How To Live Life On Your Terms…

Access this podcast episode here: https://tinyurl.com/ch26a35u

If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story. ~Terry Pratchett~

Are you willing to live life the way you want or conform to society’s standards on how your life should be?

The above question is something I had to ask myself after I finished my military career. I knew I no longer cared to live my life by society’s metric of what is called “The American Dream,” but I wanted to live the life of my dreams. I knew doing things the conventional way would not work for me in the pursuit of living my dreams. So I had to learn how to create my own rules and break some rules to live my life on my own terms.

When we are born, we enter the world full of wonder, hopes, and aspirations, yet as we get older, we spend much of our time trying to live a life to please others. Young children have no shame in telling you who and what they want to be when they grow up. However, it is our adult cynicism that destroys our childlike imagination. Instead, we tell our children and ourselves “to be realistic” about their careers and life.

In reality, you are the protagonist (main character) in the story of your life, and it is your job to keep the storyline centered around your desires, dreams, and hopes. If you are not willing to build the life that fits you, other people will start to dictate what is best for your life. Overall, we should strive to live a life that we are proud of and exemplifies our genuine nature.

If you are ready and willing to live life on your own terms, understand it will be a life filled with unexpected adventures and moments. But I would rather live my life the way I wanted versus water down version of someone’s else idea of my life.

If you are ready to let go of the mediocre to jump into the extraordinary, then below, I have three simple ways to assist you in living life on your own terms.

  1. Assess your values, priorities, and desires in your life in this present moment. (What do you really want your life to look like, and how do you want to feel?)
  2. Align your values, priorities, and desires with your authentic nature. (Who do you want to be when you grow up?) (childlike mindset)
  3. Action: Create some intentional action steps to plan the direction you need to start living your authentic life & begin to implement those steps. 

Letting go of that, “I Am Not Enough”…ish

Access this podcast episode here: https://youtu.be/U7iAi_LDyHs

What do you currently believe about yourself and who you are in this moment? Do you feel like you are lacking in some areas when it comes to your personality?

If you answered YES to any of the above questions, don’t feel ashamed, I think we all believed in the lie of not being enough. The plague of not feeling enough has haunted me throughout my life. I would constantly recycle negative self-talk, abusive words from others, and societal standards. However, as I began to uncover this faulty belief system about myself, I realize the root of it all stemmed from low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and other underlining issues.

In 2011, I went on an inner journey of self-exploration and self-discovery to confront dysfunctional beliefs about myself and my life. And what I found was a wounded young lady who needed to know that her past didn’t define her worth. It has been ten years since the journey has helped me evolve into a confident, self-assured woman where the notion of not being enough is no longer a part of my storyline. 

The truth is that we all are enough in this world, and when we start believing in this idea, we can live a more fulfilled life. When you accept the idea that you lack something within, you run the risk of living a suppressed life. With a suppress mindset, we eventually generate the chase concept; you will chase people, dreams, goals, money, success, etc. to feel accepted and validated by external forces.

When you begin to know who you are and your worth, you become a threat to those who lavish in their insecurities. You must confront your insecurities every day (because it is a daily thing). And to be clear, it is okay to have insecurities because they make us imperfect and vulnerable. Insecurities become ugly when we lash out or use hurtful words against others.

Below are three ways you can say bye bye to the belief of not enough.

  • Let Go. Say Au revoir to anybody or anything that make you feel like you are too much.
  • Dig Deep. Uncover all the crazy beliefs that has hindered your self-worth story.
  • Heal. Allow yourself a time to heal from the past of unforgiveness (forgive yourself), trauma and anything that has kept you hostage to the lie of not being enough .

The Beauty of Being Yourself

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In 2003, I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like myself. I had to confront the fact that who I was pretending to be was making others happy but making me feel unhappy. My world was falling apart because I was collapsing on the inside. I had no clue to who I was because I spent too much time running from myself. If you ever felt like this it is time to face the inner turmoil and heal.

As an ex-people pleaser, I realize how saying yes was my favorite addiction. It was hard for me to say no to people because I desired to make other people like me. However, I realize making others happy cost me a peace of mind. It takes courage to step out of the crowd and be different. Our differences are what make us beautiful, flaws, and all.

Here is the link to listen to this episode on The Inspirational Corner Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WowJvLuKyuI

 

 

Why Being Basic Won’t Do…

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The Corona Virus issue has made us feel so many emotions with the ebb and flow of uncertainty; staying at home has become the new normal. This new normal has caused America to put everything on pause where being still is the cure. Many schools have closed around the world, people are now working from home, and some people no longer have a job. Although it can seem to be an uncomfortable time for the world, confronted with the reality that this is the time to let go of things no longer serve our lives.

In America, we are taught that being busy and living life on auto-pilot is acceptable. We choose to operate in a world encumber with a fast-food mentality, a microwave vision for our lives. The self-quarantine gives everyone a chance to slow down, saunter, and come to a shimmer. We no longer can follow the crowd but is challenged to do something different. I believe in this time of  the shutdown, we will not go back to normal.

