Here are three ways to embrace uncertainty:
1. Make plans but be flexible.
2. Let go of the need to have all the answers. Life is an adventure when you are open to the flow & knowing everything will work out.
3. Don’t settle. A lot of people settle for the familiar because they are not willing to be uncomfortable. However, if you desire to live your dream life taking risk are a prerequisite.
If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story. ~Terry Pratchett~
Are you willing to live life the way you want or conform to society’s standards on how your life should be?
The above question is something I had to ask myself after I finished my military career. I knew I no longer cared to live my life by society’s metric of what is called “The American Dream,” but I wanted to live the life of my dreams. I knew doing things the conventional way would not work for me in the pursuit of living my dreams. So I had to learn how to create my own rules and break some rules to live my life on my own terms.
When we are born, we enter the world full of wonder, hopes, and aspirations, yet as we get older, we spend much of our time trying to live a life to please others. Young children have no shame in telling you who and what they want to be when they grow up. However, it is our adult cynicism that destroys our childlike imagination. Instead, we tell our children and ourselves “to be realistic” about their careers and life.
In reality, you are the protagonist (main character) in the story of your life, and it is your job to keep the storyline centered around your desires, dreams, and hopes. If you are not willing to build the life that fits you, other people will start to dictate what is best for your life. Overall, we should strive to live a life that we are proud of and exemplifies our genuine nature.
If you are ready and willing to live life on your own terms, understand it will be a life filled with unexpected adventures and moments. But I would rather live my life the way I wanted versus water down version of someone’s else idea of my life.
If you are ready to let go of the mediocre to jump into the extraordinary, then below, I have three simple ways to assist you in living life on your own terms.
Assess your values, priorities, and desires in your life in this present moment. (What do you really want your life to look like, and how do you want to feel?)
Align your values, priorities, and desires with your authentic nature. (Who do you want to be when you grow up?) (childlike mindset)
Action: Create some intentional action steps to plan the direction you need to start living your authentic life & begin to implement those steps.
You: Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the best of them all?
Mirror: You are my darling.
What if we believed that we were the best instead of comparing ourselves with someone else?
In a show and tell world, we have become fixated with keeping up with the Joneses instead of concentrating on our own life. Social media has made it easy to play the game of comparison with strangers we never met. The small reel of a moment in someone’s life makes us question our whole existence. Why do we give social media, people & society so much power?
The concept of competing is ideal in sports, but it becomes messy when we start to feel like we are in competition with others. When we try to constantly keep up with the progression of others, we lose momentum in our life.
I remember when I went through a period when I tried to help, coach, and counsel everyone else. My life was falling apart while others were thriving; from my advice, I became the poster child for fixing everyone’s life but my own. I began to feel depleted and used. And I realized people were only calling me to discard their problems on me. They felt better but I carried the emotional weight. Overall, I was enabling a toxic cycle in my life.
In the last couple of years, I have set boundaries, let go of toxic behavior and patterns while loving people from a distance. And I have decided to incorporate a life of minding my own business, which brings me peace. Although we reside in an oversaturated technology-induced world, we can still find ways to unplug from the virtual world and plug into our real life.
When we begin to assess what we don’t desire in our lives, we can build a life we love versus numbing out from a life we hate.
Below are some basic ways you can let go of comparison & compete with becoming the best version of yourself.
Mind Your Own Business. When you feel the need to give your opinion or advice, think before you speak and ask yourself, did the person ask for my opinion? Here is a podcast episode where I discuss more on the concept of minding your own business & my journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw9AGLGturk
2. Find Ways To Improve Your Life. Yes, it is tempting to scroll on social media, watch TV, judge celebrities and judge others but think about improving your life. Judging others is a reflection of your own insecurities.
3. More Focus & Less Distractions. Frequently we try to escape the unpleasant things in our life because we don’t want to face reality. However, if we let go of the temporary mindless distractions, we can meet each situation with grace and love. Here is a podcast episode where I discuss ways you can create an intentional life to stay focus & eliminate distractions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtGM_GKHp68
Every journey begins with taking a small step toward starting on a path to where you want to go. In each stage, you accept the thoughts of fear, failure, and fraud, making you feel like running in the opposite direction; however, if you never begin, you will never know how amazing your life will become.