This transformation will cause us to become a better version of our self. We can start by self-reflecting in every area of our lives. For me, it has taught me the valuable lesson of living in the present moment.

People’s lives are being transformed because we are now finding our passion, spending time with family, connecting with friends, and doing things we were too busy to do. When the curtain rises off this center stage play we call COVID-19, how will we move forward? Will everyone go back to being “basic” or will we embrace our new normal?

Below are three ways we can release ourselves from the “basic life” to the “extraordinary life.”

1. Write The Vision. While being at home, this is a perfect time to write a plan for yourself to make some changes in your life. (Ex: If you decide to start your business now is the time to create your website, draft a business plan, etc.)

2. Execute. There is no time like the present to start being intention by putting action in your new life. Use this time to start capitalizing on not being at work. (Ex: If you are working from home, let your paycheck build up, so when all this comes to an end, you will have enough saved to live your job.)

3. Live. Before the Corona Virus, many of us were going through the motions of life; however, with the shutdown of social events and going out; we will be more present in our lives. We will have more fun living life versus existing in it.

In the end, I am optimistic the self-quarantine will bring out a better America, where we are healing, there is more joy, peace, kindness & love to spread!

 

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

Be Raw, Be Flawed, Be You!

When you look at a rock you see nothing exciting or beautiful about its features. A rock has no human form, people would consider it to be cold and aloof.  Yet a rock is apart of God’s creation just like a flower. However, we may say that a flower is more beautiful than a rock because of the outside features.

Nonetheless, just like a rock some people are hard on the outside yet beauty lies within. You never know what transpired in their life to make them bitter. Their bitterness is an accessory expressing their hurt.

I remember a period in my life where I accessorize bitterness. My heart was harden by traumatic experiences that happened. I was tired of life disappointing me over and over again. So, I created walls around my heart. I thought if I became emotionally unavailable then I would not get hurt. My elusive behavior kept me from love & fully living.

As I look back on my life I realize I was who I needed to be at that time. I understand that regretting who I was in the past does not serve me. I was raw, flawed and me. Those who saw me as a mess didn’t understand I was a rough draft. My blueprint of greatness was still pending.

Many times we judge ourselves for the raw version of who we are instead of being gentle with ourselves. When you are raw it forces you to be real; unrefined and unpolished. For instance, when a new singer produce their first album it is appealing because their vocals are unfiltered. Once they become commercialized they lose their authenticity; the record label want them to go with an image or sound that sells records versus talent. Growth is a beautiful thing but I never want to lose the thing that makes me relatable.

So, I urge you to be raw, be flawed & be you even if it is ugly right now. Don’t regret the rough draft you are at this moment. As you pursue a better version of yourself you will begin to peel back the blueprint so people can see you….the masterpiece!

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The Importance of Reinventing Yourself…

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In the last three months I can truly say I have been on an inner personal journey . I am learning how to face my fears, be vulnerable and communicate in an authentic way. Nonetheless, each journey has introduced me to a different me. I am evolving out of my cocoon and flourishing into a beautiful butterfly. I know as I evolve reinvention becomes an important part of the journey. Reinvention is the key to growth in life.

If you think about it companies are always reinventing their brands to appeal to different demographics. Companies take time to reassess what has worked for their brand and what has not worked for them. Just like a company, we should always reassess ourselves to see what methods in our lives are working and which ones need to be eliminated. Reinvention is the answer to transforming our lives into something new.

Below I will share three concepts on why reinventing yourself is so important.

1) Pain changes you. When we endure a tragedy in our lives it has the power to change us. I remember in 2007 when my two-year old daughter died it changed my life forever.  The power of losing a loved one changed my perspective on life. Pain causes you to step back, assess your lose and recreate a better you.

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2) Starting Over. Sometimes it is hard to start over but starting over gives you a new outlook on life. It opens you up to many possibilities of living a life of adventure.

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3) Nothing grows from a comfort zone. If you find yourself frustrated, irritated or annoyed nine times out of ten you are outgrowing the space you occupy. Many people allow fear to keep them hostage to their comfort zone. The biggest thing I have learned is that comfort zones are great but nothing phenomenal or extraordinary grows out of them.

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Pain, starting over and escaping your comfort zone are essential things that help you reinvent your life. Reinventing yourself is important so it can unlock extraordinary things. So today, I challenge you to evolve past the norm and be intentional about reinventing an area of your life that seems stagnant. Once you begin the process you will  see life from a different perspective!

A Seat At The Table…

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In a world full of people pleasers it is refreshing to be yourself. When you choose to be yourself magic happens in your life. You no longer settle for mediocrity but you embrace the extraordinary. It will ignite a spark in you to do life in a different way.