When I decided to start my entrepreneur journey as a writer, I was full of uncertainty and didn’t know how everything would work out. And to be honest, I am still wondering how everything will unfold, but in this journey of surrender, I realize life is a daring adventure. Helen Keller said it best, life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.
So when will you cast away the fear, let go of the idea of failure, and dive into a life you have always dreamed of?
The greatest failure is never being bold enough to start and wishing you would have started. My writing has helped me explore so many different elements of myself. I went from writing poetry, articles for online magazines, blogging, and becoming an author of multiple books.
As a writer, living my lifelong dream opened up so many doors for me, attending a writing workshop in Paris, France, in 2014. Paris changed the way I viewed myself as a writer and creative soul. My writing was resurrected with vibrance, passion, and soul after arriving back in the U.S.
I want you to understand how vital it is to leap into the life you desire because fear, failure, and feeling fraudulent will always be there.
Below I want to give you three ways to let the fear reside; understand not starting is the only failure, and the actual fraudulence is not doing what your soul was called to do.
Start with Intention. You don’t have to have it all figured out, but if you set a goal & carry it out you will land right among the stars.
We are all trying to figure it out. No one in life really knows what they are doing, so be okay with the fact that being perfect is unrealistic, but making progress is vital.
Failure will always be an option. If you never fail, how will you grow, learn and become better in life? The thing I am learning is the only failure is never starting, so just begin
Same thoughts, ideas, body types, looks & hair, a world that encourages duplication versus originality has become a place filled with clones. Diversity shouldn’t be limited to a person’s race or culture, but variety includes all types of people from different backgrounds, mindsets, and philosophies. The world becomes a beautiful place when everyone is inspired to embrace their inner genius.
Embracing your genius can make others classify you as a weirdo, quirky, rebel, or misfit. However, these classifications are an indication of society’s misunderstanding of who you really are. In the webster’s dictionary, the word misfit is best described as a person who is not suited or cannot adjust to the circumstances of his or her particular situation. I define a misfit as a person who doesn’t allow their environment to dictate who or what they should be in the world.
When you think about the word icon or legend, I am sure you think of a person who defied the odds, created and broke some rules in their life’s journey. I believe the world becomes predictable and boring when we try to fit everyone into the same model. The beauty of life is breaking the rules, creating your own rules, and living life on your own terms.
Below I have a couple of tips on how you can embrace your inner misfit, break the rules and be the outcast you were truly meant to be.
Recognize your unique abilities. Spend time on learning the things that make you different or set apart.
Tap into your inner genius. We all have a hidden inner genius; however, many of us don’t take the time to figure out how our mind works.
Be okay with being misunderstood. The best way to be embrace who you are is by going on a journey of discovery with self-love, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.
The summer solstice is a beautiful time to recalibrate your life slowly. Instead of rushing through each day, summer is a reminder to slow down and revel in the moments. We are shifting into longer days and better weather to enjoy. However, to enjoy this summer, reprioritizing your schedule for rest, relaxation, and fun is vital.
After spending a year in quarantine during the pandemic, everyone is ready to get back to traveling, connecting with family, and enjoying life. Now is the time to implement a life of doing less and living more. I genuinely believe summer is the beginning of us tapping into an energy of “just being” mode. I am going to be intentional about managing my time for rest, fun and enjoyment this summer. Many times I would find myself doing instead of being in the present moment. This summer I will travel less, write more & explore unknown territory.
Summertime can become a time to fall in love with living life in an abundant way, however giving up the daily rat race will be required in order to connect to the present moment. When we began to fall in love with our life every moment will be pleasurable. Summer is a season where we can leave the stress behind and dive into the pleasures of living our best life.
Below are a few ways you can begin to implement the concept of doing less and living more in your everyday life.
Let go of the stress. Let go of what you can’t control, embrace where you are now & create a solution list.
Prioritize Fun. We often schedule things we have to do in our calendar but rarely schedule in fun. Make a weekly goal to schedule something fun to do in your calendar this summer.
Balance Your Work & Personal Life. When you set boundaries you can create a balance between your work & personal life. (Ex: Be consistent about getting off of work at a specific time to enjoy yourself, family & friends. Don’t be scared to say NO to working overtime).
Often in life, we will encounter difficult moments that will take us off course and knock us out of the game. However, in the low moments, you can take this time to reflect and give yourself time to process through the heartache or heartbreaks of life.