Fireworks are created when you no longer follow the crowd but decide to become the life of your own party. When you choose to walk in your power everyone will not accept you. However, learning to be you bravely takes courage.

In this journey you will understand that everyone will not get an invitation to the party of your life. The people you use to entertain will no longer get a seat to the table. You will  gravitate towards people who empower, inspire and encourage you. They will be the ones who become your tribe because you deserve a life filled with those celebrating your existence.

So, today I encourage you to reevaluate the people you have seating at the table of your life. Ask yourself this, “Is this person celebrating me or tolerating me?” You deserve the support, love and joy you give freely to everyone else.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts so chime in below!

 

Be Uncommon

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When you find out who you are you stop running. All the illusions you once believed about yourself begin to fade away. You realize chasing others for external validation was never needed because you found out the truth. The truth was that you were always amazing.

When you are introduced to the real you then your life will change. How do I know?Well, it took me 37 years to find the real me beyond the layers of inadequacy. I spent seven years going through my “authentic journey”. To be honest, the journey has just begun. 

All those years in my life where I felt inadequate and wanted to fit in, I never realized it was never meant for me to fit in. Freedom came when I let go of the stigma of pleasing others & embraced loving myself. I believe when people truly start being themselves then we would have a world full of originals  instead of copycats.

So, today I challenge you to embrace the passionate, weird, quirky and funloving you. Because you my friend need to be the original AMAZING masterpiece you were created to be!

 

Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number!


Age is not a deadline it is the beginning of a new era! ~Stylicia~

It is funny how we live in a world that gives us a particular age limit to have kids, get married and all the other superfluous stuff. However, I believe putting limits on yourself due to your age can literally handicap your future. I do understand age is important when it comes to the regular things such as driving, drinking and understanding the fundamentals of life. However, we should not put an age on our dreams, success or living the life we desire.

I remember when I told God if I am not married and have another child by 35 then it was a wrap for me. Now at 36 going on 37 I laugh at my ultimatum that I gave God. I realize there is beauty in embracing every stage of your life at every age. I am not married at this point in my life and I definitely don’t desire another child. I never knew that my 30’s was a time for me to explore my authenticity, heal from my past and embrace newness. We live in a society that can sometimes be caught up in the numbers but as we progress America is realizing age is simply a number!

After 36 years of living I realize I can be who I want to be and I can do what I want to do at any age. The only thing that will limit me is my mindset. You can get married at 50, have kids at 42 or go back to school at 60. Age is not the determining factor in your life from succeeding…..your mindset is! When you put a deadline on how much you can accomplish due to your age then you limit your potential. We all have the potential to be great but some of us choose to wait until a certain time to achieve the things we want to do.

Have you ever thought about retiring at 30, 40 or even 50, if so what is stopping you? Absolutely nothing! It is time to get rid of the deadline in your head and start living again, start dreaming and pursuing the life you desire. Yes, it’s true with age comes responsibility and wisdom but also with age comes grace to appreciate life a lot more. I can attest to this because the older I get the more I appreciate life and all it has to offer. If you started to put deadlines in your head I want you to take a step back and erase those pesky things. Watch and see how amazing your life can be if you start to embrace the moment at any age because in reality age ain’t nothing but a number!

Am I Feminist?

The word feminist can sometimes have a negative meaning depending on who is defining the word. I never thought I would even questioned the fact that I really believe deep down I am a feminist. According to Webster’s Dictionary a feminist is a person who believes in organized activities in support of women’s rights and interests. It also defined feminist as the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. I never have been focused on the word feminist because I believe we live in a society that put labels on things but create a bad stigma behind the labels.

In this case, I believe the word feminist consistently has been misconstrued to society. I recently took a quiz that identified whether you were a feminist or not and to my surprise it stated I was a full blood feminist.  I am not the type of woman who likes to be defined by labels and I never let labels make me or break me.  Labels are used to categorize things which can sometimes limit our ability to be more. Labels are used to minimize who we truly are to put us in a box. I never like to be put into a box because as we grow we change and continue to expand. However, as I further decipher the word feminist I realize it is nothing to run from but embrace. I am truly a woman who loves things that are centered on women empowerment, uplifting women and inspiring women to be more than what society says they should be.

It is our duty as women to make sure we are upholding the right image of what a lady should be due to the responsibility to the younger generation of girls. As a mother I constantly express to my daughter to be her own person, never try to fit in with the crowd but blend out. In society we constantly try to make others fit into a certain category but it takes bravery to step out the norm. And being a woman who believes in equality I guess I am a feminist in my own right. Feminism for me is about embracing your inner strength as woman breaking societal validation and being true to yourself. If this is what makes me a feminist well I can proudly say that I am. Every woman I believe is a feminist if we take the time to embrace our inner feminism and love ourselves completely. A woman is powerful when she knows her power uses it wisely to educate other woman about their worth and bridge the gap of tearing down the wrong images of women. So am I feminist, according to my definition I can embrace the word wholeheartedly.