In America, we are condition to believe that it is our doing and constantly moving that keeps us going, but in our stillness, we can allow our joy to be refreshed, our minds to gain clarity, and our souls to be renewed. Recently, I realize all the difficult moments that transpired in my life this month indicated how much I needed to slow down. The fiery darts of life wounded my joy, and I know spending time to heal, process, and regain my happiness is paramount. I am giving myself permission to have self-compassion, revel in my humanness and unplug.
The greatest lesson I have learned this month is no matter how strong you are, give yourself time to process the losses, pain, and irritations of life. Moving forward doesn’t always look like being in a mindset of doing something, but laying down and processing is a part of the journey.
Below I created a couple concepts that will help you regain your peace of mind and refuel your joy for the better.
Unplug. Take time to reflect, heal & recharge from the difficult moments.
Make a joy list. Make a list of all the things that spark your joy and make you feel alive.
Be Transparent. Be real about how you feel (decipher your emotions by journaling, therapy, talking to someone close to you, etc.).
Give Yourself Time. Take it slow & don’t allow anything or anyone to rush your healing process.
What do you currently believe about yourself and who you are in this moment? Do you feel like you are lacking in some areas when it comes to your personality?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, don’t feel ashamed, I think we all believed in the lie of not being enough. The plague of not feeling enough has haunted me throughout my life. I would constantly recycle negative self-talk, abusive words from others, and societal standards. However, as I began to uncover this faulty belief system about myself, I realize the root of it all stemmed from low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and other underlining issues.
In 2011, I went on an inner journey of self-exploration and self-discovery to confront dysfunctional beliefs about myself and my life. And what I found was a wounded young lady who needed to know that her past didn’t define her worth. It has been ten years since the journey has helped me evolve into a confident, self-assured woman where the notion of not being enough is no longer a part of my storyline.
The truth is that we all are enough in this world, and when we start believing in this idea, we can live a more fulfilled life. When you accept the idea that you lack something within, you run the risk of living a suppressed life. With a suppress mindset, we eventually generate the chase concept; you will chase people, dreams, goals, money, success, etc. to feel accepted and validated by external forces.
When you begin to know who you are and your worth, you become a threat to those who lavish in their insecurities. You must confront your insecurities every day (because it is a daily thing). And to be clear, it is okay to have insecurities because they make us imperfect and vulnerable. Insecurities become ugly when we lash out or use hurtful words against others.
Below are three ways you can say bye bye to the belief of not enough.
Let Go. Say Au revoir to anybody or anything that make you feel like you are too much.
Dig Deep. Uncover all the crazy beliefs that has hindered your self-worth story.
Heal. Allow yourself a time to heal from the past of unforgiveness (forgive yourself), trauma and anything that has kept you hostage to the lie of not being enough .
I believe we are all on a cosmic spiritual journey trying to search for life’s simple pleasures, joy, passion, and all things that will light up our soul. However, how can we embark on a journey of self-exploration if we constantly are moving further away from the life we want to live. How can we rekindle the spark that we once had about our life?
Sometimes when life throws curveballs, we are confronted with the issue of the reversal effect. The reversal effect is taking a path that isn’t aligning with our life’s dreams, goals, or vision. As we strive to break through the force field of fear, doubt, and discouragement, everything around us begins to look unfamiliar because the curveballs have pushed us into unknown territory. The unknown territory is the unexpected happenings we experience in this journey called life. And so the daunting question becomes, what can I do to get back on track? How can I find my way back?
Finding Your Kefi….
In the Greek culture, the word kefi has multiple meanings, but its translation means the spirit of joy, passion, euphoria, enthusiasm, exuberance, frenzy. When I think of kefi, it reminds me of chemical evolution theory, where simple elements (atoms) transform into complex parts to generate life. Kefi is the chemical bonding agent that helps us find the spark we once lost. It is the intricate agent that we desire to discover to bring fulfillment back to our lives. So how do we go on this voyage to find our kefi?
Embrace Rock Bottom. When life gives you lemonades, create a lemonade stand & sell your experiences. (make the best out of what you have)
Embrace Uncertainty. If you are clueless about how to find your way let the unfamiliar be your guide. (create a new normal)
Embrace Serendipity. Let life unfold organically. (let go of the need to control the outcome)
Below is the movie that inspired this post on the concept of kefi: